It's half past 8 in the morning and already I want to throttle my 3 year old

[doricpatter]

Me: "What would you like for breakfast? How about some nice porridge and banana?"
DS: "Oh yes yes yes, please can I have sprinkles (coco pops) too?"
Me: "Yes, here you go"

He eats most of it without complaint and then wanders off. Ten minutes later he comes through to the kitchen and asks for a snack. I suggest he finishes his breakfast so he sits down again.

DS: "Mum you've done it wrong."
Me: "?"
DS: "You are meant to put the sprinkles on the side, this is wrong". Lip out, massive scowl.
Me: "You didn't tell me you wanted them on the side, and it's all mixed up since you've been eating it anyway."
DS: "It's wrong."

This is how life is most of the time right now. I'm wrong, I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, I'm "not right", "Dad says ...", "Miss X, Y, Z says ...", "I'm very angry with you today". It's all I can do not to be angry right back - and even that's not very successful sometimes. Constant loggerheads :(.

You know, when he was little I was so in tune with him, but now we're on totally different wavelengths and I don't know how to change that.

Don't worry he is normal-honestly. I used to wish I had my sweet little toddler back when my DD was 3. They are just so bloody vocal aren't they?

His behaviour is just part of him growing up and noticing that there are other people in the world other than mum.

Try letting him have a bit more control over things, for breakfast let him put his own fruit on porridge so he gets to decide how to do it, then you can't do it wrong. I would do this for lots of little things throughout the day.

I would just answer his "you are wrong" statement by saying something like "we all do things differently, it's not wrong or right, just different"

I would also pick my battles, for small things like breakfast, let him have input, do it his way and not worry about it. Obviously if he saying you are wrong about a big issue-car seat, holding hands etc, then he just needs to be told "Mummy is in charge and we are going to do it this way"

HTHs a little.

I am just writing as I also could have throttled my 3 yr old... But by 730 this morning!! But thank god it's a nursery/ work day!!! He can be anything from truly angelic ( please, thank you, can I help u with that mummy?) to goddamn cringingly massively incredibly oh-my-god-it's-taking-all-my-will-power-not-to-scream-and-smack-ur-botty type behaviour. This mornings delight was a MASSiVE screaming fit over not being able to wear his buzz lightyear top as it was dirty.... Cue mega hysteria despite me calmy saying it was dirty but he could wear it tomorrow once washed. Absolutely refused to get dressed for nursery ( I meanwhile have a 19 month and 5 month old waiting) so I found myself telling him if he did not calm down& get dressed I would have to throw his buzz top out the window& the bin man woujd come and collect it. Cue more hysteria but no bloody effort to get dressed, so I had to follow thru and throw the pesky top into our yard-cue MORE hysteria, but also thankfully some clothes-putting-on too.... And mummy managed to rescue the top before the binman came as he had ( eventually) dressed himself so quickly. Honestly.... Drives u pure bonkers but thunk it must all be v normal and hopefully soon they will mature that wee bit more and we can claw back some dignity and sanity!! X

3yr olds are worse than 2 yr olds. I have always said 3 is hardest age, and I have looked aftr a lot of 3yr olds! They can be hillarious, kind and brilliant fun but can also be stubborn, bossy and rude.

I'd have said oh well next time tell me how you want it. Doesn't want it - doesnt get anything else until snack time. Starts screaming/shouting - goes out in hall until calmed down.

Just started looking after a new 3yr old, had a tough few weeks at the start ;) but 5 weeks in and she is getting my way of working and what is and isn't acceptable. I do not let her speak to me in a rude/aggressive way. If she is upset about something by all means share it but if too angry to talk properly then out and calm down. This week had no tantrums at all :)

Oh yes I can relate to this. She is bossy, rude, won't do as she's told, answers back, cheeky, won't eat previous favourites. She is very cuddly at the minute though, tells me often she loves me and she adores 9mo dse

Oh yes I can relate to this. She is bossy, rude, won't do as she's told, answers back, cheeky, won't eat previous favourites. She is very cuddly at the minute though, tells me often she loves me and she adores 9mo ds

It's so hard isn't it? Reassuring to know I'm not alone though, thanks.

He was such an easy 2 year old I think 3 has been a bit of a shock. I'm very impatient and I demand way more obediance than is reasonable. I need to reign myself in and chill with him but he's infuriating, especially when the rudeness is coupled with a total absence of concentration and refusal to listen to anything I say.

And breeeeeeathe ...