Feeding at night - advice please

[RedCloud]

This is by no means a moan as I know how lucky I am to have 2 healthy happy children BUT I'd like to hear any tips any mums have on night time feeding and wake-up patterns.

I have a 4 month old who still is waking 3 times a night for milk and its slowly starting to finish me off. OK so she goes to bed at 7, wakes at 1130, 2am and then again at 5. We have instigated a 'dream feed' of formula at 1130 and her last feed of the day (7ish) is also formula - hungry baby version at present.

I am reluctant to let her cry in the night as we live in a small flat and I do not want her to wake up my 4 year old, therefore the minute she starts to stir, I intervene and feed her for the sake of peace more than anything else. I am wondering if this is my undoing?

I spose my reason for posting is that my son was easily sleeping through the night by this stage and I know every baby is different but I can't help feeling slightly ripped off and desperate for a 6 hour stint of unbroken sleep.

Does it sound like I am doing anything wrong? Is there anything I could do differently? Thank you all.

imo that level of feeds for a 4 month old is normal. If you wanted to you could try using other methods to get her back to sleep but she may well just need those feeds.

Might not be what you want to hear, but I'd say it was DC1 who was unusual in sleeping through at this point, and DC2 who is following a more normal pattern!

The only thing I could suggest is (as you've picked up on yourself) you might want to try not to try to go to her as soon as she stirs - she may self settle.

I'm sorry this hasn't done anything to help, but hopefully just reassure you that she's being quite normal!

x

Eagerly awaiting replies! My dd is 6mnths and just like this....the irony is she used to sleep 7pm-6am at 6wks but hit 4mnths and everything changed. She doesn't cry just makes noises loud enough to keep us all up until I feed her. Hoping as I increase solids it will help as ds slept better once they were more established

She may need or not need the feed, but in my opinion (and that's all it is) you're not doing her any favours in going to her the second she stirs, even though I can well understand your reasons for doing so.

I think, personally, it's important for babies to learn to self settle, and they do wake and stir throughout the night (as do we!) but by going to her, you may be setting a pattern, when she can be learning to self settle by this stage. And indeed, with my DS, if I go to him when he stirs, it often properly wakes him up, whereas if I leave him, he goes back to sleep of his own accord.

Obviously if she cries I would go in, but if not, I would probably leave her and see how it goes.

In my small sample of mums at mum's group, I would say by 4 months, many babies are still waking once for food, but probably not 3 times. I would suggest continuing with a dream feed, maybe at 10.30pmish and then if she wakes, leave her for 5 minutes to see if she settles, or just go to her and pat and shhhh her. If she wakes properly crying for a feed, so be it, but if she settles back to sleep, that's great too.

I would also ensure that she's getting enough calories in the day, by making sure you feed at least every 3 hours or 3 1/2 (I am sure you know this).

Good luck!

Oh and Roo my DS started doing this at 4 months too. He wasn't hungry, just waking, not crying, just being loud - apparently it's the dreaded 4 month sleep regression.

We got through it by me going in and doing the "pat shhhh" and sometimes having to rock him back to sleep. At 6 months he is pretty much back to normal, but I still have to go in now and then and re-tuck him in and shhhh him.

In a way it's worse going back to night waking isn't it?

Thanks all for your messages. Roo83 funnily enough I also thought I had it in the bag at 6 weeks and almost started boasting... then it all changed!! Funny how you think you've nailed it then nature puts you back in your place! I initially put it down to a growth spurt but this is easily the longest growth spurt I've known! Infact more time spent growth spurting than not at this rate!

Hmmm may have to give the shhhhshing a go - I remember shhhshing til I was blue in the face with no 1 so I obviously was trying to get him to settle himself so maybe this could be the way forward. Anyone got a shhhh CD?!!! Could be an idea for Dragon's Den!! x

Both my DCs were still waking at 4 months for feeds three or more times in the night and as far as I can tell that's not unusual at all. I agree with Ozziegirly that it's important for babies to learn to self-settle BUT I think 4 months is way too little. It's a time of huge growth and development and babies need both the calories and the comfort. Their little brains are fizzing over!

Erm.. prob not what you'd want to hear but DS fed at night until 13 or 14 months old.. and still wakes up a lot, although isn't asking for booby anymore. We co-sleep tho which explains it to an extent. He currently only breastfeeds before bed and TBH, he'd give that up too if I insisted but I'm happy to keep going for another couple of months (he's not gaining weight so I'll wait till that improves). I thought he'd never give up night feeds and was bracing myself for a fight but then one day he just stopped. I suppose what I'm trying to say here is, different kids have different needs, but I'd certainly join the chorus in that at four months this is pretty normal.

Hello redcloud
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Hope this is of help, wishing you all peaceful nights x