Age gaps - Have we left it too late??

[TLCDoula]

I'm really broody (DH still isnt sure so it might not be an issue anyway yet... ) for DC3, but this would been there would be a large age gap if we went for it, potentially 10 & 7 years.

How big an age gap is too much do you think? We were in our early 20's when we had our other two, but for the past two years I've been yearning for another. I'm a different person now I'm in my 30's, more patient, financially settled etc and it just feels right.

DH however thinks the age gap is just too big, they'll have nothing in common and why rock the boat when he's totally happy with the family we've got now.

Any advice please?

Thanks

Hi, I have a 12 year old, a 10 year old and a 15 week old baby!

The older two absolutely adore her, watching them together is absolutely heart melting. Any doubts I had (which were mainly put there by comments other people made about big gap/starting again etc) disappeared once we all came home.

My DD (12) gets so much fuss and attention from her friends, having a new baby sister. They all want to come and see the baby. DS can't wait to push the pram home on the way back from school.

I'm that little bit older and a whole lot calmer - and thoroughly enjoying it all over again!

Wow thank you for all your replies.

I'm totally sold on the idea, but obviously wouldn't want to unless DH felt the same. I'm not going to pressurise him, all we can do is talk and talk some more. All your stories sound so positive though. :)

Watch this space!

X

I have 5 siblings and am closest to the one with 9 years age difference. Your husband is (potentially) wrong!

My perfect age gap is 4.5 years old. I can't imaging the hell of 2 under 2, or 2 preschoolers. We are TTC #2 and very deliberately waited until DS would have been old enough to understand, at school and old enough to be sleeping well and hopefully not jealous.

Cross your fingers you don't get twins then Jareth!

earwigca - I'd LOVE twins. I've thought about it a LOT, and it would be pure hell for the first year, but I really hoped Ds would be twins.

We'd have to move house though.. at least after a while :)

My mum always wanted twins until I had them. She changed her mind then and was quite relieved. Funnily enough I never thought about it, so was VERY shocked at the scan :)

Oh, I'd be shocked to the core. It would be amazing, but fucking hell the sleep deprivation woukld kill me. how on earth did you manage?

Not to mention the likely premature delivery, c-section, double cost.

Yes.. be careful what you wish for :)

I have a 8 yr old and a 20 yr old - both boys. They have never been overly close - they may play the odd computer game together or lego and we always eat as a family ...but the older one went to Uni a year ago so they hardly see each other. I am hoping that when they are 18 and 30 they might find they have something in common.

Saying that my sisters are not close and have a 4 yr age gap - I am the middle child and am close to the pair of them.

What i would say is that I was a FAR better parent the second time around (was 17 with the first and 29 with the second. I am very grateful that i had the opportunity to parent with out so many of the stresses i had at 17. I have enjoyed every minute of parenting the second time around.

There are 15 years between me and my sis. I love her to bits and we never argue. Go for it.:)

9 years between my eldest and my next (only got the 2). No real bother here.

10 years between my sister and I and we've always got along great, better than my other siblings who are closer in age to me.

My brothers are 6.5 and 9 years older than me. It wasn't a problem - they used to include me in lots of games. They never bullied me - maybe I was a bit spoiled but not excessively.

It probably does depend on the characters of your existing DC.

I am 24.5 years older than my sister. She has always argued with me and never listened to a word I say. 'Your not the boss of me','Why is she getting to stay up late?' and 'I want to watch Pulp Fiction too, it's not fair'. We get on great. Just like sisters with a smaller age gap