Just to reassure you that my 18mo old still has a bedtime bottle, and still wakes overnight for milk.
She too won't take a proper milk feed from anything other than a bottle, though has started to have a little bit out of a cup with a straw during the day.
We're going with it for the moment, as we're both against doing controlled crying or anything like that. So we're just going with it.
Babies are designed to feed overnight until they are about 2, IIRC. And all babies and children wake in the night, it's just that some need help getting back to sleep and others don't. DD is getting better at putting herself to sleep without the milk, but some nights only milk will do. So that's what she has.
I'm not entirely convinced it's anything to do with hunger these days, but I do try and make sure DD has access to enough food during the day. She's a grazer, so tends to have a little bowl of something on the go at most times. That said, some nights she can have a massive dinner & pud, and goes down to bed with a full bottle of milk about 30 mins later 
I don't know where she puts it!!
I know none of this helps you, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone.
With regards to the BLW, will he not eat a cottage pie etc with his hands? DD only started using cutlery a couple of months ago, and it's still hit and miss. But she's always just had what we have and used her hands. She still resorts to that now, and generally waves her spoon around with one hand whilst scooping with the other hand! She's not averse to the spoon, but rather just experiments with it rather than use it consistently at the moment.
I hope you find a solution that works for you soon x