Do I or don't I?

[temporarystate]

I need some advice!

DS is 2.11m (with a younger brother 14m) and so far I have not attempted to Potty Train because he simply was not ready.

I did not attempt it previously because he did not have the language or understanding, and tbh my focus was on behaviour because with the arrival of his new brother and going to play school hitting and throwing were a higher priority!

In the last 2months his behaviour, language and understanding have all significantly improved and in my mind I had earmarked Feb half term for starting PT.

Bought the 'special seat' for the toilet, have showed him it and how it works, talked about him being a big boy and trying it himself, he watches me and always wants to 'see' what he has done in his nappy. All v excited.

In readiness for PT I have also been encouraging him to get involved in dressing himself and undressing himself a bit more, walking down the stairs without holding my hand, feeding himself his 'whole' dinner etc etc

However, as the days have gone by he has started saying 'no' when I talk about using his 'special seat', and for all the other stuff (dressing etc) he has started to immediately say 'can't do it' 'need help' 'mummy help me' even though he CAN do it.

He has also started to get a bit more aggressive again towards his brother (rough)

So, I am thinking its all been too much too quickly? Is this a reaction to me talking about potty training? Is this 'can't do it' business something I should listen to or should I just continue to encourage him to do it for himself

I think deep down I am getting a little frustrated with doing all these things for him still when he is perfectly capable but, of course his little brother still needs my help so I can see why he gets jealous. But I am really careful to praise him when he does do it.

Am so confused! Should I persist with the independence training and potty training?? Or is this a sign to leave it??
Thanks for reading

I think maybe go with him for a bit. Maybe he does know how to do all these things, but he's lacking a little in confidence to do them by himself? Maybe it is about the attention his baby bro gets when you do things for him.

Ds1 was 3 when he decided he was no longer going to wear nappies. We'd had the potty knocking around for ages (over a year probably) and he could use it, knew what to do could undress himself etc., but preferred not to. I know he could do it, because for the 2 days a week I worked, when he was with our childminder, he was dry all day! He refused to go to her in pants, but woul insist as soon as he arrived, and went back in a nappy for the hour home on the bus (though that was my choice, obv couldn't stop the bus for a wee stop!). But yeah, one day he just decided enough was enough. I think had I forced the issue when he was letting us know he wasn't really ready it would have taken a lot longer.

One thing I do remember saying to him was about being a 'big grown up boy', thinking it was a positive. He just wailed "But I don't want to grow up yet" I think he had a point!

Oh I meant to say that still (ds1 now 7) he will NOT do something unless he knows he'll be good at it first. No idea where that's come from but I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was behind him not wanting to come out of nappies until he did.

I think my DS is very similar re needing to be good at something first - the other day he had to fit a piece inside a toy and I always (internally) steel myself because if he can't do things straight away he quickly gets very upset and frustrated and generally throws 'it' across the room - anyway this time he did it (cue lots of praise) then when it fell out he tried again but couldn't do it, but instead of letting me help or trying again he went and hid the piece in question!

Amateur psychologist needed! This is another reason why I think I am hesitating, because I know if it doesn't work it will upset him and could put him off for longer? IYSWIM

For sure. What is playschool's policy? If they're all right with him still in nappies then I'd be tempted to leave him a bit a longer. Easter hols are only 7 weeks away, and that'd give you a little while longer to get it cracked too.

Playschool are really happy to support whatever I choose - I did check with them first as they previously backed up my belief that he wasn't ready (at around 2.6m).

I think I just need to suck it up for a bit longer....Now to think up a different plan to fill those long half term days.....!!!!

Thanks doodle, I needed that