Am I creating a monster....

[Cbell]

When I was pregnant I read all the books about birth and felt myself relatively informed. Now she is her I am not so sure of what to do!

I have a few questions concerning carrying and bedtime.

1. I have a sling that if my DD is compliant she spends a significant portion of the day in, being carried around while I try and get on with a few jobs. She seems content. However, I am concerned that she will/ does sometimes struggle to put down. When she shouts out to be picked up and I respond.

I've heard other mums say they don't carry their DC in slings because they want them to learn to be separate/ independent. What should I do?

2. Bedtimes. My DD is 4 weeks and we have no real bedtime routine. She goes to bed when I do (around 8.30pm!) she feeds to sleep. Then might lie on me for 30 minutes before I put her in her crib.

I am concerned I am making her too dependent. She is happy and content but I would like some advice on establishing bedtime routines.

Many thanks for the help.

She isn't too dependent. She is tiny!!!

Stop worrying about what others say and try to relax. Instinct is good.
No one has ever parented your baby.

You can start worrying about independence when she is a bit bigger.

No, you are not creating a monster. I had all this too, was told I was making a rod for my own back etc etc. Tell them to bog off and raise their own children, or if you're in a better mood than me just smile and ignore them.

My DD is 2.4 yo and has NEVER had a routine. I carried her in a sling, co-slept, still BF on demand and she is a happy and confident girl. She is never clingy.

4 weeks is tiny and anyone that expects a baby to learn independence at that age is quite frankly batshit. You sound like you're doing a great job, just carry on doing what your instincts tell you. Babies do not need a routine so it's up to you whether you want to implement one or not. If you do then I would wait until your DD is a little older.

There was a link the other day to a brilliant article saying that 'spoiling' babies is good for them, I can't remember where it was but I'll have a look for it for you.

A monster? What? No.

You want her to be separate and independent already? She is a tiny baby. She'll do all that in due course.

Don't worry about routines yet.

Sounds to me like you're doing a great job by responding to your baby instinctively. You don't HAVE to do what other people do. Do what you are comfortable with.

Babis are dependent - that is their job!

Forced independence is abandonment.

Carry on as you are. Very very early days!

oh and you will settle in to a routibe by yourselves over the next few months.

please know you are doing fab.

"She is happy and content"
nuff said :)
I had a velcro baby, carried him in a sling, co-slept for a while, pushed him in pram so he'd sleep during the day, fed him to sleep at night....

Now, at nearly 2, he's been sleeping that elusive 7 til 7 (actually 7 til 8 most days) for months (in cot in own room...)

And he is so independent! I'm glad DS2 is still young, so I still get a decent cuddle-fix! :)

It's such early days, and it sounds like you're being a lovely responsive mum...

I did the same as you and by six months she naturally became more independent. Stop comparing yourself to those other mums, like the other posters have said it sounds like you're doing a great job! ...especially as she's only 4 weeks, she's bearly out of your tummy of course she is dependent.

You sound like you're doing a fantastic job

I am very much of the opinion that if you respond to all your baby's needs (as you are doing), you will make them feel secure and they will naturally become more confident and independent children.

No, you are not creating a monster.

Do what you feel is right for you and your baby.

I did not use a sling, it wasn't for me. DD was near me, on a mat on the floor or in a bouncy chair. It was enough for her to be in the same room.

We liked bedtime routine and put her in her cot when she was awake, but if you feed to sleep then don't worry about it. Everyone is different.