Should I discipline willful 12mo?

[Mmmmcheese]

DS is 12mo and is very wilful and stubborn. When he wants something he will get obsessed with having it and scream if I don't let him. He's being a real pain to change his nappy as he just wants to roll over on the mat and short of physically restraining him I can't stop him.

I've tried using no firmly but he totally ignores me, and sometimes distraction works and sometimes it doesn't.

I know he's very little to be properly disciplined yet but when do I start?! I really don't want him to grow up being wilful and disobedient and want to make sure he listens to me but am I expecting too much in a 12mo?

I have no answers but am watching with interest as I'm in the same boat with DS.

I've resorted to buying pull-up nappies because he refuses to stay still long enough for me to do the tabs on the normal ones. Distraction does not work.

He keeps biting people so I now shout 'No!" put him on the floor for a minute and ignore him when he does it. He hates that and it seems to be working.

DS's nursery key worker described it as the mini teenager phase - they are mobile, they want to be independent, they want to see how far they can go. Now is a good time to be setting boundaries and enforcing them in a way they can understand, with lots of cuddles and nice things when they are doing good things too.

IMO a 12 month old is still a baby and way too young to be disciplined. I mean, what kind of discipline were you thinking of? Stuff like sending them to their room/naughty step etc would be completely pointless and unworkable with a 12 month old.

Just keep on with the distraction and obviously don't let him have stuff just because he screams and he'll learn in time. You will just know when he is old enough for more structured/definite 'discipline' basically when they are more aware of what they are doing and are more able to learn from consequences.

Nappy changes are always a nightmare at this age. I used to reserve stuff I wouldn't normally let them have (car keys/remote control) for nappy changing time so I could keep them still and in one place. They do grow out of it in their own time anyway though!

at 12 months you dont discipline!

you distract, and when you cant just do what needs to be done as quickly as possible, so can move on!

My 13mo is a nightmare at nappy changing and seems to sense if it is poo and be even worse! I sit on the floor and put him on the mat inbetween my legs and use my feet to (gently) pin his shoulders and upper arms down. I still give him a "forbidden" toy like my keys/phone and he still gets a bit annoyed but he can't escape or spread the poo around which his feet/hands [bleuch emoticon] which is the main thing.

I think they are too little to understand the consequences of their actions and proper discipline, I distract a LOT and say No! and put on the floor if he does something very naughty which does seem to work, and is quite a gentle way of letting him know I don't like what he did.

If you have to hold him down to change his nappy, you hold him down.

You cannot discipline a baby and that's what he still is at 12 months. He's not being deliberately naughty, he's being a baby.

Not sure if this helps, but my DD (20 months now) went through a phase of wriggling like a demon when her nappy was being changed. At the same time, I happened to read a potty training book (too early, but was just doing some research coincidentally at same time). Book said that inadvertantly reacting to what you find in the nappy, especially poo, can be picked up on by little ones and they consequently don't want their nappies changed because they don't want to see or sense your distaste. They try anything to avoid it, hence the wriggling. Not sure if there is anything in it, but DH and I stopped reacting to her nappies, and she stopped wriggling within a couple of days. I'm quite sure it's a random coincidence, but it might be worth a try...?

Good luck!

I'm starting to have the same problems, but with my 8 month old. I think it's just a nightmare juxtaposition of the fact that they can do things combined with the fact they are too young to understand boundaries.

I use a firm NO a lot. On the basis that he will get the gist eventually as I say NO, then move him away. It does seem to be connecting as now when I say NO, he stops, looks at me, then tentatively carries on until I remove him

I would say the same as above really, start putting boundaries in place by distraction and/or removal, but don't punish. They really have no concept of doing things wrong at this stage. Lots of hugs and cuddles for good behaviour though and after removal/distraction.

As for the nappy thing, we don't make a fuss about poo, and he wriggles the same for wet or dirty nappies. We go for a mixture of distraction, bribery, gentle physical restraint and hope.

And a lot of wet wipes to hand.

do you have a playpen?

if mine repeatedly did annoying things they went in there to 'refresh'

He will understand the word "No" but be unable most of the time to act upon it. So be patient.
As he grows older, get right down to his level, and if he keeps doing something you dont think he should be doing then look him firmly in the eye and say "No". . .Remove him from the situation and distract.
He may cry but thats ok, its only normal human nature to be wilful.
, But he will eventually realise that what you say, is what you mean.
Lots of love in between is a must.

Save the no's for when it really matters, honestly for now he is exactly the same as when he was newborn in terms of his understanding.
Distraction is the name of the game until at least 2 IMO.

How about this!

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