Struggling- will this ever end?

[Enoon]

Dd is 6 months old and never been a good sleeper. Made good progress with ncss and we had a week where she was sleeping through. Then things started getting worse again, but she had z sore throat, they improved for a couple of days and she was sleeping brilliantly. The last week has been a nightmare getting progressively worse. Last night she refused to go to bed at normal time 6pm) wouldn't got to bed till 7pm, but self settled in her cot. Then up at 820 for an hour, then 1015, 1215, 330, then up for day at 445am. Has had two 45 min naps since then.

I can't cope. I'm so tired and stressed. I'm moving to another part of the country in less that two weeks. I have no support except dh and he works long hours. I've shouted at dd and shook my fist at her in past week. Have spoken to hv about this, know it isn't acceptable. Shouted at dd at 5am last night and dh thought I had hit her- imagine how awful that would make you feel. I love her more than anything and she is so beautiful and happy and bright, but she is just a terrible sleeper. Feel like it's all my fault, have made a rod for my own back by feeding on demand etc. In laws think I should do cc, I don't want to so can't ask them to help because they think it's my fault, have made rod for own back. I feel so alone. Just spoke to dh and he is going to try to take tomorrow off so I can catch up on sleep, but that's just one day and I will be on my own again after that.

Someone please tell me it will get better?

It will get better, of course it will, but that's no comfort right now is it? You poor thing, you sound at the end of your tether.

If you want to get it sorted sooner rather than later, I cannot recommend Millpond Sleep Clinic highly enough.

They talk to you in depth you over the phone and devise a strategey tailor made for your child.

You then put it in place, but you talk to Millpond every day and they keep you motivated and iron out any issues. You can phone them at any time with questions or for support.

It's usually done and dusted inside a week.

They really are just brilliant, I don't know anyone who hasn't had succsss with them. I mean, literally life changing stuff. The child is happier, you are like a different (non-sleep-deprived!) person, your relationship with your DP improves....

I think the fee is about two hundred quid IIRC, which I know isn't insignificant, but I'd have paid thousands to just get some decent sleep, so it's a total bargin in that sense.

Also if you add up what you might spend on little aids like nightlights/rocking cots/soothing music CDs etc etc, the costs very quickly mount up and often without any discernible effect!

Good luck Enoon. Keep your pecker up. It's really shit, but even if you do nothing, it won't - it can't - last forever and you will survive.

Thanks notanumber. Will talk to dh tonight about millpond. We thought we had cracked it with ncss but things have just gone backward again, so depressing. She slept 8+ hours straight last weekend, now I'mucky to get 2.5 :-(

Dh has taken tomorrow off so take dd so I can rest. I love dh :-)

Thanks notanumber. Will talk to dh tonight about millpond. We thought we had cracked it with ncss but things have just gone backward again, so depressing. She slept 8+ hours straight last weekend, now I'mucky to get 2.5 :-(

Dh has taken tomorrow off so take dd so I can rest. I love dh :-)

Enoon, just want to send you some virtual sympathy - because I remember those feelings oh so well. It is really really hard and the millpond idea sounds like a really good one. I did ncss but it mostly helped to make me feel better about my dd's sleep. We coped because we both work from home and I could lie in if necessary - if your dh works long hours then you don't have that lifesaving option. I think it is great that forums like this exist so you can come and offload when you are on the edge. And your dh sounds great!

You have my sympathy.

Go to the sleep forum on here, several threads ongoing with people experiencing the same things, with similar age babies and there is lots of virtual hand-holding going on at the moment.

You are not alone - and strangely I have found that to be a comfort for myself.....

Thanks all for the sympathy and to know I'm not alone! In RL just about every seems to have a perfect baby who only wakes up once from 7-7.

I had a rest yesterday, DH was off and took DD in the morning so I could sleep, so felt a lot better. DH caught up on all the chores I'd been neglecting so the house isn't such a bomb site. DD settled in her cot on her own, albeit an hour later than usual, quite happily - I thought we might get a reasonable night. But she was up demanding food every hour, I refused at midnight, but eventually caved in 50 mins later, she eventually settled in her cot having fed just gone 1am, then got up again at 3am, left in cot in despair at 3:40am where she settled after a grumble until 6:30am. Went back to sleep 8am - 9:45am in our bed, I got a kip so am not quite such a wreck.

Have made appointment with Millpond. Feeding a healthy 6 month old on an hourly basis (when I know she can sleep through with one feed) is ridiculous and has to stop. I just don't know how...... hopefully Millpond can help! Fingers crossed.

my first DD was like this - I remember hallucinating from tiredness. just want to echo everyone elses sympathy and to say it will get better.
A couple of things which worked for us;

1. swimming - I took her from 6 weeks old and it was guaranteed that she would sleep for around 2-3 hours after - that might give you chance for a nap?
2. chiropractor - cranial whatsit - cant recommend this enough. although mine was much younger when we did this

good luck

thanks Spandangle - is the chiropractor only for birth trauma stuff though? I had an EMCS so I don't know if she would have had any head problems being born. She never engaged at all (head positioned wrongly).

Hi Enoon,

I really feel for you :-( I find screaming into a pillow outside the baby's earshot is somewhat effective for anger management.

Have you thought about co-sleeping for some or all of the night?

This helped me greatly when I was desperately sleep deprived. From the age of 6-8 months we would put our ds to sleep in his cot. If he woke before 3am we settled him back in his cot but if he woke after 3am we brought him to bed. Because he slept well in our bed I could get at least 4 hours under my belt to keep me sane.

If your baby crawls around the bed too much you could consider sleeping on a mattress on the floor?

You could maybe try it for a week and to recover your fighting spirit and then start the ncss again?

My DS has suffered a sleep regression since turning one (he's 14 mo) and I have started co-sleeping again just to stay sane. I am working on the ncss for toddlers now but in the meantime I have to hold on to the end of his sleeping bag and hope he doesn't clime/fall out of our bed :-)

By the way, I am taking my ds to a cranial osteopath this week for a free consult. I too had an emcs so I will let you know what they say as to whether it's appropriate!!

Enon- I think C sections come with another set of potential 'problems'..its worth phoning and having a chat with someone..find 1 who specialises in babies. Mine is fantastic - what area are you in?

Path of least resistance rather than oath!!

A lot of babies sleep through at 6 months but equally, lots still don't! Don't think theres anything abnormal with her, it'll definitely get better. Our daughter is 2.5yrs, never slept brilliantly though she's a pretty 'ok' sleeper now, terrible as a baby. A few points of advice might help,

1. Teething, babies teeth until about 12months, possibly until 18months with the back molars. They won't always show signs other than being irritable, wakefulness, chewing, red cheeks and my daughter used to get a bit of diarrohea when particularly bad.

2)Do you nap when the baby naps? Two 45 min naps for you could be really refreshing. Its hard as a new mum to not think you should be catching up on housework or even going on the internet as a 'break'. I catnap even now if we've had a bad night, if she's been ill etc. And it really perks me up.

3)Hunger? Babies grow so fast, my daughter was a big feeder so would frequently wake with hunger up until about a year. She's a very tall girl now and still a big eater. My DD was FF mostly but I think BF and FF babies cluster feed, so one night will need nothing and sleep all night and other nights will feed all night and all day. Babies grow more in the first 12 months than any other time in their life so I guess a certain amount of unpredicability it to be expected.

Thanks rev. I don't expect her to sleep through, just not get up 6 times including one 2 hr period as she did last night. It's ruining our lives .