Baby that blacks out when crying

[NotANaturalGeordie]

DD2 is 9 months old and since birth I have been at her beck and call and she hasn't really had much reason to cry. I decided to get a little less available in the hope that she would allow DH to soothe her/put her to bed/feed her etc but then in the last 2 weeks she has developed blackouts. When she cries she stops breathing in, her brain shuts down and she passes out. The drs tell me that she will come round on her own and I don't actually need to yell at her, slap her on the back and do the other things I do to get her to breathe again. The hospital say to let her get on with it and not to tiptoe around her.

I can't watch her pass out again - she goes all limp like a rag doll - the thought makes me feel sick. How do I ever allow her to cry again? This morning it was a temper tantrum as she didn't want to wear trousers! Does anyone else have this problem - how do you cope?

It must be awful for you but she can't harm herself that way. She must be holding her breath while crying and the blackout is her body's way of ensuring that she breathes normally again.

9 months is too young for temper tantrums, btw.

There is another thread like this, yes it is distressing but you will cope, I am guessing that you have had her checked out by the Dr's, mine told me that when to be worried is when they black out not having a tantrum.

DD grew out of it about 2 yrs old then went on to making herself sick.

I didn't mean temper tantrum as such I know she's too young, but she was definitely not happy about the trousers IYSWIM. The drs say it's not 'holding breath' as that implies a decision but instead she has expelled all the air she has.

I'm scared she won't come round. I know (in my head) that she will but what if she doesn't?

2yrs old? I guess I have 12 months to go. How did you cope with it - did you avoid crying situations as much as possible, or did you just try to manage the blackouts?

You just have to, blowing gently in their face helps, unbelievably you do get used to it, it panicked the nursery more than me.

I really feel for you, it is so scary.

DS did something similar from 3 weeks until 12 weeks and then just stopped. He used to scream for no reason then stop breathing and go stiff. No-one has ever been able to tell me why it happened but it was the most terrifying thing and he did it every evening for a while. He did always come round himself within seconds.

I just held him, almost all the time, which I suppose you can do with a newborn! I've never felt stress like it. It did stop though and once you realise that they do always come round it gets easier.

My dd did this & I got some advice about it (and to make sure it was recorded somewhere too).

I was told that as soon as she passes out (which she didn't actually do, I managed to get her to breathe before it happened) she will start to breathe again & will come around.

It is scary, isn't it! The first time dh saw it, he really freaked out. I had seen my niece do it several times (behavioural, attention seeking rather than anything else) so knew she would be OK.

A trick to try, is to blow in her face before she gets to that passed out point, as it forces them to take a breath. When it looked like there was potential for it happen, I remained as clam as possible. It usually happened she hurt herself, so a fall or bump etc.

Dd grew out of hers before she was 18mths. But I do still worry it may happen again! I was very careful not to over react, as that is how my niece's turned into attention seeking behaviour, rather than something that happened. My sister totally mismanaged it, and dn played on that until she was 3! The good news is, that she is a wonderful 18yr old now!

My niece did this - it's a form of tantrum. The most important thing to remember is that, although it is very scary they will NOT STOP BREATHING, there is a reflex which will always prevent that.

The guidance my sister was given was to make sure her dd couldn't hurt herself (i.e lie her down) but give her no attention/fuss whatsoever, as this would only reinforce the behaviour and make her repeat it.

She quickly grew out of it, but it was very scary at the time.

CointreaVersial, the OP's baby is onlly 9 months old so too young for tantrums or attention seeking/manipulation.

If I were the OP, I would just do everything in my power not to let her cry.

My daughter was six months when hers started, way too young to tantrum!

It can be behavioural, but not at 3mths!

but not at 6mths!

TSC, not sure when it got behavioural for my niece, bit she certainly knew it rattled my sister!

My DS2 does this too, mostly when he has hurt himself. Once he managed to pass out at the top of the stairs and then tumbled all the way down. He is now 4 and hadn't passed out for 2 years until last weekend when he had a collision with an older boy at a birthday party, and promptly passed out. Still very scary!

Try, Different - you are right, it's probably nearer 18 months that it becomes behaviourable/attention-seeking.

Sobeda - it sounds like your ds is having "pallid" attacks, which is the equivalent of an adult faint (e.g. at the sight of blood). These normally occur, as you say, when they hurt themselves, and they're not usually attention-seeking.

I can't even imagine how scary that is! The worst I've had when my dd was little were febral convultions but they are in a way contollable.

Oh i do feel for you and I only want to reiterate what some other posters have said - my sd had the same thing and a friend of mine with her dd. They both grew out of it by 2 ish i think and they would just gently blow in their face which would make them draw breath and "hopefully" stop it in its tracks.

Good luck!

Thank you for all your replies, they have been helpful. DH has suggested we let her go for a full blackout/recover without trying to prevent it (he doesn't mean make her blackout, just the next time she does it) to reassure ourselves that she will come to no harm but I can't bring myself to do it. I've spent all day running when she starts crying!

I will try to not overly pacify her (no means no after all) and will try the blowing in her face suggestion.

Thanks again

Good Luck...it is scary, but even if she passes out she will be OK.

A 9 mo baby is not capable of understanding the concept of 'No means no'. They are also not yet capable of calming themselves down, in the way that you would expect a 3 yo to calm down after a temper tantrum. Babies need their parents to regulate their emotions. There is a ton of research/science backing this up.

OP, can you not use alternative means to keep the peace? This doesn't mean you have to give into her all the time, but at 9mo, the best tactics by far are:

• Picking your battles (ie, were the trousers really that important?)
• Distraction ("No you can't have those scissors, but you can have these keys")

The whole "don't give in or they'll walk all over you" thing does not kick in until they are much older, at least 2.