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Do I still arrange playdates for 10 year old ds

7 replies

cartie · 20/01/2011 10:21

Hi
I feel under constant pressure to do this for him and worry that if he goes a few days without anybody coming that I am making no effort.
The trouble is I find it the most unrewarding task and difficult task and hate going up to parents and asking if their dc's can come and play after school.
Part of my problem is that I am shy at the school gates as well.
I worry about ds as he is an only has no cousins of his age in the family to play with and plays with nobody in the neighbourhood either so I am constantly feeling this pressure to get him mates around.
I also know that he is getting too old for me to do this for him as well.
So I am not sure where I go from here how do children get together at this age without me having to make a fool of myself by stalking other parents.
I have made a fair bit of effort but nobody ever comes and asks ds he has always been popular at school has plenty of friends etc but he is currently at a school where I have to drive him to so none of his mates are in our area for him to walk to their house or walk from school with and arrange something together.
Is my ds destined to have no company at home.
He does love having mates over and very often comes out of school and asks if someone can come but I hate the asking.
Help me please will this pass and one day he will doing all his own arranging and what do we do in the meantime.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SenoritaViva · 20/01/2011 10:29

I think you DS is at the age now where he can arrange them himself and get his friends to ask their parents if they can go to his house. Give him one or two afternoons in the week that would be available for this.

Stop stressing so much. My rule is that if DC has one friend over a week I am doing a good job.

Are there any after school clubs he could go to?

cartie · 20/01/2011 10:35

What do I do.
How do I confirm it with the other childs parents.
Some of the children go home on their own.
Would I just get ds to ask and then get ds to give the friend my phone number for the parents to call.

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TanteRose · 20/01/2011 10:36

its not your job anymore...if he wants to ask a mate over, let him do the asking.

he could always phone the night before and arrange it. And you could speak to the mum then, if you wanted.

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TanteRose · 20/01/2011 10:36

oops, x-posts!

cartie · 20/01/2011 10:38

There is a fun club attached to the school which parents have to pay for its usually for working parents.
Me and ds's dad are working parents but we are able to arrange the school run between ourselves without paying out.
However I have thought about letting ds go to it once a week to play with his mates.

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cartie · 20/01/2011 10:42

Okay tante thats useful.
I hate trying to seek particular parents out on the playground because half the time I end up missing them.
I think ds does need to become more independent with all this.

OP posts:
TanteRose · 20/01/2011 10:43

also, the fun club sounds a good idea a couple of times a week.

Good luck! it does get easier as they get older (my DS is nearly 12 now)

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