14 year old son

[lexyj]

I have an incredibly intelligent 14 year old son (he has just been given Gifted and Talented status), who is not interested in mixing socially but is able to make acquaintances/friends. Mentally he is like an old man trapped in a young body. He has always been this way and I have always tried to socialize him but now he is older I can't make him. At times he also acts like a child much younger (8 or 9 years) and in a manner that is hard to understand and very frustrating. Its almost as if he has no idea how a 14 year old boy should act? When he was 3 or 4 I had fleeting thoughts that he may be very mildly autistic? 3 years ago his dad, my husband died very suddenly, so life has not been easy for him and he has struggled big time.
Please has anybody any ideas as to what I can do to help him and does this sound like autism? I just want to see him happy and playing with kids his age, not always stuck in the house.
Can anyone tell me if they have the same problem please and how to handle it?
Many thanks

Hi Lexy Im afraid I dont have much insight but I didnt want your post to go unanswered. My brother (15) lives with us and im just flying by the seat of my pants trying to learn on my feet how to deal with teenagers! Its tough going and hormones are lethal! Is there any group that could offer you advice - support for gifted children etc? I think you should look down that line or speak to your gp and see what steps they would recommend. Maybe if he met one or two more like him he might find it easier? Hope you get some answers x

What was his upbringing like?

Was your DH an intellect always encouraging him?
Are you?
Maybe he is just very intelligent and feels uncomfortable around peers his own age as they are nowhere near as intelligent therefore they are alien to him.

I almost see it in one of my sons friends and they are 3.5!

X is very intelligent. He can read, write a bit, say and read the alphabet, count and read the numbers.

This boy and my son have been friends within a group of 6 since birth.

X clearly can't handle all the silliness when they are all together and seperates himself from all of them.

He doesn't jump about like a loon like the rest of them, he'd rather sit with books.

X also goes to the same nursery as my DS and he is described as a loner (sadly) by the teacher.

He can only play well with my DS as he is a good speaker and calmer (slightly) than the other kids. My DS can do NONE of the things X does though.

I don't find X strange or autistic. I see he is very intelligent and years ahead of his peers and I can imagine this will effect him and leave him confused as to where he fits in.

His mum was also so intelligent that she was given a scholarship to go to one of the best private schools in Edinburgh by age 12.

I imagine at 14, your son swings from 8-9 yrs old to an adult because he has never been able to 'find' himself in his own age group.