OP, this is going to be looooong - but you did ask.
Who are the people who make up a mothers network of relations?
In my case - not a lot of people. My parents live abroad, as did my in-laws when they were alive. My sister lives half an hour away but she runs a busy livery yard and works 70+ hours a week.
I did jion a mother and baby group when I had DD1 and we all stayed together when we had our second children, but after that we mostly lost touch - now we only ever meet incidentally at parties our mutual children have been invited to or school events. All of us work, some f/t, some p/t so taht makes it harder. Mostly I've got through by bouncing ideas off fellow parents in my working environment, and that's been very supportive.
What are Mothers priorities?
My priorities have always been to raise happy, healthy independent children who are lively but have manners, realise that you don't get something without working for it, understand the value of money and are compassionate. The bove includes setting an example in everything I do, including the way I behave with DH and with everyone around me. I also think it's very important to teach them tolerance so we discuss things as they come up on the news - things like gay marriage, racism and the stigma surroudning mental illness to name but a few. I would like my children to be people who think before judging.
What is a day in a Mum's life like?
My DCs are 8 and 10 so a typical day is something like this: 5.40 am - DH's alarm goes off. I snooze while he has a shower, the DCs either sleep or creep into bed with me for a cuddle. I shower at 6.10, am downstairs getting breakfast ready by 6.25, self and DCs dressed. And yes, it has taken a long time for us to get this efficient.
7.10: leave house, drop off DCs at before school care. Commute to work, work approximately 8.20 - 16.20. DH finishes work at 4 so picks up the girls from after school care (same place).
Arrive hom 17.15-ish, DH will be cooking dinner, I supervise shower. Recent changes mean this is now done very quickly (after much frustration and nagging). DCs get school clothes ready for nextday unless it's Friday.
Dinner is at 17.45-ish. DCs do homework or spelling, then play/read/veg. They have half an hour of TV, then go up to bed at 19.30. Brush teeth, read story, then DCs get 15 minutes reading time in their rooms until about 20.15, then lights out. DH and I wind down, watch tv or read or set the world to rights talking about stuff. DH goes to bed about 21.30. I go about half an hour later.
Who are the people which Mums rely on?
MDH in my case - he's wonderful, totally pulls his weight around the house and in many ways is better than I am. Other than that - good professional childcare, and a boss who trusts me to work even when I'm allowed/need flexibility.
How you feel before you became a mother and how you feel now?
I always wanted children. Fortunately so did DH. The reality was much harder and also much better than expected - I was blessed in that I bonded with both my DCs instantly and intensely and taht they were both 'easy' babies. So far it just gets better, although it's never all roses. We have a lot of sibling rivalry, there's 2 years between my two, and my marriage did go through a very, very rough patch 3 years ago when my DH was feeling (justifiably) unappreciated and I was feeling (justifiably) that there was too much anger in his parenting. We worked to sort it.
I love being a mother, but I don't think I could have been a SAHM even if finances had allowed. I know I've missed out on stuff - not least the school run - but the upside is that my DCs know that it takes hard work to make a life. And on those rare occasions when I do get to do the school run, it's a joy even if none of the other mums have a clue who I am.
Challenges faced by mums.
Oooh, where do I start? Let's see:
- The Daily Mail
- Guilt
- Schools assuming that there is always one parent at home so it doesn't matter if they mess around with extra non-pupil days at schort notice
- Guilt
- Balancing the needs of the DCs against the need for adult relationships
- And oh, did I mention guilt?
Where do you get help, if you need it?
DH is marvellous. He can take sick leave if one of the DCs is ill so we share the time off.
My boss is equally marvellous - lets me work from home if one of the DCs is ill and DH can't do it.
My parents are marvellous - they are well off and always offering to help financially if we need it (and if we don't). And they are having the DCs for 2 weeks this summer, bless them.
Lots of other people are marvellous too - our next door neighbour let me borrow her car to take the DCs to nursery when they were little and my car refused to start, and she fielded the AA for me too.
Is it what you thought it would be?
No, I don't think you can imagine what it will be and get anywhere close. It's better, harder, more emotional, it makes you doubt everything you thought was true about yourself. I wouldn't change a thing, though.
That's the end of the epic, hope it's useful to you. You can always pm me if you need more!