Removing Parental Responsibility

[MoonGirl1981]

I'm divorced.

It'll be five years in March since my ex saw/spoke to my son.

I know through the grapevine that he's remarried and has two children. He tells anyone who'll listen that my gorgeous little boy 'isn't his'.

Dodged CSA and all of that malarchy, so only had sporadic payments from him.

I have a hideous fear that if anything ever happened to me that my son would be sent off to live with my ex.

I have a new partner (been together 6 years) who my son calls dad and he's very close to my parents.

I want to have parental responsibility removed from my ex and given to either my partner or my mum.

Can I do this? Has anyone else done this? And if so, how?

Thank you!

xxxx

There was a programme on BBC2 called Cant take it With You [or similar] which covered the same thing.It said that the birth father does have legal rights and could challenge whatever guardianship wishes were in the will.All you can do is ask your ex to abide by your wishes.However,as there has been so little contact,couldnt your partner adopt your ds?It doesnt sound as though your ex would object to this.

I think your DP would have to apply for adoption, and your ex would have to give permission. You might have to get married though before your dp would be allowed to adopt.

Try to not worry about it too much; chances of anything bad or dangerous happening to you are very slim.

If something did happen, a judge would take into account your DS's wishes as to where he wants to live. Depending of course on what age he is.

For instance, if he's 14 and still hasn't seen his dad and something bad happens to you, the chances are a judge wouldn't send him off to live with his dad, irrespective of whether he is his biological birth father.

However, I do think your ex would have to give consent and be consulted about any plans.

Is he on your DS's birth certificate?

It's good to think about this in terms of trying to make plans, but try not to worry without needing to.

Hope that helps

Yes, he's on the birth certificate.

I have had contact with the CSA but he's a 'job hopper' so it takes months to find him through the Inland Revenue and another two months to assess how much he needs to pay by which time he's moved on.

My son is seven. My partner not being his real dad is no secret but in my son's mind me partner is 'his dad'. He's been in his life since he was a year old and has lived with us since he was three.

I'm looking into having my partner and parents as 'legal guardians' and am going to try speaking to a solicitor over the next week.

My ex was miles away and I never thought about him but he's now back in the area (a few towns over) and he suddenly feels too close for comfort.

I think speaking to a solicitor is a great idea as they deal with issues like this on a frequent basis and will know the laws and protocols of your area.

I do think though that if something happened a judge would listen to what your DS wants in terms of where to live and with whom. I'd doubt very much your DS would choose or be told to live with his biological dad, esp as he has been off the scene for so long and hasn't given him any care.

You seem like a good mum, with your head screwed on. Hope you get this cleared up soon when you seek legal advise.

T

We were in a similar situation and went to see a solicitor who talked us through our option. It was very useful. In the end we decided to not do anything, although our child is older. It involved including our son in the process, being interviewed which we did not want to put him through. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Hi,
I am having a smilar thought process myself recently, my situation is:
My ex has not seen my 2 and a half year old son in nearly 2 yrs, I believe he has moved away from the area and I am happy with a new partner.
What happens to ds and dp if anything happens to me?
The idea of the ex coming along and demanding access to his son (he was abusive towards me during and after our relationship), fills me with dread.
I can't give my partner PR without the ex's permission, (which he'd never give). So I'm stuck.
Anyway, this thought process has led me to create a government epetition.
I'd love any support from people in aa similar boat. Many thanks.

epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/26835

My DH has PR For DS. It was very easy to get. We applied through the court for PR and residency order. They contacted DSs birth father who had to agree to giving away his PR. this wasn't an issue and me and DH attended court alone and it was agreed. Cost about £60 and no solicitor needed. Not sure what happens if birth father does not agree though. PR is easier to get than adoption. We were told in court that of DH wanted to adopt DS we would have to be married for a year minimum and that I too would have to adopt DS which sounded madness. As it is DH has all responsibilities and is liable for maintenance for DS if we split up. We also changed DS name via deedpole which sealed it for us.

My child's father is leaving UK to live abroad. He is named on my child's birth certificate. Will he lose Parental responsibility by moving abroad? Otherwise I will "officially" need his father's permission to take him on holiday which is crazy if he doesn't live in UK. I am guessing if he is gone for a certain time I can apply to revert to residency order? Where do I stand on this? Any advise appreciated....