school work aaargghh!

[Spandangle]

my dd has always appeared to be very bright and at nursery she was in an 'advanced group' for those children that they considered were really ready to start school. She is now in year 1 and is gradually working her way down the ability groups!!! I always thought that I wouldnt be a pushy mother and at this age her attitude to learning is more important than her academic acheivement BUT I'm really worried. her class teacher says she is really keen in class but she stays in some breaks to do extra work and is sent home with stuff she is struggling with.
The problem is I cant engage her at home AT ALL!! she is FAR moree interested in playing and her friends etc...as soon as she finds something a bit difficult she gives up. I've tried loads of different media - work books, computer programmes, dvds, pratical demos,etc etc. I am not so patient but my dad is - he has tried repeatedly to help her but says she just wont concentrate. he says not to push the issue - she wont learn unless she actually WANTS to. All her friends are in the top groups - i'm just worried if she underachieves she will become disenchanted...at such an early age!

I DO realise all kids are not destined to be academically brilliant and there is more to life etc etc but I do want her to achieve her potential and make sure that I dont let her down....any ideas or experiences?!

thanks

Goodness, just let the poor girl play at home, that's what being a child is all about.

She can learn at school. It doesn't matter if she's not in the top set, you'll do more damage by pushing the issue than by just letting her be.

yeah - i kind of agree...but she does express her own concerns that 'she finds it hard', 'her friends can do sums quicker' 'her friends have neater writing' etc etc

She's probably tired if she's doing work in break time.

Your dad sounds wise - don't push her when she's so small. By all means lead her - not with work books etc but by doing interesting things. Kids can learn when they think they are just having fun, by being curious about the natural world.

Is there something she particularly struggles with?

Why are they making her stay in at break? That's like a punishment isn't it?

She's still little and it's no big deal. Just let her play. She can learn a lot through playing and just doing everyday things with you, ask her to write you a shopping list because you're busy looking in the cupboards for instance, then when shopping ask for her help in adding, or deciding which is cheaper etc. All valuable literacy and numeracy skills.

Don't push too hard, that's what will make her disenchanted with learning.

yes -she struggles with the 3 R's! she likes applied stuff - science, geography etc and loves museums etc but she doesnt retain info very well.

i just know how hard to can be if she doesnt get the basics - plenty of kids slip through school barely able to read and write....

she doesnt stay in every break....she WANTS to! i think its an option for them..
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Is she having trouble with friends/playground stuff?

jaffa- those are good ideas, i think she'd respond to that...

freudian - no, its not about that, she is VERY social. i think she just wants to do better, she likes praise from the teacher, which is why i think she stays in if given the chance....

Have your school signed up to mathletics or spellodrome? I know my dd's been on those sites but I can't remember what year it was she started, maybe Recep or Yr1. They are FAB for motivating them as they earn certificates they can print off and take in to give to their teacher.
Anything like that is good, practical stuff too. You can get some great number and letter games in the ELC that really help them along, in a less direct way - they think they're playing when they're actually learning.

i will ask about that jaffa, thanks

Is she five years old?

yes she is 5

I have a ds 7(Y3) and I currently volunteer in his school and have worked with Y1 children for the last 3yrs. The groups children are allocated may change throughout the year the teacher will assess how each child is doing and move groups accordingly. If dd is having difficulties isn't it better that her teacher has noticed and has put her in a group with work that is right for her ability rather than being in a higher group where she will struggle with the set work? She may not stay in this group she could be moved up. I also help children who struggle to read on a 1-1 basis do you know if dd gets any 1-1 help? Your dd is only five some of the children will already be six so may be ready to do harder work than dd please don't feel that you've have failed her because you seem to be a great Mum who is doing everything to help dd.:)

My own ds and a lot of other children coming into year 1 have found the transition between reception where the work is more play based and Y1 where work is curriculumn based difficult as there is a lot more written and number work and less play it takes them a little while to adjust they have only just been to school for 1 term so it's still early in the school year so try not to worry:)

As for homework govt guidelines state that children in Y1 are only supposed to do an hr a wk including reading there home reading book. Have you tried doing her work at different times? As she will be tired when she first comes in from school and may need a break before starting I always started work that had to be in during the week at 5pm so ds had time to relax when he came in or could you do some work at a weekend so her nights are free mornings when the brain is more awake would be best. My ds still struggles writing the thoughts he has down on paper so I write down what he has said or sit with him and sound the words out to help with spelling. A lot of the work in Y1 is copied from the board so don't be affaid of helping dd by getting her to think of an answer and write things down for her to copy.

I think the thing most likely to turn a 5 year old off learning is someone putting pressure on them to do better. The fact that she was in top set at nursery is irrelevant - children learn at different rates. We had a child who was on the gifted programme at 6 but at 8 is no longer on it - the rest of the class just caught up. We also had a child who was in "top set" for everything but had to have extra handwriting support, again it's no big deal.

I think it's great to encourage learning at home but it has to be child led. Our kids have those horrible science kits, we have a telescope, a microscope, bug catching kits, nature spotting books.......things that encourage learning but without actually siting down at the table and learning. All my children read aloud to me daily, at least a page but they can choose the book. We practice spellings and do the homework and also use websites such as Natural Geographic and cbbc to do projects and things.

You obviously want the best for her and that's great......but she is only 5!! Let her find her interests and strengths in her own time. Not everyone can be in topset for everything but there will be something she excels at, whether it is spellings, science or sport.

5 is very very young.

My little boy is 5 and in year 1. He is not in the top 'colour group' but his friends are. It does not seem to be an issue to them - not sure they are aware of 'streaming' really. I do feel he will probably catch up. He reads well but doesn't like writing. I don't do any thing but his reading at home and he chooses to write [inappropriate!] shopping lists at home. I am concentrating on him being well behaved and happy at school. He is keen but not as mature as some and I feel pushing at this early stage would be a mistake. Just be careful... don't want to make your dd anxious..

My 8.5 yr old struggled with reading until last summer. Then she had breakthrough during summer hols (reading her own books in bed). She got 1-1 help last year, and that teacher said it just needed to 'click' for her. She is above agerage in reading ability this year.

During the time she was finding it difficult, we also experience push back from her on reading homework, wanting to give up when she couldn't do it.

One thing we did do was make sure there were lots of books available to her. And read to her almost every night.

This is a bit broad but up til about 8 years of age its anyones game. Children develop at different rates and take leaps at different stages. Somethings just need to be practiced and repeated then one day the penny drops. Just dont force her. The teacher is clued into her and is keeping you informed. Do the homework but keep all extra work informal. It would be best to keep all work at home informal and fun. This is esp easy with maths work (baking, cooking, boardgames etc). There are great sites online for literacy (starfall is one) and loads of games. Some childrens comics have workbooks in the middle that most love to do and dont see as work at all. You could also try little craft projects like card making - great for motor skills, organisation, planning, creativity and writing! And its a fun thing to do with you so everyone wins!Its a fine line but keep your eye on her and encourage her without pushing.

My daughter is hopeless with homework...says she cant do it, doesn't understand. Found out she's pulling a fast one! She is doing very well at school...she just cant be botherd at home as she wants to play. 5 is very very young. Dont push it, she'll be fine.

thanks everyone for your experiences. Specially reassured by sharon & MCos. Yes, she likes being read to alot...so i'll just keep at that and lay off trying to get her to do it.

letting her do it in her own time/ kids develop at different rates...is really the philosophy that i believe in/ started out with...i think I am just panicking and loosing sight. You've given me back some perspective. Some times I worry I dont do enough 'supporting her learning' as I am not a stay at home mum; i work full time hours (but early so I am home after school). I worry I dont have as much time and patience as other mums, and maybe wasnt being as effective as I need too