Mealtimes with toddler and baby

[putthekettleon]

Ever since I started weaning DD2 (7 months), DD1 (2.9) has become a nightmare at mealtimes. Refusing to eat, throwing food on the floor, just generally being an attention-seeking little madam.

I get that it's just because she sees me feeding the baby and thinks she's getting more attention, and I have really tried to make mealtimes fun, praise good behaviour, get her involved in helping to feed her sister etc. Sometimes it works but a lot of the time it doesn't.

Her latest trick is emotional blackmail, it seems! Yesterday she was refusing to eat so I was ignoring her and concentrating on feeding DD2. Then DD1 started asking for cuddles. I ignored her and then she starts talking to herself in a really sad little voice saying 'mummy won't give me cuddles. I don't know why. It makes me sad', and so of course that got me and I did give her cuddles then felt like I'd caved in....

What would you do? I don't want her to think my affection/cuddles etc are only conditional on her behaving herself. But at the same time she needs to learn to eat her food and everyone says the best way is to not cajole and push, just leave them to get on with it and ignore them...

I just feel so sorry for DD2 as it always ends up with me spoon-feeding DD1 and ignoring DD2. I also find it really hard to switch between 'stern mummy' for DD1 and 'happy mummy' for DD2 to get her excited about eating and try to make her enjoy mealtimes.

Arrgghh, I'm going round in circles! Sorry for the long post, anyone got any tips?

I know she's young, but is dd2 any good at finger food? My dd refused to be spoonfed at about 7-8 months, so I just put pretty much the same stuff as ds (3) was eating in front of her and let her get on with it. I think this is officially baby led weaning although not really my orginial intention!

Maybe if even just one meal a day you are not spoonfeeding dd2, and can sit and eat / chat with dd1, it might make things easier for her. Ds definitely went through a phase of wanting to be spoonfed when dd was, which I think is understandable - the older ones seem so big when the next one comes along, but they are still babies really.

Thanks for the reply, yes DD2 is pretty good with finger food and generally has a bit of both, so I can feed myself too! It's more I feel I should be giving DD2 more attention at mealtimes instead of telling off DD1 or quietly seething.

Today when DD1 wouldn't eat her food I said can DD2 have it then? She giggled and said yes, but once she realised DD2 would happily eat her food too she soon changed her mind about wanting to eat it!