Decision to have a 2nd child?

[Paperbag]

When did you decide to have (or start longing for) a second child? I have a 8 month old DS and people are already starting to ask when we will be having another DC. I haven't even really decided whether to have one or not! (Mainly because my labour was a bit horrid and it's taken me quite a few months to contemplate the possibility of going through it again.)

Did you have a plan of when to have your next DC and decide in advance or did the longing just hit you?

And what do you say to the nosey buggers who you don't really know people who say 'oooh, you must be thinking about having another one soon'?

Sorry, that's a bit of a ramble about my wonderings about the benefits of more than a single child!

Hi.

I didn't/havn't felt ready until now and DS ia 2yrs 6mths. I think in all honesty i had PND first time round and it took along time for me to feel like me again.

When people asked me i used to say something light hearted like 'maybe when i learn how this one works' etc.

excuse typo's!

OP I am in the same situ, my DD is 11mo and people often ask us when number two will be along - I had an epic labour, loads of bits and pieces of health probs afterwards, and then PND to cap it all off. I simply say "maybe never"!!!

There is no way I would try for another one until a) I am off the ADs b) DD is consistently sleeping through c) we are no longer living on the second floor and d) I REALLY want another baby!

It is funny though that people feel it is ok to ask, it doesn't bother me but how bloody nosy?!

I was very scared of having a second for numerous reasons. There is nearly a 4 year age gap between them and I caught first month.

I knew I wanted two and didn't want a huge gap and realised there is never a good time to have a baby so we did. I was crying for a while scared and after she was born my fears were all proved wrong. So much so that I am now pg on DC3 if people ask I give a non comittal answer like I dont know yet.

Your baby is tiny dont let others pressure you into having a baby you decide when you are ready. The birth was much easier second time toop BTW.

Good question Paperbag!
After DD1, I always knew wanted a second and that I wanted about a 2 year (ish) age gap. When she was about 18 months, I got the same 'need' to have a baby as I had the first time around. Thankfully by that point I had managed to persude DD1 to sleep properly (only just, mind!) so it seemed a realistic possibilty.
My question is....will the same feeling come again and will I end up with a third child?!

Oh and in terms of labour, pretty certain that second labours are always better (and if not, you are at least aware of what drugs to ask for to see you through it!!)

What to say to those 'interested parties' who enquire.....one day hopefully, too busy enjoying first DC to think about it yet though.

Thanks for the replies. It's interesting to hear about other people's experiences.

I didn't/don't have PND but I do think I struggled a bit in the very early days so it scares me a bit to think of doing it all over again. But I'm enjoying DS so much more now (he really is a lovely boy!) that he's a bit older so maybe I'm just better once they are past that tiny baby stage...

Bubbles12 - I do sometimes think that if I get to the stage that I want 2DC then why not have 3! Don't think DH would be that keen though!

Oh, and thanks for the suggestions on how to reply to the enquirers! I always just laugh and mutter something non-commital.