Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

So how much did you know?

33 replies

Grabaspoon · 04/02/2011 09:11

Before you had dc1 how much did you know about babies? I was talking to a friend who told me that she had read several books about pregnancy but had never thought to actually read about babies and children.

She had, had no experience of babies ie first of the friends to have a baby, no younger siblings/cousins, didn't babysit as a teen, so was really dropped in the deep end.

If and when I have children I will have several years experience of caring for babies/children and relevant training.

So what did you know?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nickytwotimes · 04/02/2011 09:15

i knew flip all. was utterly lost.

5GoMadOnAZ650 · 04/02/2011 09:16

Absolutely nothing!!

My youngest sibling is only 6 years younger than me and she was the last baby in the family, none of my friends had babies and I rather disliked children in general.

My mum stayed with me the first week and showed me the ropes, nappy folding, bottle making etc and then my nan came for the second week.

It was a total baptism of fire as I'd only left home for the first time a fortnight before (xp buggered off when I was 6 mo pg) but it must have been ok as I've had another 3 children :)

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 04/02/2011 09:35

haha at rather disliked children in general.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

kreecherlivesupstairs · 04/02/2011 09:36

Not a sausage. Me and DH went on an ante natal course for six weeks. All we wanted to know was practical stuff, bathing and nappying etc. The bonkers midwife kept doing birthing things which was pointless. I knew I was having a section from 18 weeks of pregnancy. We never learned anything of any use, but did see a scarcrow rag doll being pushed through a knitted pelvis on more than one occasion.
when dd came along, I kept missing her being bathed because I was out at the front of the hospital having a fag. The nurses would wait until I was gone, then do her.
My mum and sister flew out for a week to help me and DH once we got home.

Bertina · 04/02/2011 09:43

My friend's dd is expecting her first baby.

She knows everything. Babies, toddlers, children, teenagers, the lot.

I smile and nod. I think it unfair to tell her that all those books are best used for propping the cot up when the baby has a cold.

Rainbowbubbles · 04/02/2011 10:29

Bertina, priceless my thoughts exactly ha ha!

I knew nothing, no younger siblings, no babysitting no anything. I was even scared of holding newborns! ....my friend made me hold hers when i was 4 months and it still freaked me out

I was also a single parent at the time with no family in the country

BUT it just came so naturally and i took to it like a duck to water! didn't have half the problems some of my "well read" friends had. Don't think experience means much at all - a lot of common sense and gut instinct works wonders

Simic · 04/02/2011 10:59

I wish I had known more - more about my rights to have time off from work after having the baby, more about how much I would want that time off, more about how you CAN'T spoil a child except by not giving it enough love.

And I wish I'd had less "advice" from my mum, my mother in law and particular old-fashioned midwives!

Gonzo33 · 04/02/2011 11:14

I too "rather disliked children" until I had my first, and did not have a scooby. Funnily enough it came naturally to me, although I still am not a great fan of other peoples children.

stillbobbysgirl · 04/02/2011 11:18

My DS1 was just about the first newborn I had ever held, and definitely the first one I had ever seen with no babygro on!

First nappy I ever changed was the first poo (the black stuff like tar), at 4 in the morning on the ward by the light of a single bulb - took me about an hour.

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 04/02/2011 11:33

Haha about the nurse waiting until you went out before she bathed the baby.

OP posts:

PassTheTwiglets · 04/02/2011 11:45

Oh this subect always makes me laugh ! Before I had my 1st, I read and read and read and I knew everything. I knew what temperature their rooms should be, what age to wean, what the best nappies were, how to treat every single illness they could ever have - and I knew so much about labour and birth I swear I could've delivered a baby myself. However, it turnedout that I had no idea what to actually do with a baby :o My mum and I always laugh at the memory of her saying to me "are you going to put her down for a nap then?" and I said "What? You have to give them naps during the day?" I knew all the theory but it never occurred to me to find out about the practical :)

taffetasplat · 04/02/2011 11:47

Nada. Zilch.

I was the youngest in my family, never, ever had any baby contact. I had my first at 36 with zero experience of nappies, those farking poppers on babygros, bathing, holding the head blahblahblah

When the eldest went to school I exhaled. The second one was fine as I knew what to do.

I read a fair bit before, but there's theory and there's practice, IMO.

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 04/02/2011 11:52

Agree about theory and practise

Plus once what you learnt for a newborn it all changes again for the older baby, the toddler, the toddler and the baby etc

OP posts:

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 04/02/2011 15:57

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 04/02/2011 16:14

Zero. I had never even met a newborn baby, unless you count my younger brother when I was 3, but he only existed as a carrycot that made a lot of noise so far as I was concerned.

Luckily DH had been taught about childcare at school, and had a niece who he saw a lot when she was tiny. And my mum came to stay for the first fortnight. So we all survived the experience...

aPixie · 04/02/2011 16:15

I looked after my brother a lot when we where younger (dad worked away, lazy alcoholic step-mum) and regularly looked after a friends little girl so I knew enough to stop me going insane.

Which was great because I was practically left to get on with it with no help from anyone. (Dp back to work after 4 days and family not around)

The above is talking about babies though.

I have a 22month old toddler now and I don't have a clue. I'm just kind of muddling along.

BertieBotts · 04/02/2011 16:23

None, I read a few books and hung around parenting forums though, so I looked at lots of threads and websites and found my "niche" before DS arrived. I'm pretty laid back :) I think the forums helped a lot as I saw people go through problems and receive reassurance that it would all be fine etc!

BertieBotts · 04/02/2011 16:25

"If and when I have children I will have several years experience of caring for babies/children and relevant training."

Be wary though - people I know who had lots of experience seemed to find it harder as they knew all the theory but suddenly had to apply it to their own child, which is very different! :)

pingusmumtoo · 04/02/2011 16:36

Bugger all ... in fact had been in labour for a good few hours (10) before it occurred to me to check the book I hadn't read to find out what the signs were that you were actually in labour. I did this whilst bathing my DSD (5) having realised pains were getting worse and worse and closer and closer together but as my waters hadn't broken I was blissfully unaware. When arrived in hospital about an hour later they had a look and went "oh you're 8cm dilated and in labour" .... pre-eclampsia, double epidural, spinal and episiotomy later and my DS was with us. He was 4 weeks early.
I am sooooooo glad I knew nothing !
About 4 weeks later staggered to mothercare and bought the contented little baby book which although written in a very strict fashion I found pretty helpful.
He is happy and healthy and I found 99% of it all came naturally and the more advice I got the more confused I got.
But then I've always been a fly by the seat of your pants kinda girl woman !

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 04/02/2011 22:46

Totally agree Bertie Botts - I know nannying is different to parenting - even when I have done long term 24/7 work.

OP posts:

tigana · 04/02/2011 22:55

Ha!
Had vague ideas that babies cried and fed and pooed and didn't sleep when you wanted them to.
Was aware they were considered tricky to clothe ( 'octopus in string bag' ).

My friend is expecting her first at moment. I have said read all the books you want, then be ready to ignore all of them, that way you won't feel like you have 'failed to prepare', but also won't feel you are 'failing' to experience what the books said you would.

If I have a dc2, I will probably read more than I did for dc1 tbh....

Species8472 · 04/02/2011 23:03

I knew nothing. First nappy was DD's horrible meconium one (midwife did show me what to do, thank god). Had no idea how to get them to nap, thought they just kind of fell asleep at some point....boy was I confused for a long time!

I wish I had read up a bit more, but then nothing can really prepare you for it.

FreudianSlippery · 04/02/2011 23:12

I had no actual experience at all - I was 20 when DD was born and I'd never held a baby.

She was planned though, and overwhelmingly wanted by us both - but actually, both DH and I were always more looking forward to having a CHILD rather than a baby - we thought babies were boring! It was utterly shocking how much I enjoyed the baby phase.

I knew a lot - I read a lot anyway. I was obsessed with reading about anything from BFing to sleep routines to sodding phonics! But I was/am sensible enough to know that no amount of reading can actually prepare you for parenthood! :o

OmicronPersei8 · 04/02/2011 23:23

I was a teacher and knew about children, but babies and toddlers not so much. When DD got to about 4 I suddenly knew what to do! I know this feeling will wear off in the next few years when she grows out of my comfort zone though.

When DD was born I think the biggest thing I learnt wasn't how to bathe her or change a nappy, but more how to trust my instincts, give in to the fact I wasn't going to sleep well for ages, and to just ditch the books.

I knew a nanny who was quite shocked at how different caring for a 6 month old - or even a 3 month old - was to caring for your newborn whilst all sleep-deprived, tired from labour, being milked every hour or two...

DuelingFanjo · 04/02/2011 23:40

Everything I know I have learned from here and I have to say that as a result I have found it a hell of a lot easier than I thought I would. DS is 6 weeks old and is either a very easy baby or I over prepared!

Apart from that my experience of real life babies is very basic and I still wouldn't feel confident with someone elses baby!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread