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Parenting

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Original poster

do you regret giving a dummy?

24 replies

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 06/02/2011 17:47

this is a no-judgement thread
dd1 had a dummy. it was both a blessing and a curse. it settled her beautifully, but then we got to a point where we were getting up as many as 10 times nightly to "replug" her when it fell out.

dd2 is 14 weeks, and has thus far not taken a dummy. she has been very unsettled all day, and so in desperation i proffered one of the dummies we'd bought ages ago. she actually took it. however, i then started having PTSD style flashbacks of replugging dd2 every hour two through the night, and took it off her after she calmed down.

so, to dummy or not to dummy?

btw, she has started to self-soothe with her fingers, but is not very good at it yet.

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aPixie · 06/02/2011 19:18

No I don't regret giving Ds1 a dummy but we never had the problems that others seem to have.

So he would have it for nap and bed times but as soon he was asleep and it fell out that was it. There's was never any waking up in the middle of the night for it. At 15months I couldn't find a dummy for bedtime so put him to bed without it. It didn't bother him, he fell straight asleep and never had it again.

I have tried and tried and tried again to get ds2 to take a dummy because my nipples are not enjoying being used as one, but he point blank refused and now at 20weeks settles by sucking his fingers.

SilveryMoon · 06/02/2011 19:21

I regret giving ds2 a dummy.
Ds1 had one, but ds2 is so so so much more attached to it than ds1 was and now I am worried about how and when to take it away

Sirzy · 06/02/2011 19:23

DS had no dummy really until he was 8 weeks (occasional use but he wasn't bothered) when he was in hospital and the staff asked if we could try him with one to help. I said yes (of course!) and he still has one at 14 months, he would have it all the time if he got his way but he only has it at nightime.

He is due an op over the summer so I am keeping it until then and then will tackle getting rid!

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MoonUnitAlpha · 06/02/2011 19:28

Gave a dummy from about 4 weeks - at 5 months it started waking ds when it fell out, so we stopped using it at night.

He has it in the day time sometimes though, if he's in the buggy or carseat.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 06/02/2011 19:30

All three of mine had dummies, and gave them up with a bit of nudging. If I ever had another (not likely!) I would use one again.

Tee2072 · 06/02/2011 19:31

Not at all. My son uses no other comfort object so I am happy for him to have it at nap and bed time.

He still occasionally has it other times.

putthekettleon · 07/02/2011 20:13

I hated DD1 having a dummy. Had to get up in the night to replace it, hated the way it looked in her mouth, and she was always bloody losing them and they cost a fortune! Now she is 2.10 and still has it at night, not feeling brave enough yet to tackle that one

I did try DD2 with a dummy out of sheer desperation at about 5 weeks old. Thankfully she didn't want it, and it's such a relief now - she is 7 months and sleeps through the night without one quite happily.

strawberrie · 07/02/2011 20:21

No regrets at all. When she was very little, it would perhaps need replacing a few times while she was actually falling asleep, but since then we've had no real trouble with being woken to replace it.

She's been great at self-settling since she was very little, which of course may well be just good luck, but I think the dummy as a sleep cue has helped. She's now almost 2 and the dummy is strictly for sleeptimes only; she knows it lives in her cot and it's a doddle to get her down for a nap.

ilovesprouts · 07/02/2011 20:26

i have 3dcs none has ever had dummys..but my youngest one sticks his thumb in when hes tierd

pinkhebe · 07/02/2011 20:28

ds1 didn't want one, and was a nightmare sleeping, ds2 took one and was a dream sleeping, he gave it up at 22 months though

CostaLotCoffee · 07/02/2011 20:33

Hell no!! They were heaven sent!

Now that I have had an 'easy' baby I can see why some people think dummies are just lazy parenting, but when I had my first (very tricky) baby I wouldn't have survived without the dummy. When we got to 13 months we took it away and had no problems.

I think if we hadn't given a dummy it would have been thumb sucking instead and I really feel for friends now trying to stop that, at least you can remove a dummy!

happygilmore · 07/02/2011 20:44

Same as you - yes and no! It worked well for a few months but at 7 months we were up all night putting it back in, so it had to go in the end. She was surprisingly OK though getting rid of it, only took a couple of nights to get used to it.

I think I would use it again for another baby.

lockets · 07/02/2011 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cookieraymond · 07/02/2011 20:49

God no, some babes need a little help to help them settle and sucking a dummy is one of those things!

DS1 had one and loved it, and he was a nightmare - would wake up screaming most nights for 18months with tummy ache (slow digestive system) so couldn't have done without it. Around the age of 2yrs old he got a big mouth ulcer on his lip and couldn't suck it so cue 3 nights of cuddling him to sleep and job done!

I have heard if you do the withdrawal of the dummy around 4 months just before they start to become too aware of what is going on it makes it easier to loose.

My second dc wouldn't take one and i was devastated

shesparkles · 07/02/2011 20:51

I didn't have a dummy when I was young but I was a thumb sucker, and ended up needing braces in my teens due to the thumbsucking having given me seriously buck teeth.
I'd far rather a child had a dummy than a thumb. I appreciate it can be difficult to break the habit but at least it CAN be broken-you can't take away a thumb sucker's thumb!

ziggyf · 07/02/2011 20:59

I hate hate hate dummies. Gave one to my exceptionally grouchy DS2 at 7 weeks and he took to it straight away, wanted it in all the time. It caused all sorts of problems with his sleep at night - spitting it out then waking up crying - and also on long car journeys (close family at opposite ends of the country). We took it away 2 weeks ago and it's been really hard, I'd never use one again.

That's not a judgement about parents/babies that use them, we just found it to be a complete nightmare.

MCos · 07/02/2011 22:31

My two girls had a dummy. Never had to give it to them during the night. However, once they got a bit older (can't remember, maybe 9 months), I remember that I used to put 2 or 3 in the cot. They used to like to hold one and suck another..

Both broke the habit quite easily around 2. The first one had to give her dummies to Santa, and the second just stopped of her own accord.
Anything for an easy live, I think.

MCos · 07/02/2011 22:32

Never had to wake up to give them their dummy, is what I meant to say.

Original poster

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 08/02/2011 07:58

ooh, thanks for all these thoughts.
i am still undecided - part of my thinks i have done half of the hard bit (first 6mo) without, so i should plough on.

it's good to hear that so many don't have the replugging problems, but hearing of the few that do makes me shudder at the memory.

dd2 started grumbling at 5am, 45mins after a feed this morning. dh left her 5 mins, and then went in, and she had found her fingers .

OP posts:

cory · 08/02/2011 08:20

I regretted not giving a dummy. Much harder to wean someone off sucking their fingers, can't give those away to the tooth fairy.

HettyAmaretti · 08/02/2011 08:26

DD had a dummy, DS totally refused but didn't suck his fingers or thumb either.

In retrospect I'd have removed DDs dummy earlier than I did (she was almost 3 when I went) but I don't regret her having had it at all. She was also one who needed regular replugging during the night.

Given the choice between a DC soothing with a dummy or fingers/thumb I'd go with the dummy every time. it can be removed when the time is right, DD would definitely still be sucking her thumb if she'd done that instead of having one.

mummytime · 08/02/2011 08:32

No regrets, and had to persevere with 2 of the DC. But I was a thumb sucker which is a much harder habit to break.
I did tend to take away dummys at night, certainly taught them to settle without, but it was very useful when they became stressy. They also didn't have them the whole time during the day either.

GooseyLoosey · 08/02/2011 08:33

No not at all. Ds never had one and its been a nightmare trying to stop him sucking his thumb. dd had one and by comparisson, it was dead easy taking them away. Depends on the child I guess though.

Pinkglow · 08/02/2011 14:45

No I don't. We used one for my son when he was very tiny as an aid to help him self sooth.

We always took it out when he had calmed down and we never let him fall asleep with it and when he was about 4 months he was better at self soothing himself and w didnt need it anymore so I threw them away. It was a great aid to calm a distressed tiny baby.

No judgement on anyone whos babies use them for longer btw

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