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Parenting

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Original poster

Ill kids and taking time off work, you or dh/dp?

16 replies

DrNortherner · 14/02/2011 09:23

DS is ill. Last week he had a day off school due to D&V. I did that one. In fact, tis always me who takes the day off.

However, ds is ill again. This time flu/temp/ear infection/now energy/loss of apetite etc and I think it will be more than 1 day off school.

I mentioned this to dh and he says he can't take time off His boss is a twat who seems to think men shouldn't be off work for ill kids - that's the womans job.

His argument is he works full time and is main wage earner, I only work 4 days 9am to 3pm....

What do you guys do?

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CMOTdibbler · 14/02/2011 09:24

We share, depending on who has ther greater deadline/commitments

reddaisy · 14/02/2011 09:27

I work four full days and DP is full time, we negotiate and last time I went in late one day and DP had a half day and did the afternoon shift.

It usually depends who can do it depending on how busy our jobs are on that day. We both accrue lieu time in our jobs that is handy for such situations but I realise that isn't always possible. I certainly wouldn't always do it as my career is just as important as his, even if DP does earn more than me!

Original poster

DrNortherner · 14/02/2011 09:32

See I work in an office so can catch up at other times. Dh is a chef and busy every day and it has a huge impact on the team if he doesn't go in......

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elphabadefiesgravity · 14/02/2011 09:33

In the week it is me who takes time off as dh is away and he doesn;t get paid if he doesn;t go in.

At weekends (I work Friday night and Saturday morning) it is dh as I am self employed at weekends

mousymouse · 14/02/2011 09:36

we share. dh can work from home so we would arrange that I go to work a bit earlier and come home a bit earlier as well and then he goes locks himself into the study to work.

allmyfavouritethings · 14/02/2011 13:21

Unfortunately its usually me, and its caused a lot or tension between us in the past!!
We both have responsible (in the sense that people are relying on us)jobs, but DP ddoes earn twice as much as me and in his role he is the 'only' one, in my team we all do fairly similar jobs so work can be delegated out (should say that I also cover for others and am happy to do so i these types of circumstances).

This very issue has arisen where I work recently and my Manager said she would 'expect' my DP to take an equal share of the cover, I have said that this is simply not possible, I am however happy to take any leave for DS illness as holiday, am not expecting to be paid for not being there!!

MarthaFarquhar · 14/02/2011 13:26

almost always DH
my job is appointment based and i run my own diary, so i find it easier to do hospital appointments, nativity etc
so in return DH picks up the sickness, as his work can more easily be passed onto another member of the team.

bettydraperswardrobeelf · 14/02/2011 16:59

Usually DH. I work in operating theatres and my absence from the team is a real disruption whereas DH does a desk based job and can do a fair bit of his job from home. Causes some tension at his work though, as while his boss is very understanding, his colleagues aren't so much

CPtart · 14/02/2011 17:24

We face off - dressed, and ready for work until one of us backs down!

2cats2many · 14/02/2011 17:26

We split it depending on who is most able to do it on the day (workload, meetings, etc).

reddaisy · 14/02/2011 19:43

CPTart - that sounds tense!!

cory · 14/02/2011 20:23

We have done a lot of this over the years as both dcs have a chronic condition. It's a constant juggle to see who would be least missed on any one day. Fortunately, dh's boss is understanding and dh makes a point of always having a few days "to his credit" (he is not allowed to take overtime pay due to his contract, so has to take it in lieu). Quite a relief now dcs have got to an age where they can actually be left if they're not too bad.

pointythings · 14/02/2011 20:46

We share - DH works payroll so if it's a payroll week then it's me as I can work from home, but he definitely does his bit. It helps that he is in the US system and can use sick leave to take care of ill children.

My manager is fine with me working from home as long as I keep in touch and make sure that any days I have to be in the office/out at conferences are covered by contingency plans well in advance.

mitochondria · 14/02/2011 20:50

Husband - he designs websites and can work from home at a push.

I'm a teacher - I can't.

pikachu999 · 14/02/2011 20:52

Depends what work commitments we have, but we usually take it in turns one day at a time. We can both work from home, which is fine if it's DD (age 6) who's ill but harder if it's DS1 (3) or DS2 (1).

I would not be happy if it was always me even though DH earns more and is FT and i'm PT. I usually do the first day as my job is more flexible, then DH the next and so on...

mercibucket · 14/02/2011 20:55

depends who's up and out quickest! I leave before 7 two days a week so if kids are ill, it's up to dh to stay at home. I only have to be in 2 days a week and can work at home on the third day so the pressure isn't too great though. we also have childminders/friends/family on standby sometimes

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