Friends wild child

[Booandpops]

Went to a school party today. Friends dc was there, lately this dc is a bit wild. Today was wrestling with Went to a party today. My friends child who has gone a bit wild was there. He was wrestling another child during the magic show. The mum of other child was trying to stop her dc but my friend ignored her child so basically the other lady is fighting a loosing battle. He kept going back for more. Then child goes around ripping decorations off the chairs. They were sellotaped so clearly not for ripping off. Again not disciplined. Few others incidents which I wont bore you with.
I went home and told dh about this and he is getting fed up with this child and doesn't want our youngest seeing him any more. It's arkward and we share a lot of child care as favours.. My child is not of an age yet where I can get him to understand that just because one child is behaving badly he can't join in. My eldest can understand this reasoning and is in the naughty Childs year group. Im very sad that this is the situation but feel I can't speak to my friend about it if I want toremain friends.As I know you can't bad mouthsomeones child and expect them to be happy But I agree with dh. I don't want my youngest copying said behaviour.

Oops seems my cut and paste gone bit wrong. Sorry

You think your child will copy the behaviour - that doesn't necessarily follow.

No my eldest doesn't copy but my youngest has done in the past and I feel really mean to keep having to punish him for behaviour he would not think of if he was on his own so we feel he should not be with the other child till he is old enough to understand the difference. It's too much grief!

How old is the 'naughty' child you are referring to? I agree that the mum should step in, but not that the child is a 'naughty child'.

Some children are like this, particularly my almost 3yr old. He has beags of energy and hence plays wild- but I do ensure he doesn't hurt others or annoy people too much.

IMO running round ripping decorations off the chairs whilst a magic show is not playing a bit wildly, it's being naughty. Unless said child is two in which case it should be firmly told no the first time he does it and then held on a lap.

If he's doing something like that I would say to my younger child 'No X we don't copy bad behaviour'. If he wants to know why he's not allowed to do something that X is, just say 'you do what your Mummy says, X does what his Mummy says'. They seem to work it out for themselves after a while. You might have to stop hanging round with them a bit if she doesn't tell her kid off at all.

This is always a tough one isn't it.

You put the effort in but your friend doesn't. ie sitting on her arse while he is fighting during a magic show pretending it's all cool when lets face it, she just knows she can't deal with him properly so everyone else has to just put up.

Ive been there. Friends DS, 2.5 was really violent (but his mum thought nothing of slapping him in public) with my 18 month DS. MY DS was really scared of him and cried when I reached her door.

He started becoming scared of all children so I had to speak to her.

We fell out, which is the risk I had to take for his sake.

In your case, it depends on how much it effects your children I guess.

You will find yourself when enough is enough if it gets to that. I feel your pain though!

My eldest and the disruptive child are nearly six. Hence my eldest knows not to copy. My youngest who worships disruptive child has just turned three. So very difficult to explain he can't do something. I end up feeling like the bad guy and youngest gets upset he can't join in

Say loudly, 'No DS , we dont pull the decoartions off, that is naughty behaviour' in the vicinity of you're friend.

What I meant about the child not being a 'naughty child' is because it's not nice to label children, you should always say the behaviour is naughty and not the child. And really, it's not the child's fault, it's the bloody lazy mother.

It's up to you, you can either keep teaching your DS right from wrong when he tries to copy or you can avoid the friend. It's your call really. I don't think you would be being unreasonable to try to make your own life easier.

Didn't anyone else at the party discipline the 6 year old for her though? Most mums I know would not have an issue with calling a child up on their behaviour if it was disruptive.

Your friend, that should say.

Shamechanger. I agree with your post. I will have to be firm with my youngest and also distance them for a bit. Distruptive dc hasn't always been this bad so I'm hoping it will pass but the older this dc gets the more I worry he won't learn values. He once told my husband who was helping him on a swing to " shut up you stupid idiot". And the Childs father laughed and said a light hearted comment about this! If my child had said that to another adult we would have gone mad at them!!! So my blame doesnt really lie with child as he has not been given guidelines on acceptable behaviour IMO. Hoping school will sort him out.