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Original poster

The birds and the bees!

26 replies

Jolie · 09/09/2003 20:50

Can anyone help me with the delicate art of sex education?! My dd is 6 and very inquisitive (good characteristic I know) and is not easily fobbed off with a rubbish answer. She knows how babies get out, has a basic understanding of periods having seen the tampons in the bathroom, but is now asking how babies get in your tummy. So far she knows they grow from a seed but says how weird it is that you can just wish for a baby seed and you get one. "It must get in there somehow mummy" she says frequently. Can anyone recommend how I go about answering her questions without totally freaking her out, or suggest a book that may be handy.

OP posts:
FairyMum · 09/09/2003 21:07

How about the truth? Daddy puts his willy into mummy and that's how you make babies. That's what I told my dd (I think she was 5), and she accepted that. I think you only confuse them with all this birds and the bees stuff.....

I think they probably have books on it in the library too.

judetheobscure · 09/09/2003 21:09

There's a fantastic book by Babette Cole I think called "When Mummy Laid an Egg" (Again, I think). Although aimed at the younger age range it's a humorous (hilarious) intro with some lovely cartoony ills of mummy and daddy "doing the necessary". That could lead to a more serious discussion. I read the book (it was thoughfully provided by the holiday cottage we stayed in) to my dd (age 7) and the boys (6, 3, 1) and they didn't blink an eyelid or ask any questions - I've been meaning to find a copy and give it another go.

ForestFly · 09/09/2003 21:13

Alchohol

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ANGELMOTHER · 09/09/2003 21:28

Definitely "Mummy laid an Egg"......Babette Cole. Check your local library, not only is it informative but simple, very well illustrated and incredibly funny esp Mummy and Daddy on a space hopper. I would also say it's perfect for your dd's age.

Lollypop · 09/09/2003 22:07

A really good book or video is 'Where did I come from?'. Its possibly early 80's but excellent at explaining 'reproduction' to little ones (primary). I found a copy at a car bootsale and the local heath ed. unit had the video.
It goes through the differences between males & females and how babies are made, its really cute.

WideWebWitch · 09/09/2003 22:44

Jolie, I would tell her the truth too and I agree, Mummy Laid an Egg is very good I think, for a simple and honest explanation. I read an article today saying that children really do want their sex education from their parents as and when they become curious but instead often end up getting it at school at 9 or 10 and being confused in the years in between. I told my ds at about 4/5 I think, when he started asking about it. Once I'd explained (brief details, egg, seed, mummy and daddy) he said "Oh, is it like animals mating?" because he'd seen various wildlife programmes. He was interested too as I'm pregnant (he's nearly 6yo now) and he wanted a brother or sister but understood that "I'm not allowed to be there when you're making the brother or sister am I, because it's private?"

CAM · 10/09/2003 12:13

Cor what a clever grown-up ds you have www, my dd age 6 has asked the how does the seed get there question but I am too old-fashioned (and cowardly) to tell her the whole story yet. I have said it happens when a mummy and daddy love each other. I know its dodging the issue.

Original poster
Jolie · 10/09/2003 20:33

CAM, I feel just like you!Fairymum, I do want to tell the truth, just wanted some tips, and the birds and the bees was just a title to get the subject matter across!
I will have a look in the local bookshop tomorrow for the Babette Cole book, and just bite the bullet and go for it!
Thanks all for your suggestions.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 10/09/2003 20:57

The Babette Cole book is lovely - I would recommend it too.

DS1 knows about babies growing in Mummy's tummy (he was nearly 5 when DS2 was born) and he knows the baby is half Daddy and half Mummy, and comes from the Mummy's egg and the Daddy's sperm. But, bless him, he has never asked how the sperm meets up with the egg. When he does, I'll tell him.

My friend told her 6 year old daughter about how Mummy and Daddy, when they want a baby, do a special lying down cuddle in bed..that night she pitched up in their bedroom at around midnight and announced "I'd like to see you do the special cuddle now, please!"

rainbow · 12/09/2003 14:22

I bet your dd knows more than you think. Honesty is the best policy. My DS1 was 6 when ds2 was born and I had all the questions how did he get there. I tried very hard to explain and DS1 listened very intently, "Oh he said you mean sex, Mum"

codswallop · 12/09/2003 14:24

I agree with fairy MUmm. Having just had a baby I tell it how it is - baby comes out of a hole like a big poo.... and that it hurts but is worth it. tell them as you are doing something else so they can talk about something els if they get bored!!

I have also done sex ed with teenagers and I think that being homest from the word go is a big plus.

zebra · 12/09/2003 15:15

Can anyone tell me how to explain to the neighbour's 6 year old what a tampon is for? I told her to ask her mother, but I suspect mother (in this case) won't know either.

sunchowder · 12/09/2003 21:17

I told my DH it was a firecracker, but she was just 3 then and that was 6 years ago. I am just no use here...

sunchowder · 12/09/2003 21:18

I meant DD, not DH--but I am not sure he would know what it was anyway.....

Original poster
Jolie · 12/09/2003 22:58

On the subject of tampons and periods, this is how myself (and a couple of friends) did it: When mums have babies, the baby needs to get food to grow in the mums tummy. They get that in a mixture of blood. Mummy's tummy is always ready in case a baby starts to grow in there but if one doesn't the blood has to come out. It comes out of the same hole that babies come out of. But you don't want to get your knickers dirty you use either sanitary towels or a tampon which is like cotton wool and you put it in the hole to soak up the blood and then flush it down the loo. Its also worth emphasising that its not like when you cut yourself and draw blood if you've got a daughter like mine who hates the very thought of bleeding.

BTW went and got Mummy laid an egg, daughter read it (I can read it myself mummy ) and got a "so thats how you get them. Funny the mum and dad didn't know but the children did"!!
Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
mieow · 13/09/2003 07:20

In a womans magazine recently a lady said that "mummy laid a egg" was too grown up for children!! I haven't read it yet but seeing that you all recommend it I will get it for DS who is asking how babies get into your tummy and why don't I have one in there now!!

samACon · 22/09/2003 22:33

Thank you very much for this thread. I've been searching for a book to help me explain things to my 5 year old DS for a while. Bought Mummy laid an egg on your recommendations, and it is perfect! Showed it to my mum and she thought it was hilarious, don't know how MIL will react though! Kids love it as well, had a fight tonight over which one gets it in bed!

ks · 22/09/2003 22:53

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samACon · 22/09/2003 23:18

KS, thats why I wanted a book. He started asking questions I wanted to answer, but I didn't know how to start. Where the baby is now is easy - at 8 months gone, its difficult to miss, and even how it gets out wasn't a problem, but when he wanted to know how it got in there to start with I needed a bit of support. I didnt want to fudge the issue, but I didn't want to give him an o'level biology lecture either.

Cam · 23/09/2003 10:04

One other point I thought I'd make on here is that I have no qualms about telling my 6 year old dd that I'll tell her more when she's older, if she asks questions I'm not totally happy about answering. I don't think children have to be told everything just because they ask I do think we can "censor" our answers like we censor everything else for them. She accepts that in the same way as she accepts that she can't do certain things until she's older. I would rather say that than tell her something untruthful.

beetroot · 23/09/2003 10:07

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PocketTasha · 31/10/2004 22:05

Does Anyone have any advice for how to explain to a over inquisitive 3 year old how babies get out of mummies tummy? I have always been honest with him, judging his levels as we go along. He is ahead of himself. I was all prepared for questions about how the baby got in! Didn't expect how will he get out! He's convinced it's about my belly button. I've told him now what belly buttons are about. That its how babies get there food when they are in their mums tummy. So now he wants to know how his brother will get out... i told him that i will tell him. i jus need tp think about it first. But i am going to run out of time... Any suggestions? please remember he has only just turned three last week!

kkgirl · 31/10/2004 22:10

I would just tell him in simple terms where the baby comes from. I wouldn't go into much detail and see if he is happy with that.

lydialemon · 31/10/2004 22:22

DSs were 3 and 5 when I had DD and IU had the same thing. DS1 came up to me and said 'well she can't come out of your bellybutton, thats silly' I want to point out that I had never even mentioned belly buttons, so I think DSs had been talking about it together! We had a sit down and a little talk, and I pointed out that they have a little hoole for wee to come out and a little hole for poo to come out, and mummies have a special hole for babies to come out as well. They seem content with this, although smartarse DS1 has put it together with the Babette Cole book and realises that must be how the seeds get in as well!!

WestCountryLass · 31/10/2004 22:31

My DS wanted to know how the baby would come out as well and I told him about the special hole too. when I was PG I was on the loo and he came in and crouched down right in front of me and waved and said he was waving at baby through the spcecial hole :-o

BTW, kids seem to accept far more than we give them credit for. I had DD at home and when DS heard the baby vry he came in and DD was just born, still attached by the umbilical cord and he sat on the bed next to me and did not bat an eyelid, said hello to baby, kissed her hand and legged it back downstairs to go on the Thomas scooter his sister had given him.