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Parenting

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Original poster

Older couple 'tuted' and shook heads at my just 3 year old today

19 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 17/02/2011 21:03

I felt terrible.....

I was ignoring a terrible 3 moment in a cafe, trying to pay, baby on my hip. He wasn't doing anything dangerous and was safe, just would leave a door alone.

Just feels crap.....never happened before :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

davidtennantsmistress · 17/02/2011 21:07

don't worry about it mp - tbh they're now the generation who prob think children should be seen and not heard.

SpeedyGonzalez · 17/02/2011 21:08

And they were also myopic if they couldn't see that you were already juggling quite a lot.

Don't take it to heart.

YeahWhatevah · 17/02/2011 21:11

I had similar today, queuing in waitrose, 2 and 3 yos running around the column (as in, touching it at all times, running in a circle, not running aorund the shop), enjoying themselves, laughing, in no ones way. Old couple in next door queue tuting away.

Just so you know it's not only you, all them older ones tutting away at the toddlers everywhere they go, it gives 'em something to live for

[exaggeration, but you know what I mean]

Chin up

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Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 17/02/2011 21:12

Thanks ladies, I guess I took it as a "you need to be a better parent.....or what a horrid chid".....

he is lovely, just bloody hard work atm!

OP posts:

Ormirian · 17/02/2011 21:12

They tutted? The bastards!

davidtennantsmistress · 17/02/2011 21:14

tbh I think they forget they were kids or their kids were that age once - and lets be fair here at just 3 your LO is still really just a baby. :)

thisisyesterday · 17/02/2011 21:16

i once thought an old lady was glaring and tutting at my children in M&S cafe once
as she got up to leave she came over and i was really scared.

then she said "i just wanted to say how well behaved your children are" lol

so... you know, sometimes those looks aren't as bad as you think they are :)

CasaBevron · 17/02/2011 21:19

It's amazing how quickly people forget what it's like to have a 'terrible' 3 year old, isn't it? Or how quick people are to judge if they've never had kids.

I used to belong to the latter group. I am now 37+4 with no 2, and the proud mother of a previously angelic 3 year old who has chosen in the last few weeks to transform into the sort of child you would quite happily walk away and leave tantrumming in the cereal aisle in Tesco while you calmly continue with your shopping, all the while pretending that you've never met her in your life. (Disclaimer - I haven't actually done this, but boy have I fantasised about doing it )

I dare anyone to even look at me or my child the wrong way in one of these situations at the moment, as I am so hormonal and angry (I'm having a boy - don't know if it's the testosterone or what!) most of the time that they are likely to get much more than they bargained for if they so much as give out even the slightest whiff of disapproval!

You have my sympathy

fedupofnamechanging · 17/02/2011 21:21

Miserable fuckers. Ignore them

SpeedyGonzalez · 17/02/2011 21:23

Brits can be so up their own arses when they see children enjoying themselves. It's a national sport. People in many other countries don't seem to get this, they actually delight in children having fun. Tut.

mamasmissionimpossible · 17/02/2011 21:26

Where we live we are surrounded by these tutting grannies. When my 3 year old dd kicks off I just want the ground to swallow me up. Sympathy from me. It does get better, ds (5) has mostly grown out of the serious meltdowns.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 17/02/2011 21:29

I have to admit, like you CasaBevron I could have quite easily have left him at the cafe! Sadly we moved on to the GP's where he had a fit screaming that this brother was going to be 'hurt' by the doctor giving him his jabs..... his brother on the other hand didn't make a peep as the needle went in......how on earth am I going to get him to his 3 year old boosters now!?

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 17/02/2011 21:31

Gits! I get really annoyed with this. You are doing your best, trying to socialise your kids so they can practice 'being in a cafe without being disruptive' and all people can do is tut.

Mostly mine are great, and the trick is to go to the same place again and again so the staff get to know the kids and also so the kids get to know the routine. I've had the staff at my local M&S cafe tell off old busybodies who are tutting.

But I've also had lovely comments from some people and have heard a lot of laughing when I've answered DD's bizarre questions (like: mummy, is that a dragon behind the counter - not meaning the serving lady, but the machine that makes the coffee).

Acanthus · 17/02/2011 21:33

Well if he was banging the door it might have been annoying them. And you didn't like his behaviour much, so why should they?

usualsuspect · 17/02/2011 21:35

I tutted on the bus at some schoolkids today [older person]

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 17/02/2011 21:45

Acanthus I am well aware of that....thanks

A really good idea about keeping going to the same places whomovedmychocolate, the staff were really lovely.

I even asked for a dust pan and brush for my BLW baby and they insisted they did it, really sweet staff.

OP posts:

aPixie · 17/02/2011 23:17

My friend was tutted at in the supermarket once. They muttered under their breath something about children should be seen and not heard.

The poor kid had only asked if he could have some satsuma's please mummy.

petisa · 18/02/2011 00:28

I know it's so annoying. I used to live in Spain but am now back in UK, and the other day when I was in a cafe with two toddlers and two babies and some people were staring and cat bum mouthing a bit every time there was a shriek, it dawned on me that I had never had a stare, frown of disapproval, tut or cat bum mouth the whole time I was living in Spain.

Gonzo33 · 18/02/2011 05:44

When my eldest was 3 he once threw an absolute strop (atomic bomb stylee) because I wouldn't let him have a McD's (he had been to his Dad's the weekend and that is all his Dad ever used to feed him) so I left him standing there stomping his feet and screaming. Walked 10 yards down the street and stood where I could see him and he couldn't see me (it's the only thing that used to get him out of it). Everyone in the street could see what I was doing, but a woman walked up to him trying to give him chocolate to calm him down, and when I approached and said "What are you doing, this is him learning I am not a pushover" she gave me a mouthful because he was having a tantrum in the street. God forbid a three year old has a tantrum.

We are currently living in Cyprus and the attitude could not be more different.

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