How to get my child to sleep, sleep and stay asleep

[Boblina]

Hello everyone, not been on for a while. DS age 14 month will just not sleep. We have a routine - quiet time, milk and a song then put him down. Until now he has just gone in his cot and gone to sleep and the problems start when he wakes up. He only stays asleep for a couple of hours and then wakes up. It is so difficult to get him to go back to sleep. We could be hours and I mean 4+. We have tried the controlled crying for 8 night and he just got so angry and worst, we have tried sleeping in our bed which is a little better but not great. We have made sure he is not wet or soiled, not thirsty or hungry. He now even wont go into his cot when we first put him down. Bedtimes is such a battle and it's making DS1 (3 1/2) very tired. Any suggestions PLEASE, we just don't know what to do. DS1 has always been fantastic at sleeping.

How are his naps? (When, how long?)

Yeah I was going to ask this. I find with dd that if she's not sleeping well at night, I cut her nap right back and she sleeps much better...

What did you do with the controlled crying? I did this with my ds (very poor sleeper, could not settle to sleep well and woke up a lot). It really only works if they're very tired and you have to persevere with it...its tough going and it gets bad press on here but I know for my ds it was the only answer...I used to settle him in cot, say night night and then leave..5 mins later go back if still crying and then add 5 mins each time you go back...It really worked for ds.

Good luck

OTOH, my DS doesn't sleep well at night if he hasn't slept properly in the day. What you're describing, OP, sounds like he thinks bedtime is actually the start of a nap, not the night sleep.

Maybe he is getting too much sleep during the day. Cut his sleep time down to 1 hour for 1 week but if he still continues to get up just maybe try cutting his sleep out altogether.

Yes naps is the thing.

Hi everyone. He does not really nap much during the day. 40 mins. If really tired an hour, but that is rare. He usually goes down at 12:30 but sometimes does not last that long. Don't think his naps are the problem. Don't know.

CharlieBoo, what did you mean settle him in the cot? Did you put him in the cot when crying? We tried this and some night well it goes on for hours.

How long does the controlled crying take? Isn't 8 nights already telling us that we need to try something else or should we persist? He tries to climb out of the cot and sometime just lets go of the cot and falls (in the cot I might add). Just scared he will do himself an injury.

Boblina, how long has his sleep been so disrupted for?
Could he be teething with canine teeth or molars? Have you tried pain relief?

I definitely wouldn't reduce his daytime sleep. If anything, maybe he's not getting enough during the day and ends up overtired which is causing him to wake in the night?

He has never been a good sleeper, but has started getting worst since October when he was ill with ear infection, teething, and cold. One after the other. In the last couple of weeks worst that since October as he will not even go to sleep straight away. You see he used to go down and then not wake until midnight but over the last couple of weeks he will not go down without a fight and then start waking between 9 and 10 oclock.

DD sleeps better at night the better she naps in the day. She used to only sleep for 45mins a day but now I might get a 2.5hr nap!!! I wouldn't say we've cracked the naps but I now go for a post-lunch one nap slot so she's not hungry. Bottle ready, blind down, covers back before lunch and I whisk her straight up at the first sign of grumpiness, falling over etc. DD is 17mo but we've been on one nap for a while. DD fights bedtime if she's over tired so sometimes if she starts looking grumpy early, I do a quick pasta, peas & pesto dinner, skip the bath and get her to bed as quick as I can.

At 14mo, I'd also try some toddling or other activity in the afternoon to wear them out a bit. A bit of fresh air might help too. DD is better now she's more mobile.

Otherwise, I'd wonder if it's teething and probably try a dose of paracetamol/ibuprofen before bed to see if it makes a difference.

Even if I let him sleep during the day, he just wakes. :-( But could give it a good to see if I can make him sleep any better.
DS went to bed at 7:15 tonight but did not go to sleep until 8. He is not crying.

Went to bed tonight at 7 and woke up just over an hour ago.

Goodness you poor thing. Doesn't sound like he's having toomuch sleep in the day at all. The controlled crying worked in a few days for us and my ds was very determined. Not everything works for everyone.

Only other thing is to tire him out as much as you can in ghe afternoons... Not easy in this weather though. Also Is he too hot, too cold? Is he uncomfortable in some way, my dd hates sleeping bags for eg. Does he have dummy/blanket? Is he lightsleeper? What about a night lullaby nightlight?

If you're in the room trying to settle him and stay there patting his tummy or shhhhhhing him what happens then? Just thinking aloud really.

A couple of suggestions. Many babies that age need 2 naps, often one short one around 9ish and another around 1ish, often for up to 2 hours (assuming they wake around 7ish). When my DS was on 2 naps, he was up at 6.30 and napped at 9.30 for 30 mins, then at 1.30 for 2 hours.

Alternatively, have you had him checked out for allergies? It could be that something he's eating in the evening is causing him to wake - I've heard of that disrupting sleep before.

Hope you see some improvement.

Hi, he does not like the dummy or a comfort blanket. If have tried both many times. I don't think he is too hot or cold but def hate a blanket on him. I don't know. If we put him down and pat him and shhhhhh, well he just gets up, cries, screams, tried to calm down, tried to grab you and cling onto you. It's all so sad. Tonight it took an hour but we had no tears. Not sure if it is a fluke or if it is the right way to go about it but he went to sleep without crying once. He had milk in his room (well ours, lights low. He drank his milk but he was trying to pul my hair and banging his feet. Told him calmly to stop as it was night time. after milk I sang many rhymes in a soft voice looking at him. When he wanted to get up, I simply told him give me a cuddle and carried on singing. Then stood up and had him resting on my shoulder. He feel asleep in my arms and I put him down. I know that I should have put him down before he fell asleep but it was the first time in at least 6 months that he fell asleep without a fight, crying....

Allergies. What ask the doctor for a test? How would I go about it?

I've no experience myself, but I'd go the the GP and explain the problem and ask if it would be worth investigating.

Allergies can suddenly appear - a friends' daughter got secondary lactose intolerance after a stomach bug which irritated her stomach lining. I know the DS of Moxie on the AskMoxie blog had problems due to tomatoes - see this blog post.

Went to the doctor yesterday, well my DH did with DS2 and when he asked about getting DS tested for allegies the doctor just laughed and said not to be silly and that we have a healthy baby. I am glad about that he seems healthy and that, but