Potty/toilettraining - dry but pooing is still to be learnt

[Missmibaby]

This may be a tmi thread so please forgive. My ds has been in pants and dry for 6 weeks now. We came back from holiday and he was ready for it. He's pretty competent at pulling down his trousers and pants, sitting on toilet or potty. He still wears a nappy at night but always asks for it to be taken off in the morning so he can have a wee. So far so good. However his pooing is a different story. I think he is holding it in, but I don't know why - there is some anxiety over it. He is sporadic about making it to the toilet or potty and very often does it in his pants. My feeling this week is that I'm not putting him back into nappies (that will confuse him) but I am not going to mention it at all. If he does it in his pants so be it. I'd rather he poos than makes himself constipated. I figure he will get the idea eventually like he did with weeing. Anyone else had a similar experience? What did you do?

Sorry, I haven't a clue, but just bumping it for you - someone should know. How old is your ds?

he's 2 1/2

Missmibaby, I'm in exactly the same situation with my DS (nearly 3). He's been dry for about 3 months but has only managed one poo! (on the toilet, yesterday). I have got a rather marvellous 'story' called Poo Goes To PooLand all about why we need to poo and what happens to our poo (I think children are scared of it, as if they are losing part of them). This has helped him come round to the idea as has going on the toilet rather than his potty, for some reason. Still, he's only done it once... Do CAT me if you want a copy of this marvellous publicationX

Very common problem on here! I think all those books that say 'they get pooing first' should be flushed down the toilet. It often seems to take much much longer to 'get' it with the poo....

things that worked for us - always getting ds to try a poo at the same time of day (i.e. just before bedtime)

sticker chart with rewards very frequently!

Character pants to keep clean

DD cries hysterically about pooing, refuses to go on the toilet or potty, and if I try and force the issue, holds it in until she has a nappy on. Most of the time I have just been giving in and putting pull ups on her when she wants a poo )she won't go in her knickers either.

I even tried bribery... she was gonna have a jaffa cake bar if she pooed on the toilet or potty (I would have even given in if it had been in her knickers)... but we still have a full pack of bars

It took my dd 15 months to poo in the toilet after she was out of nappies. She used to get hysterical and scream the place down if we even suggested using the toilet. My advice would be not to do anything at the moment - just let him become comfortable with the idea of using the potty/toilet for a poo in his own time. If you would feel happy letting him have a nappy for a poo (we did, and it didn't confuse dd - it actually made her more relaxed about things) then let him know that he can ask for a nappy for a poo if he wants one.

It helps to see training for wee and for poo as two separate processes - the fact that he is ready to wee in the potty doesn't automatically mean that he's ready to poo in the potty. If she isn't emotionally ready then there's no point in forcing it. It only leads to stress for you and for him - and the more stressful things get, the less likely he is to want to use the potty.

We tried bribery (the chocolate stayed in the jar until it went past its sell-by date), star-charts (she enjoyed making it, but it made not a blind bit of difference) and everything else you can name - nothing worked because she simply was not ready emotionally. In the end it was nicer for all of us to do things on her terms until she felt ready to try.

WigWamBam, that's reassuring. My DS will hold it in all day until I put a pull-up on at night. So maybe I should let him ask for a nappy if he wants to?

Missmibaby, sorry to hijack

Much more reassuring - I was starting to wonder if I was doing the wrong thing just letting her put a nappy back on for it.

We did, it made life easier. Although dd went through a stage when she would only poo in one particular corner of one particular room of the house, and only ever immediately after a bath, so we at least knew when it was likely to be asked for!

That does sound like a good idea. I thought it would be a common problem. My ds (like most toddlers) is very independent and I don't want to push him. But his little face when he is straining is hard to watch without getting anxious for him. That's why I thought I would ignore the whole issue and just let him do it when and where he likes. I agree that he will be ready when he is ready. The idea of asking for a nappy is a good one too. I'll give this a week or two and then maybe suggest that to him. I wanted to stop talking to him about really because that's just making the poor little mite even more anxious.

My dd is going through that - 2 months of being dry (though wearing a nappy at night) but tends to hold it in rather than poo, so is going every 2-4 days. She doesn't like to do it at all at the childminder's (maybe because she uses the toilet with a seat there, rather than potty but she prefers the potty at home). I think it's just a phase she will have to go through, but I must admit to giving her prune juice every so often to make it easier for her to go and hope gravity will triumph.

Thе real reason for that, I think, is to do with habit. Doing a poo has a lot to do with habit. I know a lot of grown men who can only go at home!Children are just too used to doing a poo with a nappy on, very often standing rather than sitting or squatting. Sitting on a toilet or potty feels much too different.
My ds did it as well. And I hated getting poo out of his pants! And the nursery handing me the pants in question in a plastic bag, saying he did it again, and me feeling guilty about it, even though it wasn't my fault at all. Or his. Started doing one in his pants in front of me once, and I just managed to take him to the toilet, so he did most of it there - and from then on it was all in the toilet.
The advice I've red suggests getting them to sit on the toilet with a nappy on for a poo, then loosening the nappy gradually.
Other than that, I think getting them to do it on a potty or toilet at a much earlier age is a good idea.

Hi, Have you tried leaving him on potty etc and going out of room? tell him you will be bacj in 5. We had same problems. Ds weeing on toilet in a week. but poos in pants for 5 weeks. Then my mum had him for a fe hours. popped him on loo, and went about her chores, 3 minutes later she was called back for wiping. She made loads of fuss, i got him a treat and he has been pooing on toilet since. He still tells us to leave room, while hes doing his business, strange, but it works.