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Parenting

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Original poster

How did you explain periods to your DD?

10 replies

viewfromawindow · 21/02/2011 22:46

Ok so my DD is 9 and we have never had the "periods" talk. I have always been very honest in answering any questions she asks and I guess I was hoping the topic might crop up naturally. Stupid I know. I'm now getting myself in a real tizz as I know she could start at any time and it would be awful if she wasn't prepared.
I don't know why I have found this so hard and am really just looking for some helpful suggestions of what has helped you make it a positive experience for your DD and not just something scary.

[I am expecting lots of responses along the line of "you should have done it by now" and "don't be so pathetic" so if that's your response please keep it to yourself... I know both of these pieces of information. ]

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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harpsichordcarrier · 21/02/2011 22:52

Hello! My suggestion was that you should buy her a pack of nice STs and find the right moment to give them to her, privately but AS MATTER OF FACTLY AS YOU CAN. Then you can ask her if she knows what to expect and if she wants to ask you anything.
You could, I would suggest, start the conversation by talking about when you started in the most positive terms that you can....
Offer your support for her, saying that (for example) she might find a HWB helpful if she gets a bit of cramping. And you could talk about tampons etc.
IMO it is up to you to set the tone - treat it like the utterly normal part of growing up that it is.
IS this helpful??

Original poster

viewfromawindow · 21/02/2011 22:56

harpsichordcarrier : thanks for your helpful response! . I think one of the reasons I find it hard is I didn't have a good experience (obviously will NOT share that with her!), as my Mum never discussed it at all and I was away at boarding school when I started. I agree it is up to me to set the tone. I teach primary children so usually can really find the right words - think I might have to plan this one carefully.

OP posts:

rupaul · 21/02/2011 23:03

Before I had dd, I wondered how I'd approach this. I needn't have worried. She's now nearly 5. She's always in the loo getting in my way so consequently she knows all about it as a matter of course.

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Asinine · 21/02/2011 23:05

Is she a reader? I got my daughter a book when she first started developing called "what's happening to me?" I told her that my mum had never discussed things with me and I had worried through lack of information, and didn't want her to feel that way. So she read it and seemed fine with that.

ShowOfHands · 21/02/2011 23:10

I have a 3yr old so a little bit different. But with her being in and out of the bathroom all the time, she inevitably asked. She knows the basics that every month an egg is released and if it's not fertilised then it needs to come out, along with the womb lining. I explained that it is blood and sometimes sore and that every woman goes through it. She will recite all of this to anybody who is remotely interested. Or not. Sorry, passengers on the no 17 bus.

But with a 9yr old, the perspective shifts slightly to the fact that it IS going to happen to her and soonish. Talk to her about the practical side of things. Buy her somewhere to store sanitary towels and clean knickers (a little purse or something) and gift it to her. Talk to her about how to manage it. Reassure her that she will manage it and you will help if she needs it.

Are you sure she knows nothing?

TobyLerone · 21/02/2011 23:13

A couple of years ago, I was driving the kids home and had awful period pains. They knew something was up and asked me if I was ok. I said I was fine, but that I had a bit of a tummyache. My daughter (who was about 7/8 at the time) asked me if I felt sick, and I told her it was a different kind of tummyache. My son, who must have been 9, piped up "Oh, is it period pain?"

I said "yes, actually". Turned out that they'd read about it in a book my ex had bought for them (he doesn't ever explain the sex stuff to them). I'm fine with explaining things like that to them, it just hadn't occurred to me to do that then. So we just ended up talking about it from there. About what happens, why it happens, how it is 'dealt with', etc.

My daughter (now almost 10) is slightly concerned that it will happen at school and she won't know what to do. I told her that if it does and she doesn't want to tell anyone, to go to the office and tell them that she feels sick and that they should call me. That way, I can come and get her and it will be less traumatic for her.

But basically what I've told her is that it's nothing to worry about, it's all fine, and that she'll be ok.

mrsfollowill · 21/02/2011 23:16

try this I can't recommend the book because I haven't read it personally- but I was given a book (many years ago) prompting a 'talk' and pack of towels. It really helped. I have a nearly 9 yo DS - hoping DH will do the 'talk' with him! man to man can't believe my 'baby' is growing up- bet you feel the same!

thisisyesterday · 21/02/2011 23:16

has she had any sex education at school yet? i remember having it in the last year or so of primary school, which opened up the way for my mum to talk to me as well, althouigh the school actually did a very good job of telling us everything we'd need to know

that might make a good opening though, if you know she has done it there

Original poster

viewfromawindow · 22/02/2011 00:30

Thanks guys for the helpful suggestions. I do feel such an idiot letting her get so old before tackling it. thisisyesterday: she is due to have the sex ed talk this school year so I think it's important I give her a heads up so to speak, before then.

ShowOfHands: Not sure if she really knows nothing... she is really into her animals and certainly knows it takes a male a female and even uses the term "mating" - which was a bit of a shock when that one came out!!

I'll probably find out she knows it all and getting all worked up has been pointless! Will let you know the response!

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Roo83 · 22/02/2011 08:53

She probably knows already from school/friends. At about the same age my mum asked me if I knew about periods and I told her we'd done it at school. She then said was there anything else I wanted to know or ask? I didn't...would have probably asked my cousins (8yrs older than me) if I'd wanted to know anything. If she hasn't done it at school I'd second giving her a book to read and then tell her to ask or write down any questions she has. Other tip would be to keep a good supply of sanitary products where she can get them-I used to hate having to ask my mum to go to the shops for some but was too scared to buy my own/couldn't afford it....my best friend could just help herself to a ready supply!

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