Urgent advice needed please ...

[Millie1]

Listening to DS2, 22 mths, crying hysterically cos he doesn't want to be in bed and not sure what the best way to tackle it is. At moment doing cc - no longer than 10 mins inbetween visits BUT ... he's always been fine going to bed until this past few nights when he gets upset when I leave the room. DH goes to him once and he goes to sleep, no problem.

Last night he woke at 10.30pm - DH settled him but thought he was a bit warm. Checked him half an hr later and temp of 38.1 so gave him children's nurofen, a small b'feed and popped him back. He woke again at midnight, temperature seemed okay although cool and a little clammy as opposed to on fire as he had been earlier. He would not go back to bed. It took til 3.30am - I'm still b'feeding at bedtime and for the best part of two hrs he just comfort sucked. He was bright-eyed and bushy tailed. DH tried taking him downstairs and putting video on and cup of milk (by now it was 2am) ... he just got more and more awake. Each time we tried to take him back to his room he cried hysterically. Tried him in with us but he saw that as an opporunity to sit up and kiss us in turn - funny but not funny .

Eventually we got him to sleep in our bed (and that's a big no-no in our house)at 3.30am and he slept until 7.15am when DS1 came in.

Form fluctuated all day - no temperature but didn't eat well, couple of bouts of diaorrhoea, very tired (no surprises there) and 2 hr nap and otherwise running around, playing quite happily.

Bedtime comes and it's as above. I feel, and especially as I type this, that we're doing the wrong thing letting him cry as he has been off-form but what on earth do we do. If I go to him he wants a b'f and to be perfectly honest, my poor nipples feel well chewed so I don't want to get into that. Have no idea how to get him to sleep.

Can I please have any suggestions but please please no flames for trying cc - we're truly desperate and can't face another night like last.

Thanks!

From what I remember, I think the most recommended method is to go "cold turkey" & let baby cry once you've checked that all is well. Not to pick baby up but go in and check every 20 mins with reassuring words & stroke on the cheek, etc until crying stops.

Baby thus knows you haven't "abandoned" him/her but are firm about where he/she is to sleep.

This may mean a couple of sleepless nights but brings positive results.

Otherwise, give in & do co-sleeping.

It's probably not the best parenting advice..but when my best friends dd (18 months) is acting like this she puts her on a bean bag in the living room with them, with a blanket and warm drink and finds she drifts off if left alone (i.e not trying to get her to go to bed, but not paying her much attention either)

It does sound like he's off-colour, I'd be inclined to leave it be until he's bette, just do whatever works to get everyone some sleep.

The one thing I wouldn't do, ever, is get a child out of bed in the night, to watch telly. Or do anything else interesting. They need to understand that nighttime is boring.

Is it possible he has an ear infection. As soon as the child lays flat the mucous cannot drain away and the pain is unbearable - typically 10 mins or so after lying down.

While upright the mucous drains so they seem fine.

I would expect at least a bit of a temperature though - but not always!

My friend doesnt let her dd watch tv, her and her dp just sit on the sofa reading with low lighting...they find she will drift off very fast, and my friend is sometimes convinced she just needs to see nothing interesting is happening.

Thanks everyone ... he went quiet within minutes of me posting my message! TBH, I agree re tv at night - wouldn't have dreamt of it with DS1 but when DS2 was very small it worked. Not now though.

BTW, I guess our worry is that at almost 2 he's too old to do cc, or similar, with. Doesn't leave many other options though cos certainly don't want to sit with him on my knee til he's asleep at night when he's been perfectly capable of going over himself up until now.

Oh well, fingers crossed that he'll sleep through now. If he still seems off tomorrow, will get him checked out by GP.

Thanks again!

Millie1, I think you can pretty much always do CC. Ok, my attempts with DH (to move his bedtime earlier) have not been very successful, but for everyone else ...

I've been very strict about CC with DS1, but when he's ill, or jetlagged, sometimes things go wrong. You just go through it again when they're well, only it takes less time, as they already know the drill.

Thanks NQC ... guess it's just harder when they're that bit older and wiser!

No flames from me. Although I don't do CC if you are at the end of your tether, it is one more thing to try. My DD is 15 months, still BFing and my nippes are chewed up too so I do sympathise. My DS is 4 and from my limited experience they do seem to go through phases of wakefulness/unsettled times. Most of the time in retrospect you can put it down to over tiredness, teething or coming down with an illness.

No advice, jsut hang on in there!

I agree wtih soapbox, if this is a new thing and it coincides with a fever I'd get someone to look in his ears. I wouldn't do controlled crying with a feverish under the weather baby.

also I'd use calpol not children's nurofen through choice, nurofen can be extremely tough on children's stomachs which can exacerbate the problem...

hth

I have found with my DD that every couple of months or so she goes through a phase of not wanting to go to bed or crying as we are settling her in bed.

We have always kept her in her bed in her room at bedtime. Even when she was ill (we would sit in the room with her though!) The one exception was when she had chicken pox.

We have always remained consistent and after a couple of days she has reverted back to her previous good bed time behaviour.

It can be difficult sometimes but we feel it is best for her and the least confusing. My mum is agog that we never bring her downstairs at night if she's not sleeping well or is unwell. Perhaps i really am unique!

I would stick with the previous routine and give it a few days. Just be prepared for her to fight it the first one or two nights.

Sorry, replace her with him Millie!

Thanks WCL, PPH & QV .... he slept right through once he went over and (unfortunately) I had to wake him just before 8 this morning. He's in much better form today. Thanks for info re children's nurofen - didn't know it was tougher on their tummies and probably explains the diaorrhoea-like poos yesterday. Hopefully another night or two of toughing it out and some catch-up sleep for him will get things back on an even keel.

At this age (usually about 24 months, but earlier is possible) the large, last set of molars start to come thru right at the back of the mouth. This can cause raised temp, earache, diaorhoea & general upset in a child.

I tend to have DD in my bed when she feels like this as she usually always goes straight to sleep with the extra comfort. It never really effects her normal routine, as when she is herself again, she preferes her own bed!

If she objects to going to bed I will put on one of her nursery ryhmes CD which she will fall asleep to.

I hope your little one feels better soon. Good luck.