Coping strategies for a life without structure (bit long, sorry)

[purpleturtle]

We are one month into a 3 month stay in Western Australia. A sort of extended holiday, with a view to checking out possibilities for returning more permanently.

We have a dd, 4.5 and a ds, nearly 3. They are pretty fantastic on the whole. Lots of people here have commented on how well they seem to be coping, how happy they are etc.

However, behind closed doors the story can be different - understandably. We have no 'home of our own' base. For almost 5 weeks we have stayed with a family with teenagers, sleeping in their caravan for 3 of those weeks. Today we have started a one week housesit in a very comfortable house, but we don't yet know what will happen next Monday!

The stress the children are feeling is demonstrated in an unprecedented level of aggression between them, and towards us. Lots of screaming, stamping of feet and thumping going on. (The children, not me ).

We go to local playgroup twice a week, which they love and look forward to. We have had one playdate, to be returned this week. Do you have any ideas of how I can reassure the kids a bit - or even how to deal with the smacking that I undergo at the hands of my children when I dare to suggest something they don't want to do?

Do you have 'routine' inside your day that they can have some control over? I was thinking of bedtime stories that they could choose, or favourite teas that they could help make? If you're in a house pizza faces are easy?

Perhaps if they have things that they can control then the uncertanites may bother them less?

Firm boundaries are what they want imo - if all else is scary they'd like to know exactly where they are with you. So I'd tell them what the rules are, nicely, what the consequences are of breaking those rules and explain that this is a holiday and it' s ok not to be in one place all the time, it's a nice thing and doesn't mean there aren't rules. I expect they're a bit disoriented and a bit of direction and loving firmness will make a difference.

Thanks www - wise words indeed. Yesterday we resorted to bribery to get them to sleep in their own bed and not ours! On the promise of a treat today, both of them managed it. Ds turned up at our bedside at 6am, but when reminded of the deal he went back to bed.

Ice cream and chocolate have recently been consumed by way of reward.

Will have a go at laying down the law, too.

That's ice cream for ds and chocolate for dd, btw. I haven't completely lost the plot!