Please advice on DS change of behaviour

[preciousmum]

Hi there.
My DS is 5 and half in reception.he's very mature and well behaved,i noticed that he hang arround with the same group of friend at school,when he's talking to me about them,and their caracter,he mentioned that one of them hasn't got very good manners that you mummy would be proud of him,and i didn't say nothing about him,though still play with him.For the last few weeks he's teacher mentioned that my son's behaviour became distruptive but not naughty.Also we useally walk holding hands,and recently he wants to walk alone ,and running and making funny loud voices while going or coming back from school,which i couldn't tolerate,i am worried that if i let it go,he might get into some sort of antisocial behaviour habits.I am really confused ,is it normal? or should i correct him everytime he did something that is anusual about him?at the same time iam worried that i am over reacting,and i don't wants to be a controling mum.Please advice iam in real dilema about what is acceptable and what is not? PS; SORRY ENGLISH is not my first language.).

We've had the same problem with my dd (5) copying the behaviour of other children... particularly children whose behaviour we are not very happy with.
It's a difficult question. At present I just ignore that behaviour. She is still so young and she is just trying out different types of behaviour. The most important way out of this situation - as I see it - is for her to have sufficient self confidence/self esteem to choose her behaviour for herself and not copy other children because she feels she will not be accepted by them if she acts "herself" and not like them.
I fear that if I start criticising her now or correcting this behaviour, it will be bad for her self confidence and will have the opposite effect of what I am trying to achieve. She will feel rejected by me, but accepted by her peers for her "new behaviour". Then she will distance herself from me and become more dependent on them for affirmation and reassurance.
So, my idea is to just accept her however she behaves, neither praise her for behaving as I wish, nor criticise her for behaving as others do. Then she can hopefully learn to choose the best way of behaving for herself. And the closer the relationship we have, the more she will watch me as a role model.
It sounds as if your son does feel very close to you and does use you as a reference regarding behaviour - he said that you would not approve of his friends behaviour, so he is trying to look at things through your eyes. Just support him in doing that by being loving and uncritical.
I'm not sure if this is the best way forward - but it's my thinking at present! I'll be interested to see what other people write!

Thanks simic.It was nice to hear your view.today he was an angel.the minute he left school today,said to me that he was very very good boy,and he was listening.recently when we are at librery,he wants to ran not walk,which iam not happy about,but no listening.
when we arrived home i explained that poeple are reading and working ,so it has to be a quiet place,but still you can run on the way back home or in the park,and i was very calm explaining.So today after school we went to the librery,and the minute we stept in i asked,what do we have to do? he said NO runing,and he didn't run.I was so surprise.I think he does co-operate better,when i comment about something later,not when we are still tense.So i will try to keep trying and we'll see.

That sounds great!
All the best!