Smoking

[GreenAmy]

OK need some help here

DD1 is 11, a sweet, intelligent girl, still at junior school.

It in November days after her birthday that we found her smoking, ton of bricks on her, stopped pocket money, grounded, took away her nintendo ds lite, threatened her with all sorts.

All I have done is drive use apart

She used to be such a friendly, giggly girl, we got on so well, now we hardly speak, we seem to fall out with each other all the time

I know she still smokes, I demand to know where she gets her cigarettes she says she has friends

Her father died in a traffic accident in 2009, but we have mostly got over it now

Any suggestions before I give in to her

Hi Sorry to hear you are struggling with your dd. My ds is 13 and is also smoking, my dh died in March 2010 and he has struggled.

I have had a tough time trying to parent him, with the smoking I found it particularly hard to let go as my dh smoked socially but he died of cancer and obviously the last thing I want is my children to smoke.

He does have friends whose parents buy them cigarettes but I will never go down that route. I know I can't stop him smoking but I don't have to condone it, so he knows that it is not allowed in the house, I don't want to see any evidence of cigarettes, lighters etc especially as I have younger children.

I know how easy it is for them to get cigarettes I can only hope he will grow out of it! I have tried the grounding, witholding money etc but nothing works!

Have you tried showing her photos of lungs of smokers? really push the risks of smoking? A bit of a scare tactic?

She clearly needs you to be understanding and supportive (which you are being) but do not 'give in to her'.

Think of her health, now and in the future. She's probably addicted by now and will need help to quit. Your local surgery will offer a smoking cessation service.
I've two teenage girls and would be gutted if I found out they were smoking. No signs of it yet but doesn't mean they won't.

yes Sirzy, done that, although she wasn't interested

pinotmonster do you not worry how she gets her cigarettes and where she goes to smoke, I do

I have DD2 7