Not bonding with new baby

[MeelooMouloo]

I hav just had my 3rd child, a son who is wks old. Already have very demanding 2 yr old daughter and older son who is thankfully, very laid back.
I am bf but finding it difficult as he's ALWAYS hungry but then he is a big baby, when he's not feeding he's crying or whinging, hates being put down, wants to be constantly carried around and sometimes he cries even then. He rarely sleeps during the day, has occassional naps but only when he's in the car or buggy, he will go for 4 hours at night though. Tried expressing so cld have 5 whilst he's with someone else but so far this has been unsuccessful despite having a bf co-ordinater come in & help. Got to the point where I just put him in the hallway with the hoover on to shut him up and give me 10mins to regain my sanity.
My daughter's behaviour has become increasingly challenging the less attention she is getting. Find i am just shoving her in front of cbeebies all the time and shouting at her. Prior to the new baby we'd had a really good relationship and she was very responsive and generally well behaved, although willful, for a toddler. Our relationship has just gone out the window as all my time is taken trying to pacify the baby.
Whilst I don't hate him neither do I feel any bond with him. I know that this can take time to develop but i don't even feel like he's my child. I'm finding this just as hard to deal with as all the other crap that he's brought to our lives. Trying to look after him as best i can but feel that I am failing him in comparison to how devoted I was to my daughter as a baby.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with this?

Ok. Firstly, don't panic. This early NB stage will pass.

Secondly, do you have access to more help? Could your own mother or MIL have your DD for a while during the day or would you consider a nursery a few times a week just to give yourself a bit of breathing space.

Thirdly, have you considered PND - might be worth having a word with the HV or GP.

Fourthly, have you considered contacting your Surestart centre, they may have some ideas for groups you could attend. I attend one or two groups at my local SS centre and they are great as your DD can play and you can sit and bf your DS. I believe there are also Homestart volunteers who will call round and give you a hand if needed.

TBH, the hoover thing, shouting, sitting child in front of Cbeebies sounds quite normal to me - have done them all!

Can you read to/cuddle DD while you are bf so she gets to be part of the special time too?

SS centres are a good call, you could try the drop in play sessions that are suitable for a range of ages.

Have you tried babywearing? If he was bundled up in a wrap he could sleep or even feed while you play with your older kids. I think that might help you feel closer to him as well as removing the idea that he is an "inconvenience" IYSWIM.

I wonder if the crying is because of something discomforting e.g reflux? Does he wriggle as if with wind, have wet acidic burps?

Could you try a dummy and swaddling for day naps? The dummy after a feed could help soothe him. The swaddling might help with day naps too - could you pop him in a bouncy chair swaddled for naps?

Thanks for your replies, today has been bit easier. DD goes to nursery 2 days a week which is a huge help, stupidly I try and get things like the shopping done on these days as its a lot easier to do with DS2 than with both of them.
LadyintheRadiator I can relate to most of what you describe. Sadly, can't express, tried several ways but nothing works. DH works full time inc. saturdays at the moment so do feel under pressure to do everything myself. Have relatives living close but they also work full time so no one to leave the kids with. Eldest son is 11 and he entertains DD when he's not at school. He's really patient with her.
Have been to the local SS centre today and was surprised at the number of activites they have on. Have signed up for stay and play next week which will hopefully get us out the house for a few hours. HV coming in to see us on Tues so will have chat with her.
Had bad PND after DD and sadly think that it may be returning, hopefully won't be as bad this time.
Iggly Have seen GP re: tummy pains and have tried several colic remedies and infant gaviscon but the spasms are in his bowel not tummy. Sadly think he has inherited my digestion as I suffer similar stomach pains when eating certain foods or suffering from anxiety. Will mention it to the HV again and see if she can offer any further advise.