are toddler groups worth it?!

[mollysmum82]

My 16 month old was diagnosed with breathing problems a few months go. Every time she gets a cold this develops into a viral wheeze and she has to go into hospital for 3 days for oxygen and nebulisers. Its heart breaking to see her attached to all the machines and being in hospital disturbs her sleep so badly I'm convinced it takes her longer to recover.

I was told by the hospital children's consultant to "stop her getting a cold again" which I felt was a very difficult and unfair request. But I tried really hard, avoiding friends with children and toddler groups for a while. This definitely minimised the colds but of course I couldn't control what my husband brought back from work.

She now has a new inhaler which fingers crossed seems to be really working. The last time she had a viral wheeze she was only in hospital for a day. So I thought I would try and get her out of the house, see our friends and go to some toddler groups.

We were in the toddler group for less than an hour and the next day the cold came. She had really bad diarhrea for 7 days but was refusing all liquids and so I was having to breastfeed her every 2 hours day and night. I had to pin her down every three hours to give her the inhaler, every two hours to give her eye drops and every four hours to give her antibiotics. She was also on steroids once a day. She screamed all the way through this as she hates being messed with in this way. I just felt so sorry for her and so guilty for taking her to the group. Seven days of misery for 1 hour of fun.

So I just wanted to ask, how important do you think it is to go to these groups and see other children at this age? Do you think I'm acting irrationally trying to keep her away from all possible infection and protect her?

So sorry to moan.

Normally I would say that playgroups were very important and great for kids to learn social interaction but your situation is completely different. At the moment it sounds like you just need to focus on her health.

Hope she gets better soon.

ditto monkeyflippers
at this point they don't usually actually play with each other anyway
focus on her health and perhaps try to have the odd select playdate home for your sanity as much as hers.
Get well soon

Its a hard one. DS is exactly the same, he is 14 months and been diagnosed as asthmatic he gets a cold we end up in hospital.

Because of this we left tumble tots, mainly because when he was ill we couldn't go and were paying for sessions we couldn't use, also I found a lot of parents there took the children when ill (probably because they paid and didn't want to lose money) meaning DS would get ill.

However, other than that I don't keep him away from things (unless I know another child is ill) children will get ill and to an extent need to be exposed to things in order to build some immunity. I don't want DS to grow up thinking he can't do things because of his chest problems.

Totally unimportant. Never been to one, never will go to one.

My son gets socialization now that he's in nursery 2 times a week. I get social time other ways.

It's not you being irrational though is it? It's the advice you've been given by a consultant.
I think you should be able to discuss this with someone with a good idea of what'll be best for your DD. A little exposure now and again?/Avoid playgroups etc totally and just keep her safe?
What about when she needs to start school?

This is a particularly bad time of year though, I know that there's a lot of ear infections/coldsores etc in my DD's class at school. Maybe once we're out of the winter a bit it'll be better.

My little one (also 16mths) had a nasty bout of bronchitis after constantly picking up colds every time we went to a toddler group.

She was ill for pretty much all of Oct/Nov.

As such, I have not been to any groups since then even though she is all well again now.

According to the news, this has been a particularly bad winter for flu viruses and so I took the decision to stop going until the winter is over.

I do think toddler groups are quite important though, so have every intention of going back.

Now to decide when I should declare winter is 'over' enough for it to be safe to go back

Hmmm... could be tricky

Hi

I've struggled with this one a lot! Having said that we are in a slightly different situation: DS was very ill as a small baby(on a ventilator for 8 days, major operation, hospital for 6 weeks) after the first time he caught a virus, which would have caused a simple cold in most people. The operation was done to fix the problem which made him so vulnerable breathing difficulties, and we were told that after a few months we should be able to treat him like a normal child. We managed to avoid him catching anything for about 7 months through avoiding the baby scene and ill people. We then started doing mroe and more and he has been absolutely fine with the colds he has caught since. He is now 19 months. However, I've still got massive germ phobia, follow him around with antibac spray, and we avoid toddler groups. We spend a lot of time in the park and at playgrounds, he loves kicking a ball about, and we have seen as many grown up friends as we can persuade to take time during their working day to have lunch with us!

I am trying to be brave and do more and more though, and I think that certainly by around 2 he will benefit from more social contact with other children. I don't think they need it before then, though I think mothers often benefit from seeing other mothers, and I think that toddlers can be happier out and about doing different things.

In your case, I would probably follow the doctors advice - it sounds like she needs to be as well as possible more than she needs the toddler groups. She is still little and it is virus season.

I would invest in some good all weather outdoor gear so that you can do more stuff outdoors, and try to think of some other ways you can get social time, tbh you probably need it more than she does.

Thanks lots for talking this through with me. I think I'll give the groups a miss for a bit then and continue to see friends with children. Outdoor play is a great idea too - bring on the warm weather!