What age would you advise your daughter to have children?

[Mog]

There has been so much in the press recently about women leaving it too late and there's a thead on here about young mums getting agro. We can't change our own situations but I wondered what age mners would advise their daughter (fictional or otherwise) to have children?

30

25

I might keep my mouth shut in case I got the blame a few years down the line, but I think I'd advise earlier at around 25 then you can get back to a career earlier too - it's not as hard as in the past. Most of my friends are putting it off til late 30's and doing the career bit first which is good too but more of a gamble

it's fine finding a so called "ideal age" but if somebody isn't ready at that age then it's irrelevant. I wasn't ready in my twenties and wouldn't have enjoyed the experience as much.

I don't think there is an ideal age but at 25 I am still very young in comparison to other mums in my area and have found a lot of things difficult (no friends being my main issue!)

25 - 30. I was 29 for No1, 31 for No2 and now my career is better than ever

I think it's more important to think about how long you have been in a relationship and how willing she is to compromise her career. I don't think the age matters so much as what support she gets from her partner (I personally think you need some time to sort out your marriage/partnership before you can do a good job of parenting together) and how much/little she resents stopping work for a while and making the kind of adjustments she will need to make in her working life.

I'd have chosen 28. It felt right at that age. Unfortunately, my ex-husband (3 years older) realised he never wanted kids, so I didn't have them until I was 32 and had remarried.

17, to make up for her old mum leaving it so late - I want to be a grandma

But really - not sure that I would advise at all - seems to me where angels fear to tread...

About 30. I want her to enjoy her youth, travel, see a bit of the world, get a career established that she can go back to easily. Kids are hard work - no need to rush into having them! DH does not want her to ever have them or a DH/DP

I loved having kids in mid 20s, felt a really good age to me.

whenever they are ready

how are you hester???

Depends on how she sees herself - her ambitions outside the home and family, or her ambitions more centered on the home and family. If she aspires to a big career, it depends on the training, freelance, full time employment conditions of that particular industry as to when is the best time to make the break.

I'd say sometime from early twenties to late thirties - can't be more specific as so much depends on what job and lifestyle she'd want.

Whenever it feels best for her. At the moment that she feels it is right, she wants to do it and has the support and confidence in place to do it. (and that might mean being a single parent at 19, it might mean taking a nature-defying gamble at 39 plus).

I'm hoping my boys will have children sooner rather than later too, although it's up to them. If ds1 leaves it until he is the same age as I was when I had him, I will be 72 and dh will be 76.

Hopw we'll be around - all our parents were well dead by this age.

Hi bundle! I'm fine - EDD is Monday, so I'm lying around the flat looking like the upturned roach in Metamorphosis

ooer missus, what a lovely image are you scheduled for a vb?

Yes, the full works - TENS, water birth, massage oils, fairy lights... Just wait for the birth announcement that I had a 40 hour labour followed by emergency CS!

Sorry for the thread hijack, everyone

25. I had mine at 23 and 24 and am happy with that decision

PMSL Hester - can relate to that one!

Don't have daughters, only sons, but either way I would say 'not until you're ready'. For some than may be 18, for some it may be 40.

I didn't start having kids till I was nearly 38 and DH was 40. It wasn't planned that way, we envisaged it happening about 5 years earlier but it just didn't. However in the 3 or 4 years before we had kids we enjoyed some great holidays (the sort you can't really do with small children) and a financially secure lifestyle - seems like another world now. So having kids then would have meant missing out on all of that.

I can relate to the grandparents thing - my kids on have one grandparent left now, and that's the one thing that does make me wish I'd done it all 10 years earlier. Not from the childcare POV but because grandparents enrich their grandchildren's lives immensely, and viec versa.

Having said that, a schoolfriend of mine became a grandma at 40! It must be very useful to her grown-up children to have such a young and capable grandma on hand to help but personally I would hate it. On the other hand, I'm unlikely to become a granny at 60 unless both my boys have kids when they're around 20. So I'll probably be too old to be of much use by the time they finally do.

There are pros and cons either way and it depends how you look at it. Biologically about 20-25 is probably right, career-wise it would probably be about 35, but who can say? You'll be shafted by the press whichever you choose.

I had my children later, but I think probably 28-30 is a good time. Enough time to travel, work etc before settling down. My neice has found herself unexpectedly pregnant at 22 and going into her final year at university. I can't imagine being pregnant at this age as I was still so young myself - although I suppose I only know this in hindsight.

I had DS at 30 and will be 32 when next one arrives, I am happy with my choice. My Uni friends are nearly all starting to have children and I am about the same as the other Mom's in my area. I was way too selfish and immature to consider having children before 30!!!