when is too soon for a second baby?

[MacMomo]

DD one month old, I have one year maternity leave.

DH just told he has to go to the US for work for 2-3 years from this summer. If I want to go too, I will have to be on maternity leave again as soon as possible.

If I get pregnant again in July-September this year, that will be 7-9 months after giving birth (I had a CS which is healing very well). I have just turned 36.

What are the pros and cons to such short spacing, in your experiences MNers? thanks

I'd be surprised if anyone recommended a 2nd pg post c-section within a year - 18 months. Ther eare risks with internal scars which take longer to heal fully. 2 lo s (ie under 2's) would be hard work especially if you are living away from any family support and in another culture. Woudl the company fund health insurance to cover pg as it would eba preexisting condition ? It is unlikely you could cover this period with just ml anyway (and you would n't get much smp unless you return in between). Could you ask for a career break (so if you were to come back in 3 years you'd preserve service-based entitlements) instead ?

Can you afford to leave work? Seems a big ask to expect him to relocate for a couple of years. Why don't you move there permanently?

Mine are 15 mths apart - not planned, but has worked out well, although it was hard work when they were little.

i got pregnant 6 months after my csection and it was ok.
the section was fine, they let me push for two hours for my second labour too which is a proof that my cs was ok.
but a 6 months gap is very short and i had bad spd for the last three months of my second pregnancy.
age gap is great!
good luck

Not for me had 3 years gap and perfect with DS2 being a complete wild child the thought of having a baby at the same time sends me into shudders!!!

Had 16mth gap - very hard work but boys now 2.7 and 15 mths and it's great but I would think very very hard about it. I couldn't have got through it without a lot of support from my family (they lived two hours away).

The recommnendation is to leave 18m between birth and conception if you've had a c-section.Sometimes you see 12m quoted,but certainly you need time.I left 18,got pregnant first night of trying and still ended up with another c-section due to concerns about my scar.The scar wall was very thin according to the surgeon.I would talk to an expert before considering conceiving faster than a year after birth,as scar rupture can be fatal.

er..recommendation.

Lizs yes, good point about being away from family support, that will make a difference. We are both public sector employed so we get basic health care in the states which will cover the cost of c-section if I need another one. ML for a second child would cover me for another 12 months, until about 6 months before dh comes back here. Career break is an option but with a massive wave of redundancies coming it would put me first in line. Can't resign as under contract for another three years.

The only alternative I can see is that I stay here with DD, but what will that do to the family/marriage?

hellymelly I didn't know that, thanks for the advice - can they somehow check that your scar is ok to get pg again? Sorry if that sounds a stupid question!

I don' know anything about issues with strength of internal scar - is it something you could ask for factual information on at your 6 week check?

You do need to think about the quality of healthcare in your destination country, in case anything does make it high risk. Also if it has an insurance system, will it be provided by the employer and does it cover everything?

A friend of mine found herself in these circumstances, she was advised to wait a year, but oopsed when DC1 was 9 months. She was fine and had a VBAC in the destination country without any dramas.

But it was very hard on her. She said she was exhausted, even before anaemia set in. And she said the first six months or so with two was a daze.

But she did go on to have a third - but after a 3year gap that time round!

I got pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was just over 3 months old and have a gap of a year and 3 days. Both were emcs but had no problems with the recovery from either op. It's not ideal for everyone but worked well for us, and the boys get on very well. Got all nappies and sleepless nights out of the way in one go! Left it 8 years before having dd tho! Doctors do recommend leaving a gap of at least a year from section to conceiving again as far as I know.

I have a gap of 11 months between my Dc, but eldest one wasn't a C-Section. I actually found my 2nd pregnancy much easier than my first!

It was hard work when DD was born, but it did gradually get easier. I think it's hard no matter what the gap is - I look at my friends who have 2/3 years between their DC and they find it equally as tough. DS is at primary school now and DD starts this year so I am actually considering having another one now

I don't know if a scan would show how the scar is progressing or not.Maybe pay to have a private consult with a good surgeon? There were no issues with my scar until I was in labour and I had a lot of intense pain in the scar itself.After the surgery the surgeon visited me and said it was a really goood thing that I'd had another c-section as the scar wall was so thin.I was 43,so I don't know if that affects how long the scar needs to really knit well,or if it was just luck.I have a much thicker feeling lumpy scar now after two c-sections but maybe that too is usual? Most birth books do mention not conceiving too soon after a section because of the extra strain on the scar.

I conceived my latest DC via IVF 9mths after a c-section. No one - not in the NHS nor the private clinic - had any issues with my conceiving so soon after a cs. I am 42 and will be having an ELCS this time too.

I had a EMCS with DC1 and got pregnant again when she was 9 months old (this was planned!). Noone mentioned to me any problem with this gap. I had a EMCS with DC2 as well but no major probs. All I would say is that the second time the pain afterward was A LOT worse. Not sure if this was due to the small gap or if i was just lucky first time round. In terms of having a newborn and toddler to look after I found it realy hard at first (more difficult for me than going from no children to 1) but you just get on with it if you have to! I agree its probably hard whatever the gap is - twice as likely for one of them to be awake at night/ill/ crying if you have 2 to look after! - but worth it all to see them interatcing with each other. I would agree with what others have said about family support - i don't know how we would have managed without this during the early days (and now still). Good luck with making a decision.