how do i best tell my children that i was adopted?

[jobee1kanobi]

I was adopted as a baby and have 3 children now of my own (age 5,3 and 11 months). I am wondering how best to tell my children that I was adopted as it hasn't come up in conversation yet. Does anyone have any thoughts / experiences?

Well, its highly unlikely to come up in conversation, personally I would wait until they were 10 or 11 when they can understand what adoption is?
I have no experience of adoption and this is only my opinion, sorry if way off the mark.

Could you find a book suitable for pre-school children that explains adoption and how some families are made?

I am sure the adoption board would have some great suggestions on how to talk about it all too.

I was adopted as a baby, and wondered when the time would be right to tell my children then 5 and 3. My dh was concerned that the girls would be worried about it babies being taken away from there mothers and could it happen to them. I always knew as a child, it was't a secret , no big talk or surprise, it was just part of our lives. So I thought my girls should know,so I told them, and because they were little they just accepted it and moved on, very occaisonally it crops up in conversation, questions are asked, its no big deal,
I would do it asap make it part of your family life/history.Unless you have issues with it, I never have.

Yes, I would just drop it into conversation when they are very, very young. Reassure them that they are stable and secure with you and won't be being adopted themselves. They will accept it very quickly and easily and it will not make them insecure. It will be far better for them to have "always known", than for this information to suddenly be given to them at a later point when you judge they are more able to understand.

I had a baby adopted when I was at university. I told my boys about "their brother" when they were just tiny little dots. They are 11 and 13 now.

Just drop it into conversation when you can, don't make a big deal of it and it will just be something they grow up knowing - far better than being 'told' when they're older.

I would use a friend being pregnant or anyone with a newborn just to drop it into conversation as in 'you were chosen'. The earlier is the better. I have an older cousin who was adopted and I can't remember being told, I seem to have always known and just accepted it.

thank you so much for your messages; very helpful and i am really grateful!

I am adopted and its just not something I would even have considered really telling the kids until they were a fair bit older.

As a child I always knew I was adopted though.

my grandad adopted my mum, cant remember when i was told or how it came up i must have been very young it didnt bother me at all, still saw him as her dad my grandad etc,sorry thats no help on how to tell them

If you tell them early it is just absorbed, if you wait it is more of a shock and rebounds onto 'who they are' because things are not as they thought. If I was the DC and I was told later on I would be inclined to think 'what other secrets might there be?'
Best to be open from the start.

My Dad was adopted and I was told (by my grandmother) when I was about 14.

It wasn't and isn't a big deal, either for him or for me. They were my grandparents, not the woman who gave birth to my Dad, so there were never any issues of identity for any of us.

On reflection, I reckon it would have been better for them to tell me even sooner, as it was a bit of a shock. So, I'd just bring my children up, in your case, with the normality of it.