neighbour's child is really distressed

[babymutha]

My lovely neighbour is having lots of problems... she is out of her comfort zone in a foreign country and alien culture, she is still having terrible pains after the birth of her 2nd child 8 months ago, financial problems etc. But she is a lovely woman. She used to 'beat' her nearly 2 year old because she was just exhausted and couldn't cope, we spoke about it, and now she says she locks her in her room until she calms down instead (she also said how much she hated beating her DD but she was desperate). I hear her DD screaming and really distressed (although I KNOW she hears mine doing the same thing when I tell her to stand in the corner) - it's just that her daughter's screaming goes on for a lot longer and is much more frequent. Do I just butt out? Or do I try and give her some advice? I don't have to look after a small baby as well and the poor woman is obviously at the end of her tether. I wish I could help more, but have health issues of my own to deal with. Any constructive advice? thanks

That sounds like a horrible situation! I honestly don't know what to suggest! Hopefully someone else will soon.

can you persuade her to contact social services and ask for some support?

or are there local organisations to help?

don't know where she's fron but are there any groups she can join that will help to acclimatise (sp?)

I'm sure she is lovely if you say she is, but beating her not yet 2 year old child and locking her in her room for god knows how long cannot be allowed to go on. She needs help.

Have you got a health visitor you could mention it to?
Or, is there way you could set her up with a support network of friends - like going to sure start with her until she establishes some friends.

You know, on those supernanny programmes etc where the mum's can't cope, it often seems to be that they are suffering from some sort of depression themselves.
It might be worth talking to her about her own feelings of isolation stress etc. with a nudge towards her getting herself some help.

You need to get your neighbour - and more importantly her daughter - some help. There is no excuse for beating and locking up a very young child. You cannot stand by while this happens!! I am so angry just reading this post. Yes I'm sure you can tell I was beaten as a child and if my neighbours had done something I wouldn't have been as damaged (not just physically). This is child abuse - make no mistake about that!

Yes mum is tired and yes she is in pain but she cannot take it out on her very young daughter who probably loves her mum very much and is wondering why she is doing this to her - absolutely heartbreaking!