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worried about my friend...

7 replies

itshightidebaby · 12/02/2011 00:33

Hi this might be quite long so i apologise in advance.

my friend is 21 and has a 3 year old and a 4 week old. she is a single parent and both kids have different dads. i am getting really worried that she isnt coping. i went round to visit the other day and the house was filthy. she has a rottweiler dog and it had done its business in the living room and it hadnt been cleaned up...the 3 year old was actually stamping in it because he found it funny. the house was really smelly and they all looked tired and completely run down. she has house parties every weekend whilst both the kids are there and there is drug taking going on the house too - they post pics of themselves snorting stuff on facebook. the 3 year old is covered in bruises, bite marks and scratch marks from where the dog has attacked him. my friend actually tells the dog to attack the little boy because she finds it funny when the 3 year old torments it. i was shocked. the 4 week old obviously is oblivious to all this but the dog was standing staring at the moses basket and im scared of whats going to happen. the dog is dangerous and has actually went to attack my 2 year old before...i had to pull the dog away and it weighs 8 stone so it was difficult. she has recently got back in tow with an ex boyfriend of hers who is a really nasty peice of work. ive known him for years and a few months ago he was up in court for knocking his ex girlfriend unconcious because she wanted to leave his house - he found this funny. he is a known drug dealer and im scared that he has drugs in her house when the children are around. if they find them then god knows what will happen.

I dont know what to do. im scared to phone the social incase she finds out it was me and to be honest im also scared to say anything to her incase she thinks im being nosy. Im genuinley concerned for all of them and i know i should stick by my friends etc but i just dont think she has a clue what she is doing.

my other friend is 18 and just doesnt care about herself or her daughter at all. she admitted (loudly) in a local bus station that there are 8 potential fathers for her daughter and that she doesnt care which on it is because they are all on the dole and she wont get anything from the CSA. she has had the social involved with her before because of some unexplained injuries on the kid. she managed to keep her child but i dont know what explanation she gave. she told me that she had no idea how it happened. She has house parties (again) every single night of the week and its all young teenagers (13/14yo) that she lets into her flat for parties. she also took her 7 month old daughter to the cinema to see harry potter when her child was just out of hospital with bronchitis. as far as i was aware you werent allowed to take babies into a cinema with you. again i dont know what to do.

if you were in my situation would you contact social services or just stay out of it?

please dont have a go at me for posting this.

OP posts:
rodformyownback · 12/02/2011 06:57

Hightide you know what you have to do. You must go to social services about your friend with 2 children. This is terrible neglect and these children are at risk of very serious harm. Why on earth should you "stick by" your friend? Compare the potential consequences:

Telling social services - your friend will not be your friend
Not telling - her children remain in an abusive situation. Their lives are at risk.

Get a grip. Ring social services today.

IngridBergmann · 12/02/2011 07:03

Oh Jesus you know what you have to do.

If even half of this stuff is really happening then the children are at serious risk.

Do you want to PM one of us the details and we can do it for you?

You HAVE to do something, these poor kids don't have the power to get help for themselves. Someone has to do it for them; they need you to do this.

Sorry x

IngridBergmann · 12/02/2011 07:04

First situation is more worrying imo than the second. But only just.

Buda · 12/02/2011 07:09

No choice. Social services. If anything happened to those children you would never forgive yourself.

lukewarmmama · 12/02/2011 07:11

If this is for real, then you already know the answer by the fact you felt compelled to post.

IngridBergmann · 12/02/2011 07:12

and even if they survive this appalling situation, they are suffering in it every single day.

This is already damaging them. You have to stop it NOW.

asdx2 · 12/02/2011 07:18

You know what you need to do phone them and get help for the children. Should there be a tragedy you will never forgive yourself.You can make an anonymous call if you have to but your friend would never find out it was you if you left your name. Do it now.

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