My 11 year old cousen is going to be taken into care!! I don't know what to do.

[waybuloothebelt]

Hi, my aunty is has severe authritus and many problems with both her physical and mental health. She has an 11 year old daughter who she admits she has never bonded with. She's had many partners since her daughter was born, her last partner actually abused her by giving her the wrong doses of medication and taking advantage of her bank account.

She was also quite abusive towards my cousen. My aunty was un aware of how bad things were getting as she was mostly out of it on her medication.
She has now told my mum that social services are comming tomorrow and that if she dosn't have her, she's being taken in to care.

My mum now dosn't know what to do. She is working full time and couldn't give up her job. My cousen also has behavural problems (as you might expect) and has been in trouble with the police several times. It's a hell of a lot for my mum to take on.

We can't have her as we already have a disabled daughter who needs our care and attention. We also work full and part time.

My mum is asking me what she should do and is really upset about it all. I don't know what to suggest. I wish we lived neerer and that way, we could help out by taking her out on day trips as often as we could. They live 200 miles away though.

I really don't want my cousen to go into care as she is such a lovely but very mis guided little girl. I'd love to be able to have her and turn her life around but I have to be realistic and put my own daughter first.

I'd be greatful for any advice. Thanks.

Is your mum taking your cousin an option at all? It seems like your aunt might not be the most reliable person ever, surprising that if social work thought this was an option they would have left it for your aunt to mention at the last minute.

Well, she's thinking about it. She can't believe her siwster has left it this late to tell her. She has threatened this before and it might be her way of saying "you'll have her or else!"

If social services were to consider your mum or indeed yourself as an option for your cousin then they would have contacted you themselves.

They would need to come to you and check you out and assess your suitability.

it is not down to your aunt to just "tell" anyone to have her daughter.

She did get rid of her this Christmas as she needed time on her own to enjoy her christmas. Her daughter went to her Grandmas house.
She has been told that SS are comming to put her into care and apparently she said "Care! That'll be nice. At least I'll have someone to care about me!" It's just heart breaking.

I think the appointment is to tell them she wants her to be taken in to care, not for them to actually take her.

Your Auntie would need to suggest you or your Mum as possible to provide care for her daughter childrens services will ask if there are any family members that could care for her before considering her becoming accommodated. It does sound like your Mum has alot on and they may think she would not be able to cope. Could you provide care between the two of you, if you work part time. Are there any other family members that could put themselves forward.

If not there are some wonderful foster carers around (I work with many) you could have regular contact and your Aunt could get the help and support she needs before her daughter goes home.

Off the wall idea - have you considered looking into state boarding school, then either your Mum or you having your cousin for the holidays.

That way you don't have the full time care to worry about, and your cousin gets the stability and education she needs.

I know very little about them though - this is just my idea of what I might do in your circumstances.