When to have baby number 2

[Velma75]

My LO is 6 months old and I am thinking about a brother or sister for him. I am 35 and I am very aware of my biological clock ticking v loudly in my ear. I read that you should leave it 12-18 months before having number 2 but I do want to start trying for a baby soon. Am I wrong?

Ooh, I've been wondering about this too!

Sorry to hijack, but I was also curious as to what people had found to be a good age gap? - a few people have said 3 years - does anyone have any opinions?

2.7 years between my two. Dd is the elder, and we've never had any problems. She was young enough to accept it and understand it, but not old enough to feel pushed out.

IMVHO.

I have a (planned) 18 month age gap, it's great but also very intense for the first couple of years. DC can generally be interested in similar games and outings which is is a major bonus.

Sleepless nights and nappy phases over very quickly.

I have a planned 21mth gap between my girls.

The first few months were tricky but it gets better quickly.

They are now 2.5 and 9mths and its lovely seeing them together. They adore each other and are always so pleased to see each other.
DD2 is now crawling and nicking DD1's toys which is causing some drama but nothing major.

Having them close together means they are able to share toys and DD1 doesnt have anything too small really for me to worry about.
As they grow they will also be into the same kinda things.

Now DD2 is 9mths im already thinking about how big the next age gap should be

planned 22 month gap here - v hard work at first but sleepless nights/nappies stage over much quicker that way, and the children now play together beautifully.

my age was one of the motivating factors (ie we knew we wanted a second and didn't want to risk not being able to conceive) - but we also wanted kids who were close in age.

no age gap is perfect. if you're broody then go for it?

2.7 age gap here and so far its ok, dd adored ds from the very beginning, also dd was pretty much a 'little person" by then so that helped massively

there are benefits of having them closer in age, but for me having that time with dd before her brother was born was invaluable and hopefully made her feel very secure by the time he arrived

however, if you are broody now just do it!

oh god take all that back, WW3 going on in playroom and

We're thinking of trying again from April and we have a 5 month old DS. After 1st labour consultant said medically no reason why you can't have baby whenever, but womens health physio advised 12 months from a muscle recovery point of view. I had forceps with DS and a pretty crap time so have been told can have a c section with no. 2 which has prob made me ok to try again earlier than might have done from a body recovery point of view.

Part of me thinks in for a penny, in for a pound attitude - you might as well get the baby bit done close together part if time isn't on your side. Friends have told me having kids is like hangovers - the older you are, the more tiring it can be to cope with lack of sleep etc.

Thank you all for your replies. I am a newbie on here and your messages have really given me a lift.
Had a hideous birth with DS which resulted in c-section but all that pales into insignificance when I see his beautiful face.
My sister is getting married in April so I may hold off trying until the wedding is over but after that look out OH!!!

(wine) all round especially to Wilkos!!

Don't hold off, get to it! It will take a month or two anyway.

Mmm, I'd start the month that gives you the smallest age gap you'd want. It's not predictable at all - took over a year to conceive DC1 and was pregnant at the first try for DC2. I was still BF too. I'm glad we waited.

I have been told/have read that your body ideally should have 12-18 months between pregnancies to fully recover and get back to normal before you get pregnant again. So that's a factor too.

I also agree with HettyAmaretti about the unpredictability of trying to conceive - I got pregnant 1st month of trying with my DS but have now been trying for 6 months with no luck to conceive again. At this point I don't care what the age gap will be - I just want to get pregnant again!

I was hoping to have a close gap between dc but ended up with a gap that was almost 3 years - really don't like it. They are only young (5 and 2) so hopefully it will be better when they are older but for now, it's not fun.

Whilst they do adore each other most of the time, the differences in what they can do and understand usually end up in somebody getting upset or hurt at the end of things. Little one wants to keep up with the older one, but physically can't. Older one gets frustrated with little one and considers himself to be his third parent and tries to tell him what to do. Both want to play with the same toy at exactly the same time having both ignored it for ages.

Can be OK - at the moment ds2 is happy to spend time watching his big bro playing games on the cbeebies website or wii, will be horrible when he wants to play too. Or when ds1 reads to ds2 at night after they've been put to bed, ds2 climbs into bed with ds1 and a big pile of books... most of the time he will get back into his own bed to go to sleep, not least as ds1 falls asleep first but very sweet to find them curled up asleep together!

Why do you need to leave 12-18 months? What were the reasonings in what you read?

Just wondering as there's going to be an 11/12 month age gap between DD and DC2!

19 month aga-gap between mine.

In retrospect it was very hard work (but that may have been more to do with DS's personality), but they are very close and all the stages over within a short time.

bump