I need to know if I am just making a nuisance of myself regarding ds and this friendship

[redsteel]

Hi
It has been geting to me for a while now.
However ds has a favourite mate at school thye get on very well together and have been friends since reception now in year 5 both aged 10.
When ds wants his mate to come over to ours I usually text the mates mother but she hardly ever replies to me.
I know that she gets my text as sometimes when I have phoned her she will say something like I did get your message but I was just texting my mate then I was going to text you.
However on numerous occasions she simply has not answered at all.
I know that people on here would prbably ask why I invite by text but I find it less intrusive if that makes any sense and on the rare occasions that she may have asked my ds to come over she has invited by text also.
I must stress that I have always been the one to do the running and kept the realtionship going.
I am finding myself getting paranoid that she has no interest in keeping their relationship close and that maybe she doesn,t see my ds as a friend for her ds.
I feel this way because of the lack of replies so what do you think would you give up on this friendship or not or am I being daft.
I would hate it if I am making myself look desperate to keep their freindship alive and I am being a pain in the neck.
Her ds is always keen to come by the way but I am owndering if their is a reason for her lack of replies.
I never see her at the schhol she works fulltime and her ds is always in after school club.

sorry about the spelling mistakes I typed it in a rush

The boys should phone each other and arrange play dates, with you just hanging about in the background to double check your DS knows for sure what is and isn't okay by you. It's up to the other lad to verify with his parents, too.

I am used to experienced at being blown off by parents who actively dislike my DC, although the other mom sounds indifferent she doesn't sound any worse than that.

Is it possible that the other Mum just feels she cannot reciprocate with inviations back to her house as she works full time etc? So she just feels embarrased in always sending her DS to you?

Alternatively, perhaps when she is home she likes to do family things with her DS as she works out of home at all other times?

I think the boys are old enough now that they start arranging things with each other and then running it past you. Easier all round.

Hand over the inviting to the boys, gaining your permission of course that's it's convenient on that day. He's old enough ime to pick up the phone and say 'fancy coming over to play?" Maybe the other mother doesn't really get involved in her son's other friendships?

Yes ragged I had thought about them sorting it out themselves less pressure for me.
I don,t expect invites back for ds although it would be nice for him. I am happy enough for her ds to come to ours.

I am hopeless at responding to texts!

How often is your ds inviting her ds over? If its more than, say, once per half term, the other mum might possibly think that he doesn't have enough time for other friends?

its probably every 3 weeks

Gosh yes at that age they can sort out their own arrangements. My DS is 10 and I wouldn't want him getting used to me making all his arrangements for him, it's part of growing up, imo.

Couls she just be a little slack about social friendships? She could just be happy that you do the chasing. She could feel guilty that she doesn't return the visits ( but I am with you - I don't tally up return visits). She works full time and it might reduce the time she can invite your son over.

I would just continue as you are... They will be making their own arrangements soon.

Well, one of DS's best friends mum texts me to ask if friend can come to ours for tea

I work part-time and I end up being a bit reticent with arranging for children to come over to play. I was brought up to spend a lot of time with my family and not so much time with friends (a shame really). So, what with work and two kids, I always feel that my "level" for the amount of socialising I want to organise is much lower than that of other people. I know a lot of friends feel that I´m antisocial or not interested in them. But it really isn´t that. It´s just that I feel I need more time for myself and with my kids on my own - when I´m not working. Personally, I do appreciate it when people realise that (I do sometimes try to explain it to people so they realise I really like them!) and can respect it and not hold it against me. Maybe this is the same with the friend´s mum.