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Original poster

struggling with newborn - when did it get easier for you?

28 replies

sotough · 07/02/2011 17:54

our gorgeous daughter is five weeks old and i adore her and am thrilled to have a new baby but i'm really struggling with the lack of sleep and general exhaustion. all pretty normal, etc, but i'm trying to encourage myself with thoughts of when it starts getting easier! can you remember when you started finding it easier with your newborn? with my son it was at five weeks, when he started sleeping a bit better, but he was much bigger than she is and could go longer stretches at night. it got a lot easier when he was 11 weeks and dropped the night feeds but i don't think this little one will be at that stage by then

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

squiggleywiggler · 07/02/2011 20:37

I think for us it got a bit better at 6 weeks and then lots better at 12 weeks. I find that looking back it actually got a tiny bit easier every week but I was too tired to notice.

Can you get someone to come and help out so you can have a few more naps?

I also find 20 mins in the bath is nearly as good as more sleep.

I promise it will get better!

cat64 · 07/02/2011 20:46

This reply has been deleted

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sungirltan · 08/02/2011 10:55

yy to 6 weeks and 3 months. have you seen the book 'the wonder weeks' - its very reassuring that everything is a phase and will pass.

3 months was a major milestone with my dd and it suddenly didn't seem like a non stop marathon anymore.

what is your situation? do you have a partner/mum who could help? even someone stopping by and taking dd for a walk for an hour can make a huge difference. dh used to take dd out in the sling for a few hours - she'd sleep mostly and seem quite happy while i rested - worked much better than the pram.

stop trying to do too much- i was really guilty of obsessing over washing up and laundry and whatever. next time i will let all that hang for the first few months!!

if all else fails come back and have a moan here whenever you need to - you're in good company!

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CilantroLarry · 08/02/2011 10:58

About 12 weeks I found it easier. But she still fed 2 hourly day and night until 7 months. I just got better at managing it.

moonbells · 08/02/2011 12:44

I had evening screamies for 3 months, then they just vanished. Sleeping through was another kettle of fish entirely... took almost to two years for that, while my NCT group all had perfectly sleeping babies

Sassles · 08/02/2011 13:51

I take a weekly pic of DS (now 8 months) and I look back at them and remember the 6 week old pic vividly as it was one of the last times that I totally cried during the day as he had been feeding almost non-stop from 11am till DS came home at 5.30pm. I hadn't got up when he did to have a quick bath before he left for work and was sitting there on the couch sobbing with manky hair, covered in baby spit up and still in my jammies.

It DOES get easier though, I promise!! I did have a few flakey sleep deprived moments after that, but really felt that about 10 weeks things were suddenly a lot easier.

Hang in there!!

sneakapeak · 08/02/2011 14:02

My DS it was 5 months when he was finally diagnosed with reflux and got meds (so not one to go on).

DD had severe reflux and although medicated from 7 weeks, was 12 weeks when i thought - phew!

It goes faster 2nd time round so if you have a difficult baby now, you have around 5-7 weeks left until she settles IMHO.

My DD is 14 months and very easy now.

sneakapeak · 08/02/2011 14:03

I should say she has been easy since 4 months!

mistressploppy · 08/02/2011 14:07

Much better at 3mo and then he slept 7-7 from 4mo so really good after that!

I remember getting pissed off with everyone saying how quickly the time would pass when quite frankly it DOESN'T while you're in the thick of it

JazzieJeff · 08/02/2011 15:55

mistressploppy I agree. Everyone kept saying to me 'oooh, make the most of it, time is so precious!' Outside I was smiling but inside I was screaming; 'Fuck off! Just fuck fucking off! I haven't slept in three bastard weeks and it feels like three years!'

Before you know it, you're juggling things a lot better. I think that's the key; learning to juggle motherhood with the rest of your life. I found getting out to baby massage classes etc a bit of a lifesaver. It made me realise that babies getm older and can hold a rattle/toy for a while and therefore entertain themselves, and also it helped me get a bit of a chat going with other people again. It is a pain in th arse at times, but at least I can look back on the week on a Friday and think 'at least I've been out the house'.

As each little slot of time passes, you look back and think 'things are much better than they were two weeks ago'. Babies are learning all the time, they do figure out that day time is a fun time to play, and night time is a good time to sleep. Some take longer than others, but try not to read or listen to horror stories of children not sleeping through until they are 8. Keep coming on here and moaning. It's really hard, but it's only because it's a new job.

Honeybee79 · 08/02/2011 17:36

I found that it got a bit easier after 6 weeks when DS was smiling more and could be awake without crying.

First few weeks were hellish - I really thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. It was terrible.

DS is now nearly 4 months and I mostly love spending time with him.

When it was tough I kept telling myself that it was just a phase and wouldn't last forever . . .

Josephsmum1234 · 16/01/2015 08:51

I have a 3 week old son and I am really struggling with his crying. My average day is feed him at 1am and he usually goes down until 4am. He then wakes for his next feed and I change his nappy and burp him. However, he then cries and it takes forever to settle him. He eventually goes down and then for the next few hours makes straining noises whilst asleep. Then he cries for his bottle every two hours but once he has had his bottle he is still sobbing. I try singing to him, cuddling him and nothing really works. Sometimes he will go off when he is feeding it if not it is a battle with him crying til his next feed. He has 4-5 oz-125ml each time. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Does anyone else experience this and know what to do to help? Does it get easier as my baby seems constantly unhappy

Pastmyduedate0208 · 16/01/2015 16:13

My ds will b 8 weeks tomorrow and he was an excessive crier. He'd cry for milk, then cry after feeding, cry to b picked up, then didn't like how i picked him up and cry, he'd cry because he was awake, I was losing my mind.
At about 5.5 weeks I purchased a soft sling and had my first feeling of peace and love with him as he slept quiet and nice against me in this sling it was the only thing he liked!
He was a much better baby from then on. Not sure if it was because of the sling or he was just due to improve at 6 weeks, but he is a totally much calmer happier baby now.
The little smiles are heart melting!

IDontWantToBuildASnowman · 16/01/2015 16:54

Don't focus on how small your DD is compared to your DS and how he was with sleep patterns, it really has nothing to do with size or how well they feed. My DD slept through 7pm-7am from 8 weeks but was small (under 25 percentile) and was a terrible feeder with reflux, but my DS was above 50th percentile and loved his milk (both FF so can compare definitively how much they drank) but didn't sleep through until much much later. I will say however that at 7.5 weeks my DD had me on my knees with tiredness and I had no idea that we were about to suddenly turn the corner and have her sleep through the night. So hang in there, she may well surprise you. Just be consistent and try to avoid feeding/sleep associations as much as you can and she'll get there. xx

squizita · 18/01/2015 16:01

For me it was 6 weeks or so because dd fed rough ly every 2 hr by day and woke only twice at night.
Then at 12 weeks their communication improves - making it easier and more rewarding.

Now at 4 months her sleep has regressed so it's tough again.

My mum says the next leap in "ease" is 5 or 6 months. They can play and after 6 months can have solids so (for me as a breastfeeding mum) time with dad so I can nap or have a bath becomes easier to plan. Currently I have to decide that morning and pump/defrost milk. In a few months I can leave a puree/pouch and water if I'm only needing an hour or two.

But newborn time is tough!!

squizita · 18/01/2015 16:04

...forgot key bit of info ... that's all for a small baby who still feeds little and often!

icklekid · 18/01/2015 16:11

By 12 weeks the dreaded colic had gone so we finally got our evenings it was a revelation! Now at 6 months he is a much happier child and can finally be put down to play. To be honest every month has got a bit better as I got a bit more sleep, something resembling a routine and generally starting to feel like the old me! I have quite a high needs /fussy baby though!

CarrotPuff · 18/01/2015 16:20

At around 8 weeks for me. He finally was happy to be put into his bouncy chair and just watch me, so I had a bit of a break.

Before that when everyone told me it will get easier I didn't believe them. But it did.

You are doing a great job, just take one day at a time. Lower your expectations, try to get out every day, or even just a couple times a week. Find out what baby groups are there in your area - it's good to talk to people who are in the same boat.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 18/01/2015 16:30

6 months for me, when she could sit up and was starting to crawl. Before that she needed constant entertaining. We haven't dropped the night feeds yet at 14 months . We're working on it!

wheresthelight · 18/01/2015 16:53

as a newborn my dd was fab and slept through at 8 weeks. she is 17 months now and making me pay for it unfortunately!

CPtart · 18/01/2015 17:18

Around three months. Stopped bf, sleeping vastly improved and I went back to work part time.

footallsock · 18/01/2015 17:34

6 weeks - they often start sleeping longer at night around then

Mrscog · 18/01/2015 20:38

At 10 weeks DS started sleeping 1-5am. It doesn't sound much, and he still generally fed at midniight and 5am until 6months, but sleeping for a 4 hour stretch in the dead of night made a HUGE difference to how I felt. Especially as he'd normally sleep again after 5am feed, so I'd also then get 6-8am.

loafofbread · 18/01/2015 20:42

12 weeks it got easier. DD then dropped her night feeds all together by 5months. The newborn phase felt like glue... time stood still and we were up all night. Looking back, it went much quicker than we were realising. We still have struggles but I remind myself that everything is just a phase.

Mamabear12 · 18/01/2015 20:43

All babies are different. Good news is, you get used to it! My daughter slept through by 6 months. My son, not until 13 months! It does get easier though. First three months are always the hardest. But times for by so fast. Any friends or family that can help you so you can get a nap in? Or if you can afford extra help? Even two hours a day helps!

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