Discipline of a not quite 2 year old...

[AliGrylls]

DS1 is 20 months and is really quite boisterous (I expect nothing less from him). I think DH and I need to start disciplining him because he has started to be deliberately naughty.

However, both DH and I are so rubbish at discipline it is untrue. We have started doing time out but I find it really hard because I don't enjoy leaving him to cry. I would prefer to do something that was instant and then it is over with. However, all other forms of discipline he laughs at us. When I tell him off he laughs and one time when he started hitting his brother (who is only 3 months) I slapped him on the back of his hand and he started laughing.

I am curious to know what other people do and how I can stop him from laughing. It seems so hard to get right.

I'm in the same boat. My son is 18 months and seems to have turned into a little horror overnight. He knows when he's doing something he should t because he'll look at us right before he does as if he's making sure we're watching and as soon as one of us makes a move toasted him he runs. He also laughs when he gets told off and he just doesn't seem to pay any attention, I can tell him a thousand times and he'll pay no heed.

We've started doing time outs and I agree it's so hard when they're crying but it's the only thing that is starting to show some sign of working and it'll pay off when it starts taking hold. When I put him in time out I tell him why he's going, sit him in his corner on the naughty mat (we have a cheap red door mat so that the naughty area can go to nana's, etc), and after that I don't speak to him or make eye contact. He sometimes gets up and runs off and I found that if I spoke or looked at him then he'd laugh thinking it was a game but if I just stay silent and bring him back without looking at him then he's not getting additional attention. Once he's done his time I tell him again why he was there and get a hug then he can go.

We've also started taking toys away and stopping him from doing things he likes but it has to be an instant thing. If he's naughty at the shops he won't understand me taking his train away when we get home but if we're at home and he throws the train at the window, I take it away from him and put it on the mantle shelf so he can't play with it. I tell him why it's been taken away and usually I get a few tears and a few "choo choo please"'s but it stays there until the next day (when he gets it back I tell him again why it was taken away). If he's watching CBeebies and works himself, the TV goes off. He had some Buttons yesterday and decided to melt them in his hands and then rub them all over the sofa, he wasn't happy when I took him in the kitchen and put the remainder of the packet in the bin.

Stick at it, he'll get the message eventually.

Watching with interest - DS is only 16mo but I can see we will need to introduce discipline soon. At the moment 'no' and removing him is all that's needed but I can see soon we'll need something else!

DD is 3 - we started doing 'stand in the corner and think about it' when she started being horrific 2 year old. (As described in the Secrets of Happy Children by Steven Biddulph)- kind of like time out but if your child is ready to do the right thing they can come out straight away.... It was tough coz it started off as a game, and she thought it was funny and didn't get it, but 1 year on and SHE ABSOLUTELY HATES THE CORNER. She knows it means her behaviour is not on but it means that she has control and has to reflect on what she's done and how to make it better. She still howls like a loony (and kicks and screams sometimes too) if she has to go to the corner but she knows the answer is in her hands; If she behaves/ says sorry/ puts the toys back/whatever then she can come out and the day continues. I think it's a lot more empowering to the child than time out - it is not so much a punishment as enforced reflection... it doesn't work so well with a 2yo, but with repetition and consistency the message soon gets through (although you have to be much more explicit about what 'the right thing to do' is - e.g. "you go and calm down in the corner and when you're ready to say sorry to mummy for hitting her you can come out" 30 seconds later "are you ready to say sorry to mummy?")Good luck... they change SO quickly at this age... it is mind blowing.

oh yeah and I'm totally with ladyintheradiator - distracting and modelling equally if not more important at their age - it's when you realise THEY know that they're crossing a line and it's SO important to tell them where that line is or they just get really confused.