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Parenting

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Original poster

I'm really surprised by the would you leave your baby thread

63 replies

compo · 11/10/2005 10:31

wow I'm really in the minority here. So no one would leave their child fast asleep in a hotel room when they were downstairs at a wedding reception? Even if they checked on the child regularly?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

projectmanagerCOd · 11/10/2005 10:54

i think ill bow out wiht a parperooney( ot coin a tweenies phrase)

daisy1999 · 11/10/2005 10:55

oh yes Carmenere could well have been. I would still report it to the police because I'm just like that .

secur · 11/10/2005 10:57

Message withdrawn

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stitch · 11/10/2005 11:03

i regularly leave my dd in the car if she is asleep when i have topick up the boys from school. never on a warm day, let alone a hot day, and always leave the window a tiny bit open. rush in and rush out. sometimes will wait till a good fifteen minutes past the school time, so i can be definite that ds1 is out, and can then rush out.
yes, all these horror stories could happen. but i could also be hit by a car whilst crossing the street holding a sleeping or awake and very grumpy toddler. its to do with risk assessment.

last week, i woke up, petrified. dh was staying in kentt. so it was just me and the kids at home. i heard a banging. as if someone was banging on a window or a door. i live in a detached house, and evenif i screamed, i doubt the neighbours would hear. i had forgotten to bolt the front door and we dont have an alarm. what scared me the most was that i would have to go round the kids rooms, dragging them out. would i have time. who would i go to first? how could i possibly make that decision?
managed to calm down eventually, and go to sleep.

daisy1999 · 11/10/2005 11:05

I'm sure it must be illegal to leave a child unattended.

projectmanagerCOd · 11/10/2005 11:06

it woudl amount to neglect i htink

BlondeinLondon · 11/10/2005 11:10

Um well yes I have left my baby asleep in a hotel room without a baby monitor (it didn't work)

donnie · 11/10/2005 11:16

I haven't read the other thread but I would leave my child asleep in a hotel room and indeed have done on several occasions - as long as the baby listening service is working properly. I also leave both dds in the car while I pay for petrol and leave dd2 in the car if she's asleep while I drop dd1 off at nursery, car within my range of vision.It takes 2 mins.
Call the social services then!

Original poster

compo · 11/10/2005 11:16

so your saying what Stitch does is illegal and/or neglect?

OP posts:

Eaney · 11/10/2005 11:31

I think I must be really paranoid. I won't even leave My dd in buggy outside corner shop. I imagine all kinds of nasty things, but I do think it's paranoia as lots of Mums lave there babies outside shops without any problems.

Enid · 11/10/2005 11:34

i fully intend to leave my new baby unattended in the car in the school car park when I go and pick dd1 up. I wouldnt when I pick dd2 up as the car park is completely out of sight of her classroom.

I also leave them when I go and pay for petrol or if I go and post a letter.

never in the supermarket and I wouldnt during the wedding scenario either

Mytwopenceworth · 11/10/2005 11:48

I wouldn't leave my kids, especially not at their ages and with their special needs.

You may be checking every 10 minutes - but a lot can happen in 10 minutes! You may have a baby monitor, but that just means you could hear someone taking them out the room, or them flooding the ensuite, or dialing japan, or choking on a button....... they are not safe because you can hear them! if you are even only 5 minutes away from the room - what will the situation be by the time you get to them?

Also, a baby monitor is all well and good, but I find it is when there is silence that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I am filled with terror!!!

sarahsausage · 11/10/2005 11:52

Ok, so what is the difference, leaving a baby in a hotel room sleeping with a baby monitor checking in every 10 minutes and leaving baby in cot in own room with baby monitor while you sleep where you are not checking in for hours on end?!

northerner · 11/10/2005 11:56

I have said this many times before and will again. After working in the hotel industry for over 13 years I would NEVER leave my child unattended in a hotel room. Too many people have acess to the room and I have witnessed so many break ins to hotel rooms.

I wouldn't reccommend leaving any valuables in a hotel room, purse/laptop etc let alone a child. Not for one minute suggessting someone would steal your child, but imagine how you'd feel if someone broke in whilst your child was there alone. Shudder. Hotel rooms are never safe unless you deadlock the door from the inside.

Original poster

compo · 11/10/2005 11:56

"if you are even only 5 minutes away from the room - what will the situation be by the time you get to them?" - agree with Sarah, this entence could apply to the majority of people's houses

OP posts:

doormat · 11/10/2005 12:02

I couldnt leave a baby alone at all,if they couldnt come with me, dh would watch them or I would get a sitter
my youngest is now 4 and I take him with me to pay for petrol.It is not just the snatching that worries me it is they could be in danger aspect.

Mytwopenceworth · 11/10/2005 12:08

The potential hazards are different in different environments.

I don't know who can get into a hotel room - I know who is in my house.

I don't know what little bits may be in a hotel room that could get broken off and swallowed (kids find things that you miss!!) - I do know there is nothing they can choke on in my house cos I've spent years perfecting it!

I know they can't get out of my house, but I do know most hotel rooms are designed so that they can be opened from the inside anytime.

They are also less likely to be frightened at home than in the strange environment of a hotel, so more likely to sleep at home than alone in a hotel room.

and so many many more!!!

And personally, I do check on my kids all thru the night, every little bang or thud or noise and I am up!

Rhubarb · 11/10/2005 12:09

I am not a paranoid parent, I posted on the other thread that, imo, leaving a baby in an open room in a hotel, where a reception is going on, pissed people banging into things, perhaps even looking for somewhere to have a quick shag, it is not acceptable to leave a baby in these circumstances.

I once put dd to bed whilst we had a BBQ downstairs, the baby alarm was on. One of the guests, our friend, had split up with his girlfriend a couple of days before and she was there, so he got very drunk. He disappeared, I presumed, to the toilet. I heard a noise in the baby alarm and went to check. He'd stumbled into her room, turned on the light, and was lurching over her cot, almost tipping right into it! I screamed at him and threw him out of the room, dh had come up behind me and he threw the guy down the stairs whilst I checked on dd - she was fine! We didn't remain friends with him after that!

Saying that though, I have left them in this house, with the door locked and babyalarm on, whilst we went to the restaurant next door for a meal - we could fully see the house. I've also left her in a locked hotel room with the babyalarm whilst we've gone to the bar. I figure that if there is a break-in or disturbance, I'd hear it as I can hear any movement she makes.

But I would NEVER leave any of my children in a room that is accessible to other people. Even if they are your friends, you just cannot vouch for everyone's common sense.

Caligula · 11/10/2005 12:40

I think the difference is that it is in a place which is accessible not only to wedding guests, but to any old person who happens to wander into the hotel.

And tbh if I saw a pram abandoned in a public room with no one to check on the baby for half an hour, I would certainly make enquiries to the hotel staff - "er... did you know there's a baby over there?" I wouldn't do it purely and simply because some well-meaning / interfering (take your pick) hotel guest may just call the police or SS to report an abandoned baby.

Quite apart from the fact that opportunistic baby snatchers are incredibly rare, but they do exist. I think it's highly unlikely that I'd be raped and murdered if I walked the two miles from a local station to my home by myself at two in the morning, but call me neurotic, I still wouldn't do it.

staceym11 · 11/10/2005 13:21

if i was on the premisis i would have no problems leaving my baby in a locked room, but i would let the staff know she was there, in case of an emergency. as i see no difference to this than her being in her cot in her bedroom asleep all night (and the fact she could sleep for about 16hrs straight)

but i wouldnt leave my baby in a locked car by herself or in a room strangers can get to.

did anyone watch a programme about a heatwave in 2006 (yes i know its in the future it was fiction) when a grandma just left the two little ones asleep in their car seats while she popped across the road to the chemist. she was run over and couldnt tell anyone that the kiddies were in the car, they didnt find out she should have had them with them until they phoned her daughter (their mum) almost half an hour later and then they had to look for them which took another 30 mins, one of the children died from dehydration in that hour. Now i know it wasnt real but that could happen, you're not to know, i would prefer to wake my daughter up for the minute i jumped out the car than risk that!!!

lovecloud · 11/10/2005 13:28

hello

i left my toddler in a hotel room at my sisters wedding.

it was not a massive hotel, she ws up until 9 (way past her bedtime and actually asked to go to bed)

she was out like a light, we waited until she was fast asleep and then went downstairs.

we went to bed about 2am and probably checked her every hour or more! I dont see how that is bad, what about people who live in massive houses, surely they leave their babies upstairs.

saying that i would not of left her as a baby as I was too attached then to take my eyes off her but maybe from 10 months I would of used a baby monitor, they work at great distances.

Rhubarb · 11/10/2005 13:31

But Stacey! I could be electrocuted or anything in the house right now, ds would be all by himself, they would only know when I didn't turn up for dd at 4.30 this evening. If I thought like that all the time I'd wrap us all up in cotton wool and make everyone carry walkie talkies!

chipkid · 11/10/2005 13:34

I remember being left with my brother in a chalet on holiday and waking to find my parents missing-I will never forget the utter terror of being alone, feeling that my parents were not coming back and not knowing how we would get back to our home. I am 36 now and can still remember how it felt.

bosscat · 11/10/2005 13:36

northerner that's really worrying but I know what you mean. dh was in hospital recently far away from where we lived and someone was trying the door of my hotel room all night. terrified me.

weesaidie · 11/10/2005 13:41

I am certainly not paranoid but wouldn't do it just because of the hassle factor. I wouldn't want to have to keep checking every fifteen minutes or so. I'd prefer (if possible) to get a babysitter!

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