Extremely Emotional 6 Yr Old

[princesslia84]

At the latest parents evening, my DD's teacher expressed her concern about DD. She has been crying during school, to the point of being taken out of the classroom every day for nearly a month.

DD has been very volatile at home since New Year, if she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it I "hate" her, if I sing along with the radio she screams at me to shut up and punches me, anything that can be vaguely seen as criticism results in tears, it's almost as if she's reliving her "terrible twos"

There have been a couple of incidents that have been catalysts for some of this behaviour, but I'm beginning to think she's milking it. Especially at school, as once the waterworks are turned on she'll go to the head of KS1's office, get cuddles and chat and be able to sit and do drawings with 1-to-1 attention, whereas in the classroom she's expected to do the work, and has to share the teacher and TA with 28 other kids.

I'm at my wits end, I've tried reward charts which only seem to work for a couple of days, I've confiscated/banned movies/videogames/hobbies, and am unsure where to go next, and whether it's just a phase or not... Help!!

I think it is hard I have said so many times on here about how my dd can be and she is 6.She is a little nightmare tbh especially with me.She does have her problems but is usually good at school but then she does have times where she will hate everything I do!

I tend to try and take some of it with a pinch of salt now as she does things and says things that she knows will get a reaction out of me.I find that she cries more when she is tired even if she has not really been told off

Could that be something that sets your dd off?And also if you think she wants that attention that she would fake it, what do you think could be causing her to go to such lenghts to get one on one attention?She may have realised if she acts a certain way she gets what she wants, but is there any underlining problems, bullying at school maybe?

There has been bullying at school - There are 2 girls in her class who have been pretty damn spiteful. I'm working with the teachers on this one, as although I have seen it first hand (DD being poked in the eye, pushed in the playground, called fat and pregnant.. at SIX!). I'm not surprised that she wants out of the classroom, 20 years ago, at the same age I did the exact same thing.

Any hint of criticism seems to set DD off at home, even if I ask her to move upon the sofa so I can sit there too it's somehow an insult. I've been ignoring it all to a degree the last couple of days and the sulking/crying has really lessened without attention.

Thanks for your helpful comments :)

If you think she's faking it to get attention then tell the school

sounds like the attention is all positive for over-emotionality and your child reacts well to the comfort and wants it more it may not actually be the best thing for her in my opinion

Why don't you tell school to tell her that enough is enough and if she has a problem she must sit at the back of her own classroom and write or draw what the problem is and what is upsetting her?

Thanks activate. That's what I plan to do after half term. She isn't getting positive attention for her over emotionality from me, so she doesn't try it as much at home.

That must be horrible for her if that is happening at school, kids can be so cruel and maybe that is her way of dealing with it.

Anyway good luck

Princess it sounds more like she's reacting to being bullied!! You say you went through similar when you were at school so please try and feel some compassion for her.

Sounds to me like she's screaming out for some help and support. She clearly isn't coping. I think you need an urgent meeting with the school to discuss the bullying issue and to make them aware of your concerns over her emotional state. You say you're already working with the teachers on the bullying issue, well I would say whatever (if anything) is being done is not enough.

Please please don't punish her further but also don't ignore her emotions. You need to talk with her, help her express why she's behaving as she is in words rather than flounces and over-reactions.

She needs you to help her manage her emotions and advocate for her at school. She's only 6, she has no emotional tools to help her deal with this.