Questions for Co-sleepers

[CoSleepEqualsNoSleep]

1. Did you actively decide to co-sleep or just sort of fall into it by default?

1. Do any of you actually get any decent sleep?

1. If bf, do you feed whenever the babe stirs/wakes/cries etc?

I am co-sleeping. Baby is 6m - this is by far the longest I've co-slept (2 older DC). No.3 is the worst sleeper of the lot by a margin

I don't sleep that fantastically, tbh. But the alternative is a wailing baby waking the household and probably the neighbours. And I think too young to 'sleep train' anyway

Just looking for ideas of what others do, really... whether there is a miracle tip to successful co-sleeping I've missed or something

TIA

We co slept with dd2 more by accident, but with dd3 by choice.

We all get much more sleep when she was with us.

Dd3 is now 3 and will often climb in at some point during the night.

Do you think you are much quicker to respond to nighttime grumbles because of not wanting to wake te others? In comparison to when they were the same age? I'm convinced this is why DC 2 isn't as good a sleeper at DC1. I ignored her very well! But she never screamed, just cried and grumbled.
It's half term, would a bit of sleep training be a good thing? If so, now might be a good time.
Be realistic. Bad habits start young. It is tough to make a change but three or four nights hard work may pay off well. If not, you haven't really lost out!
But I'm not an advocate for co sleeping, so feel free to ignore me. But I am Breastfeeding still 8 months and he goes 7pm to 4 or 5 in his own bed. Wakes with hunger! Greedy little bugger.

I co-sleep with DD (3.1yo) although I don't know if it's still called co-sleeping when they're that age! We fell into it. She was never that happy in her cot and at 6 months she stopped settling in there at all. Then it was simply the only way to get any sleep.

I'm only ever about 75% asleep I guess but you get used to it.

I co-slept with all 4 of mine and yes I can completely empathise with you because of lack of bedroom space he has to share with 2 of his brothers. But because I didn't want him to wake the others up he did spend longer in our room.

Can you make up a bed for your baby next to your bed so when he/she stirs for a feed you lift him/her into your bed then back again afterwards.

Why would anyone co sleep by choice? I do it but only because i don't have the strength to do controlled crying! Is co sleeping supposed to nurture something in a baby ie. security, self regulation etc?

Tras - Attachment Parenting by definition advocates co-sleeping (I assume, anyway)

Baby will be in our room for the forseeable as there is nowhere else to go - so can't do sleep training even if I wanted to

Re cot by the bed: just can't bear the thought of actually clambering out of bed up to 6times a night or whatever... seems so much easier to just roll over and offer the boob

Can I ask you all a question... Does co sleep mean just in same bed or actually touching?

Sorry if that seems really thick, Basically I end up co sleeping 4-5 nights a week, but the lil bugger sleeps horizontally and shuffles up against me and climbs all over me in his sleep, i regularly lift him to the other side of the bed but he notices and wriggles back all over me again. (16m) Is this normal??

I understand it to mean sharing a bed but DD wraps herself round me like a rucksack so I know how you feel!

Co-sleep means in the same bed to me.

MNandgoogle - your post made me smile, DD was the same, wherever I was she had some kind of homing instinct!
I co-slept sort of until about 14 months, usually putting DD down to sleep in her cot then bringing her in with us when she woke in the night.
I moved her out to her own room at 14 months as I was so tired and she was waking and wanting to feed more often. She slept through with only a small complaint on the first night! If only I had known I'd have shifted her months earlier.
However, despite her happily sleeping with us as a babe she has shown no interest in it since having her own room and does not come in with us except in the morning when she wakes up.
I had not intended to co-sleep, but it was the easiest thing to do at first, I'd had a c-section and just could not get up and down several times a night.
I slept ok, but always very lightly and moved very little when asleep, and I always fed DD when she stirred.

1. Did you actively decide to co-sleep or just sort of fall into it by default?

Fell into it by default, mainly when I discovered that we'd all get an extra hours sleep if I brought DS into the bed for a feed when he first woke in the morning.

1. Do any of you actually get any decent sleep?

Sleep, yes. Decent? Sometimes.

1. If bf, do you feed whenever the babe stirs/wakes/cries etc?

Have always fed on demand at night. However it's much less often now DS is 2. He only feeds at night now when he first comes into our bed (he's in a cot when he goes to sleep in the evening) and in the mornings. Either that or I now feed him in the night without actually waking up, I've not quite worked out which

1. Did you actively decide to co-sleep or just sort of fall into it by default?

Bit of both, started out not co-sleeping but through sheer exhaustion at a baby that would not sleep decided to try co-sleeping and kept it going from about 1 month then gradually got ds into cot (in his own room) from about 9 months.

1. Do any of you actually get any decent sleep?

My ds woke up about every 90 minutes for a bf, I slept in a rigid position (i.e. baby in the crook of my arm, I literally didn't move whilst sleeping so woke up really stiff). So no, no decent sleep but at least I didn't have to get out of bed when he woke for a feed. Neither of us could master feeding lying down however so always had to sit up for a bf.

1. If bf, do you feed whenever the babe stirs/wakes/cries etc?

Not every time, only if he made it clear nothing else was going to do (he had a dummy so had that for sucking comfort as well as me).

I'm glad I co-slept as it was a lovely feeling of closeness and I strongly believe the trauma of my ds's first week of life (EMCS followed by NICU and SCBU and not being able to be cuddled etc. whilst literally lying screaming in incubator) affected his security and he really needed a strong message that his mum was there.

However, I don't think it's a solution to sleepless nights. We only started getting decent sleep when he hit about 10 months (after a really hard slog) and even then decent sleep meant only getting up every 3-4 hours.

Sorry for the essay... :)

I wanted to co-sleep the second time - I figured it was the only way I'd get some sleep. I had a bedside cot (side taken off a normal cot, tied to our bed and rolled up towels on far side of cot mattress) which we used as well as our bed for co-sleeping. I would pop a boob into it for DS, then be able to roll back into my space.

I found the No Cry Sleep Solution really helpful - I stopped feeding so much at night until we cut out night feeds altogether. Basically I think I just rolled over as soon as he'd settled a bit with a feed, it stopped him feeding and feeding and he started to settle more by himself.

My memories of sleep are hazy - our toddler DD was not the best sleeper and she woke us up almost as much as the baby! The bedside cot helped as it meant there was enough space for the four of us in bed. Now they are both in a their own room, one or other may come into bed with us in the night, we hardly notice.

I should add that one reason for co-sleeping was that I hadn't with DD, we had followed all the 'done' way of doing things and she still woke 4 times a night. I figured it would be easier not to get out of bed each time...

We co-sleep (bedshare) with our 2.1yo, it was a deliberate choice because I read that it helps foster security and feeling of 'rightness'/ease in the world. (Hasten to add that I think the most important thing isn't where you sleep but how you treat your child.) Intend to allow child to decide when he wants to move into his own bed/room - will probably get a bed next to ours soon.

I am now used to feeding him in the night without waking up (he usually only feeds once, around 4am), but my husband does wake up. He sometimes sleeps in the other room to catch up on sleep, but doesn't want to stop cosleeping because it's so lovely cuddling our (not very cuddly when he's awake) son, esp when we've missed him in the day.

We have a big bed and a memory foam mattress, which help a lot. Also, I read a lot about sleep and other stuff (e.g. The Continuum Concept) and changed my opinions a lot about sleep. I think we evolved to sleep in groups, and to wake occasionally in the night (to poke the fire/watch for bears/sneak off for a shag). A different mindset helps me enormously. But I appreciate that not everyone feels this would help them.

Dd:

1. by accident, she only fell asleep on my chest and it 'felt right'. Had never heard of co-sleeping til i googled if it was ok.

2.much better sleep

1. she was ff but I fed her on demand

Ds1:

1. by choice
2. FAB sleep, and he was a much better sleeper - own bed at 15mths.
3. bf on demand, he never cried just stirred and i fed him. stopped night feeds at 13mths

Ds2 - just three weeks!

1. co-sleeping by choice/design!!
2. Decent sleep though v early days so v newborn
3. bf on demand

It works for me but tbh i sleep best next to my babies/children. if I didn't I am not sure whether i would though I do think it is what kids are meant to do. As far as i am concerned, if I don't physically get out of bed it counts as full nights sleep

Sorry, I haven't co-slept with either of my DDs, but I have done 'sleep training' although I would never think of it as that!

Both DC are excellent sleepers (DD1 5yo, DD2 almost a year)

I basically did a fairly strict routine with both and it has worked brilliantly. People always comment on how content/happy DDs are!

Sorry not much help re your actual question, but judt wanted to say that you could try and get into a routine and see how it goes.

Good luck

By the way, DDs both slept in our room til 6 months - that doeasn't stop you 'sleep training'. It's just about getting them into a pattern of sleeping (and doing other routine stuff) at the same sort of time each day/night so they become used to it.

1 - DS1 - I wanted to cosleep but DH didn't so we didn't....to start with. However DS1 didn't sleep so we did in the end out of my need to sleep. DS2 and DD we did out of choice (DD is still in with us at 23 months). DH realise that I'm a nicer person on more than 2 hours sleep.

2 Yes, lots more than I would if not cosleeping

3 Yes, she latches herself on most of the times and occasionally launches herself across me which I take to mean she wants to change sides. I lift her over me and go back to sleep.

1. Did you actively decide to co-sleep or just sort of fall into it by default?

Fell into it

1. Do any of you actually get any decent sleep?

Yes much better than when weren't in our bed

1. If bf, do you feed whenever the babe stirs/wakes/cries etc?

Yes easily

co slept with ds as we fell into it - we all got more sleep.

co-slept with dd by choice and got no sleep as she is a very light sleeper and the merest shuffle would wake her. she is now in a cot in her own room and we all sleep much better.

1. Fell into it with DS1 as he was a poor sleeper/ fed a lot at night. By choice with DS2 but pure laziness as he already sleeps well with no encouragement whatsoever from me. He's 18wo and, since 12wo, goes to sleep at 9pm then only wakes for a feed once between 3 and 5 am. So he goes to sleep in his bed, as did DS1 but stays there much longer. When he wakes I grab him, lie down and go back to sleep whilst he feeds. Lovely!

1. Never really with DS1 cos he wouldn't unlatch until v deeply asleep. Sleep better this time as DS2 feeds, spits my nipple out (the cheek), turns away and goes back to sleep!

1. Occasionally try to shush for a bit, sometimes it works . Perfectly happy to feed him though. Night weaned DS1 at 14mo, will probably do similar with DS2 if he's still waking up then.

We chose to co-sleep from birth. DD is 3.9 now and still in with us though she has a bed in her room and sometimes chooses that instead. We all sleep marvellously. When bfed (until 3.4), she just helped herself or I sort of latched her on without really waking.