Grief about babies growing up - am I loopy?

[ExistentialistCat]

I've got two DDs, aged 18 months and 4 months. For many reasons, it makes sense to stick to two children and I'm 90% certain that we won't have any more.

I've been enjoying every new stage of each DD's development so much. It's wonderful to see them grow, and so far it's just been getting better and better.

So why this ridiculous tearfulness at the thought that they are growing up so quickly? Especially since even my big girl is still very small, really?!

It's just hitting me quite suddenly. I saw a newborn baby at soft play this morning and it was such a shock to realise that DD2 is definitely not a tiny baby anymore. I've been weeping into the sleepsuits she's outgrown.

Am I losing my marbles? Is this hormones talking, wanting to make me broody again? Or just the effect of chronic (and ongoing) sleep deprivation?!

Aw, I have dd1 2.9 yr and dd2 5 months and I felt the same as you OP....

Until now that dd2 has hit sleep regression/constant feeding and 5 months of sleep deprivation is just tooooo long. That has put paid to the broodiness, I can tell you! It's just not cute any more.

Oh its painful isn't it? I am 47,I had my dds late,my youngest is 3,and last year particularly it hit me hard as I know I really can't have any more now.I'm actually happy with my two,but it still hurts!

So it's been over a decade @ExistentialistCat and I was wondering how you feel now that you are in the teenage years? What advice can you give those of us looking on and in mourning? I am really struggling with it all. Wondering if you have any wisdom and if you've come out the other side?