Please help me!

[ClarasMummy]

Have posted before about sleep troubles with DD but nothing seems to have worked.
She point blank refuses to sleep in her own bed/room and gets hysterical if I try to make her. DH and I haven't shared a bed in 2 months and I also have a six week old DS who keeps DH up while I'm up with DD.

Please help, we're all so tired and I'm thoroughly fed up. Do I just leave her to cry, she will be 3 in May and this can't go on.

Thanks in advance.

Oh you poor thing.

I would say you've got to bite the bullet one way or another. It is so hard with two children.

Have you tried reward chart/ promise of chocolate if she sleeps all night in her bed? Probably you have...and if you have you will be really really irritated by someone saying 'have you tried'....!

If you've tried reasoning and it doesn't work I would say yes, leave her to it and if she gets up and comes downstairs then put her back as many times as it takes.

Has this all started since just before the new baby arrived? Wondering if that's linked in some way. My DD started having tantrums at bedtime and waking very very early when her brother arrived - it was hell on earth, so you have my sympathies.

Do you close the door at bedtime? Could this be the problem? We had problems with DS1 when he was put in a bed and consequently we bought a portable stair gate and put it on his door at bedtime. It meant that if he didn't want to lie down, he could wander around his room. At first he stood crying at it but we stood solid for about 20 minutes before reacting(it was hard to do and doesn't suit everyone). However, it actually didn't take long to get him used to staying in his room and then the gate was removed. It was never much of a problem with DS2 & 3 because we put them all in the same room to sleep and they just followed suit.

Have you asked her why she doesn't want to sleep in her own bedroom?

aww she is only small still isn't she?

I would't leave her to it. if she is very distressed that will only make it worse.
I would probably try some kind of gradual withdrawal method whereby you sit with her in HER room until she is asleep. then you gradually move the place you sit in until you're at the door, then just outside the door, then you can hopefully be able to just potter about outside

if she takes well to you just sitting with her you can try the "i need the toilet i'll be right back" trick. ad just leave literally for about 20 second and come back in... teach her that when you go you ALWAYS come back. you can then gradually increase the time you're out of the room for- it may help if you talk to her, or make lots of noise so she knows you are still upstairs with her

I was in exactly the same position 3 weeks ago.

I bribed rewarded my DD3 with a Jessie cow Girl Doll, if she could sleep in her own bed for two weeks. She did it and now the problem is solved, I have even put her little 5.5 month old sister in with her and her 18 month old brother.

The Jessie cost me £32 but it was worth the money.

I got into this bribery reward thing when my DD could not pass urine due to a UTI. The doctor in A & E said I was to do anything to get her to do it. I lured her with a Barbie Doll that I had wrapped for Xmas, it worked.

I made a huge fuss, telling everyone about it, including ballet teachers , grandparents dentists, everyone and told them what the plan with the Doll was. Then when it started, I made sure that we told everyone how good and grown up she was being.

It helps if you can actually take them to see the reward and introduce the idea when it is there in front of them, loads of hype. Might have to be a biggy like a bike to get them out of your bed, but bloody hell its worth it to get your bed back.

When the day came she was overcome with excitement and pride.

Also, we put this big pink heart lamp next to her bed, and made her bedroom really exciting, lots of pink and glitter etc.

yes leave her to cry

Has she always been like this or is it recent?