DS 12 can I help him to be happier?

[rollerskateskinny]

DS is a moody, negative child I fear I've probably made him so.

When he was little I really didn't understand that he didn't understand when he was doing something 'naughty' and I was too hard on him.

His sister was born when he was 4. I spent a week or so in hospital and it was awful when she was tiny she would only feed if she wasn't too hungry would spit up half her milk and would only sleep in my arms.

Meanwhile ds totally regressed toilet training wise and I frequently lost my temper with him for it.

FFWD DS always thinks he's going to fail at anything he tries right down to making a sandwich. He constantly complains that he is fat, ugly, useless, stupid. He gives up on things so easily.
He's obsessive about his hobbies-we ordered something for him online and it's taken a bit longer than it should, he freaks out every morning when the post comes hitting things and crying.

I've gone so wrong with him,now I don't how to help him it's such hard work.

Sorry so long.

I ahve 3 dcs. I am far from perfect. Poor you and poor him. I would suggest lots of cuddles, lots of saying how special he is, lots of dates just you and him, lots of thinking up treats lots and lots of LOVE (to you both)

You've not gone wrong - he's 12! and on the way to becoming a fully fledged, moody teenager...

if he says that he is fat, ugly etc., tell him that he isn't - praise him for stuff he can do, find things for him to do that he likes and can become good at.

I have a nearly 12 year old, and he can be really hard work - very up and down temper-wise, hating me one minute, and then cuddling up with me on the sofa the next...

there are various threads around about 11/12 year old boys - you are not the only one!

I want to believe it's just him being 12, not sure though, he has been this way for years.

He does ok at school, not as well as he could do because he is lacking in confidence.

He has settled into secondary school quite well and has made a few friends.

He is very keen on getting his things organised for school each day, but frets out of all proportion if anything is forgotten.

The idea that he is borderline aspergers/autistic has crossed my mind. Am not sure how much it would help him if he was to be diagnosed though. I really don't know much about it and fear (perhaps wrongly)that it might make things worse.