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Parenting

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Original poster

How to control the beast that is the x box addiction?

13 replies

DrNortherner · 23/01/2011 13:00

Ds is 8, 9 in April. He is an x box aholic. For Christmas he got a subscription to xbox live (huge mistake imo)

He would sit glued to that screen 24/7 if we let him, which of course we do not.

He is an active kid as we are an active family, we walk our dog lots, he plays football for a team which involve training twice a week plus matches and he does tag rugby after school on a Thurs. So I am not worried about that. What I am worried about is at home he thinks he has a right to be on it all the time, and if we say no he sulks, whines and acts like we are the worst parents in the world.

He has taken to waking really early so he can play on it.....

Time for a ban, or a certain daily allowance?

How do you guys manage it?

Thanks

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SecretNutellaFix · 23/01/2011 13:10

Work out the times you are happy to let him play and no varying those times. If he tries it, removal of cable and controllers and he only gets them back when you decide.

thunderbird69 · 23/01/2011 14:20

I can symapthise with you. We have 2 boys - 9 and 11 who are x box mad. I wish we never had the bloomin thing - given to them by my FIL.

We don't allow them on it during weekdays, but then that does mean that when they go on it at the weekends that they just don't want to come off. It causes so much grief.

Jdore · 23/01/2011 17:33

We don't put a limit on it,Ds is 11.Mon-Fri he has approx 1.5hrs homework after getting home at 4.45pm,he plays rugby or football at school plus playing out with his friends, he goes to "climb" one night a week and swims once a week with a swimming teacher and again with Dh on saturday morning, he walks with me to take our Newfie out twice a day, anytime he has left is his to do as he wishes. Do you think we should limit him then. Ds3 and d are 3 so it doesn't apply to them

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SecretNutellaFix · 23/01/2011 18:26

I would certainly not let him go on before breakfast, especially on a school day. It will soon start impacting on his work and behaviour at school if he cuts his sleep to play. When he moves up to senior school as well, his homework load will increase.

Acanthus · 23/01/2011 18:32

We have always had a rule that no screens go on before school. In the evening, DS2 (who is 9) plays until tea is ready at 5.30ish and then again after tea / homework/ music practice for half an hour or so. But I am talking DS or tv, not xbox. Are you really happy with an 8 yo on xbox live? Do you know it is unmoderated? Have you heard the language? Someone on here said it was for over sixteens only, though I don't knw whether that's true.

Original poster

DrNortherner · 23/01/2011 22:17

He is on xbox live but I control the parent account so authorise all friend requests. His friends are all actual friends who I know, either from school or his football team and his 11 year old cousin. I moderate it heavily. Also, he does not have headphones so he can't interact, all he can do is play at the same time as his friends but from different locations.

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TCOB · 23/01/2011 22:21

This was getting a bit out of control in our house up until a few weeks ago but now - DS (7) is only allowed on at the weekend (which includes Friday after school) AND if he has behaved i.e. he cannot assume he'll get it. he has to have done well that week. The goals are pretty easy to meet TBH (just getting ggod marks, trying hard) but I think what works is the fact that he can never assume he'll get it.
But just in case I sound smug - he really really hates me for it sometimes

notrightnow · 23/01/2011 22:22

I would take it away for a while. He needs to normalise his behaviour with it, and I don't think children can do that at such a young age it if is there as an option - he will just obsess about playing (which you say he is doing already). Put it away (which will be painful!) and get some other activities well established - not things that you organise but other things which he likes to do on his own at home. What did he like to do before the x-box came?

Original poster

DrNortherner · 23/01/2011 22:24

He loves lego, loves playing with his army figures and tanks and loves just lounging and flicking through Guiness book of records and the like. All of which he does happily, after the xbox sulk.

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notrightnow · 23/01/2011 22:36

Hmm ... then you'll have to brave out the sulk! If he really enjoys all those activities that you'll be OK :)

My son had an xbox at about the same age as yours, but not xbox live until very recently (he's 13 now). When he got it we had a very serious talk and I told him that ours was not the kind of household that had rules and timelimits, and so I was trusting him to be sensible. If I said 'no more' it had to be turned off without complaint, and and if I said he couldn't play, then there was to be no complaint or he wouldn't be allowed to play at all. We have only ever had 1 TV and reception room which also helps - everything has to be negotiated and fair to the whole family. A couple of times when he was about 10 I banned him for a week as a result of whinging, but other than that it works OK. (the arguments about 18 rated games are another matter... ).

I went with this approach having seen friends setting daily limits etc and the whole issue being a constant battleground which just requires so much policing. Also I found that if you say 'you can play for an hour' they will play for a hour, whereas if I say to my son 'yes, OK, you can have a couple of matches on xbox live' then it's done it 20 mins and he's happy to leave it.

Good luck!

Original poster

DrNortherner · 23/01/2011 22:44

Thanks notrightnow, I like that idea. Think I will discuss this with him tomorrow.

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Digger2000 · 24/01/2011 09:59

Isn't there some kind of electronic 'parental timelimit' you can set on the xbox? Seem to remember seeing it in the setup menu. Don't know what happens when you reach the limit though - probably just shows some kind of silly message , but I might hope that it stops working until it has a parental password to override?

I just remember joking when I saw it that I'd be having to put that into practice for my DH not the kids :)

Good luck anyway!

Fennel · 24/01/2011 11:32

We have strict limits on TV and computer time. If the dds (10, 9, 6) don't stick to these, or whinge or pester for more, then the TV goes away for a week. So they stick to it. Mine like TV more than computer games, otherwise it would be computer games going away. Or sold or given away.

I'm not sure what we'll do when they are teenagers, maybe I will just let them do whatever, but at primary age we are firm on this.

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