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Parenting

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Struggling husband

1 reply

Limy · 25/01/2011 10:28

My wonderful hubby is finding being a new dad very hard, to the point that he is feeling very down most of the time. We have even had a few tears and he is not usually emotional, in fact he normally hides his feelings. He has told me he does not know how he feels about our five week old daughter, altough he knows he cares about her. He feels like he has not done enough to help because he is yet to change a nappy and he does not deal with bodily fluids that well. I think he has done a great job in supporting me so far, he has helped out with the feeding and looks after her whilst I have a bath to give me some time to myself but he still does not think he has done enough. We had a bad start - I was induced twice but it did not work and was in hospital a week before they decided to break my waters, the birth itself was not straight foward and by the end of it all we were both very tired. I think this has caused most of the problems. How can I help him see that he is doing a good job? Does anybody know of any Dad support groups/sites that I can direct him to - I am sure he is not alone on how he feels.

OP posts:
Threaders · 25/01/2011 10:51

I'm a new Dad (DD is 6 months old) and although I can't offer advice of good support groups etc, I can say that by continuing to reassure him, you will be helping. I have friends who, like your DH, got completely lost in the fog of the newborn stage. Their wives/partners just kept reassuring and encouraging them to take an active role in bathtimes/bedtimes/nappy changing and bit by bit it all came together.

If, however, you suspect your DH is verging on the depressed side, then speak to your own GP in the first instance and ask for their advice on going forward. Try to nip it in the bud if you sense things could spiral out of control without outside help.

Good luck, and congratulations on your little one!

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