SAHMs, do you have a daily/weekly timetable printout for your toddlers? How detailed is it?

[BelfastBloke]

If you're staying at home with the kids, how important is structure (for you more than them)?

What does your timetable look like?

Belfast bloke, when DP looks after DD he needs what you do- structure, timetable etc. This lets him feel in control and not like his brain is melting with panic.

I like to do as little as possible and be more spontaneous.

Why don't you make a sort of schedule board? Make up some picture cards of different activities and then put them on the wall in the morning with your DCs in order. Don't forget to make a 'surprise' card which gives you some flexibility (ie lets you think of something at the last minute), and make cards for home-based activities like playing with lego, watching DVD etc. Kids need downtime.

You can then change the order if you want.

Do what works best for you and yours.

tethersend - what a great idea about the schedule board. Where were you during my year with 3 preschoolers ?

Not writeen down, just done it for years. I have 6 kids to organise. LOVE structure, LOVE knowing I get a guranteed 2 hour break in the afternoon. During half term the routine is out of the window(aprt from night bed-time)- the children are flexible as to when and where they sleep/eat.

7 am wake
7.30 breakfast
8.30 leave for schol run
9.15 playgroup or visit friends with younger ones.
10.30 snack
12.00 lunch
12.30 tv for kids- me house work
1pm nap for kids- me rtelaxing/phone calls
3pm wake up
3.30 school run
4.30 make dinner while kids mess the house up
5pm dinner
5.30opm tv
6.30 youngest kids in bed
7pm eldest in bed
7.30 kids free-zone, me wine and TV

Weekend- FREE FOR ALL ( expect bed which is 3o mins later)

not written down but i have a schedule of activities every day and i really try to stick to it because i like the structure. so other outings, activities etc i work around that so we dont miss our regular ones normally.
then we have bedtime and meals at roughly the same time daily but i give a bit of flexibility

mix match of daily school runs, mid day sleeps, toddler groups on two mornings, then a couple of free days to meet up with friends, food shop or do day trips depending on weather.

I don't have it written on a spreadsheet or anything but I do have a weekly plan which combines work (I work from home PT) and toddler groups/activities etc. Our days are very similar to others above, with some childcare on 3 days. So... we have 4 scheduled days (with some flexibility) and 1 more free day (Friday). Works for us. I would go bonkers be bored if we stayed at home all the time or were just 'free flow', so I sympathise.

Lol at 'quick nod to DH'. Ah, married life with children :)

My DH is being left alone with our DS on Saturday and has asked ms to draw him up a timetable!

I pretty mch do the same as porcupine.

I think that it the one time that they don't need a timetable, so make the most of it.

They may not need a timetable, but I do. Too easy to let the day drift.

And meal planning makes a lot of sense, both financially and nutritionally.

Naps, meals and bed are reasonably regular although they vary according to earlier / later waking etc.

I find the day is one big whizz of trying to get some jobs done around the house, let DS do some of the things he loves (eg standing on the windowsill / playing in the sink) and trying to get out once.

I really wish I could get down to meal planning as my life would be much easier!

Meal planning we do to a high level - admittedly mainly driven by dd1s food allergies so we can't necessarily just share our food with her, but even so it really works for us. We do enormous batches of toddler meals for the freezer (we have a 6 litre slow cooker and do about 26 portions per batch of whatever) - we have a whole freezer in the garage just for the kids food!

It means that I never need to think about what to do for lunch (which is when they have their main hot meal), and also I can have it in front of them within 5 mins of getting back home - very important with hungry toddlers about to go into fullscale meltdown! Definitely recommend it.

lordy I bet people actually do this

how hard can it be to do a bit of housework, change a nappy and feed them?

Belfastbloke - I see where you're coming from, but some drifting is inevitable with young children who are world experts in faffing! I think you need a basic list of 'must dos' like meals, naps, some chores and at least one quality play session with the kids, then not worry too much if not everything gets done that you intended.

Have you recently started being a sahd? I think it's very different to paid work in that there aren't such obvious and measurable achievements, and so easier to think perhaps you're not doing so well. I know I find my 2 days at work immensely easier than my ones at home (but also not so much fun!).

This time last year, when I had a 1yr old and a 3yr old, things were fairly free-flow, as the oldest was only at preschool for 2 mornings a week. I always tried to get out of the house in the morning for some kind of activity, then home in the afternoon for nap/quiet time. If we hadn't left the house by 10am, DS would be bouncing off the walls (and so would I to be honest, didn't really get to grips with the 'staying at home' bit of SAHM-dom...)

Now DS is at school, our routine is more set up around the school run. I find it a lot easier to potter around the house doing jobs/playing with DD (2) than I did having to mediate between the two of them. Now I only have one fixed activity day (toddler group). Also I have recently started working one day a week.

You are running a home and family, not a nursery school

I used too have a fairly set 'schedule' to stop me going insane when i was at home with two prescholer

We went to music group on Monday morning, then home, lunch, nap, play, bed

On Tues morn we went to Tumble tots, afternoon as monday

On wednesday we used to visit people/stay home and clean

On thur morn we went to toddler group and thur late afternoon went to soft play

On fri I went to the gym once they were big enough fo the creche

We used to see the same mums and kids at the activities and so had someone to chat to, it started when ds was born and dd wasnt quite 2 and he slept/ate everything better as he was routined. I found getting up an out and talking to other people really helped make the days seem fun

Now i have dd in school and ds at nursery and dh work, me in uni we have a very complicated google calendar that rules our lives. But we see an empty day as a huge treat whereas back then it filled me with dread!

Identify all your local resources: playgroups, decent parks/playgrounds, library, swimming pool, sure start etc. and find out what they offer for toddlers. If any take your fancy sign up.

I personally find it is easier to have a few scheduled things: (at the moment we do Tues swimming, Wed music class (both with Mummy) and friday two hours of pre-school (away from Mummy), they may only use up a few hours of the whole week but they do give you something to plan around (and get you out of the house mixing with other people!). Also good to leave yourself a couple of days with nothing on so you can plan day's out or invite friends over to play.

Identify what times of day you can get out and do things, having regular lunch, dinner and nap times will make this easier.

Have a mental list of activities you can bring out if stuck at home, such as playdoh, puzzles (keep them in a cupboard so they are 'new' each time), baking cakes, lego, sticker books, colouring, magnets on a baking tray.

Try and keep the house generally tidy as you go and just blitz once or twice a week, if they are keen get kids to help with clean up, dusting, sorting washing, recycling etc.

Kids also like running errands so take them to the post office, bank, supermarket etc (just not everyday or they will get bored quickly).

Have decent rain gear for all of you so you can go out in any weather.

We have a vague routine but the only time i've ever written one down was when we hired our nanny, and the DT's were babies then so it's moved on now anyway.

We're in London so I try and keep a look out for exhibitions/ things to do that the DT's will enjoy, and either I or our Nanny takes them.

We also have a book with the addresses of successful, permanent activities such as swimming, Science museum, oft play times ect.. which we tend do dig out on a rainy day.

Now the DT's are in Nursery we are doing slightly less 'structured' activities as they are shattered by the end of it, but DD2 gets taken to a mother and baby group each week and our Nanny takes her out most days to meet her friends and their charges, even if its just for a quick walk.

Generally as long as we have the double buggy (so one of them can ride along with DD2 if they get tired) and lots of snacks we are fine, but DD2 really does need her naps. I make sure they do something every day, even if its just a walk to look at the toys in Harrods which is their current favourite activity , but this is mainly for my sanity as it means we all get dressed and up! :o

I'm with you, BB. Knowing what your milestones are through the day can really help to balance all the demands. It also makes it easier for 'helpers' to slot in.

My tips to sanity:

1. meal planning and slow cooking saved my life. By dinnertime I'm knackered. Improvising/ feeding / cleaning at this low point pushes me over the edge. My personal rule is 'no cooking after 12.00'. Dinner is either in the slow cooker, or some kind of salad thing, or a pasta bake made up ready to stick in the oven. That gives me a fighting chance to not have the house a bomb site by the end of the day.

2. I second getting out early. Low ambition outings are fine, but fresh air really helps. I'd say leave House before 9 at all costs.

3. I have clothes on hangers in outfits, and always have a grab bag with nappies and snacks to hand, to help me get out. The morning routine involves a picture chart illustrating what constitutes 'ready'. For my 4 yr old it is clothes ; eat ; teeth; shoes; in that order. I don't let them slack until they're done, then put them out to th garden as a reward (I find it inhibits getting undressed when my back is turned

In general re: routines, Keep It Super Simple, but consistent. When the kids anticipate the next stage, they are more cooperative

I actually feel a bit pathetic saying this but i DO have a timetable, i could cope without it!
I write a plan the night before in this form

6:30-7:30 kids up dressed washed
7:30-8:30 dd1 to school
8:30-9:00 ds1 and dd2 tv time dd3 nap

Etc etc

If something comes along to change it that's fine i just pick it up when i can.
I would just go round in circles not knowing what to do.
I'll go rock in a corner now...

Thanks for all your responses,'twas really interesting. I'm no stranger to this SAH lark, but things are different with two, and my focus can slip